OMG how rude was this lady today, ( be warned this content may offend some of you, if it does i apologise xxx )
- Forums
- Debates
- OMG how rude was this lady today, ( be warned this content may offend some of you, if it does i apologise xxx )
10/10/08 17:46
10/10/08 17:45
Yeah Noobi.. you totally ballsed that up
10/10/08 17:43
oh go on admit it WS what I said didnt make sense at all
what you put was what i was trying to say anyway, you just put it better
10/10/08 17:41
It all comes down to intentions really. It sounds like the old lady referred to in the OP was trying to be nice but utterly ballsed it up. Whereas it'snearlymybirthday's mum couldn't have possibly been trying to say anything positive at all!
10/10/08 17:38
ummm no not really, as even if theorectically your view wasnt acceptable of special needs, and you still made an effort to be nice to someone about it, the effort that person has gone to should be accounted for, as in the OP, when the person is being openly offensive and making no effort at all to allow for the other parties feelings then the separation falls. If the OP mentioned the lady was toward her child the same you describe your mother was to the stranger, I would really struggle to see anyone taking the view of the lady mentioned into account and I think all would dismiss her as offensive and that's all. there is a big difference between trying to understand and making no effort what so ever - even if they both started on the same educational view from 'their day'
I hope what i've said there makes sense too lol
10/10/08 17:38
This lady may be of older generation but really age is no excuse. I do understand that it take different opinions to make a world go round but sometimes you do have to think before you speak. I do not agree with what she said it was completely tackless and even if there wasn't a problem it is still not the sort of thing to say. Children will speak when they are ready and is nones place to judge that,
10/10/08 17:32
Yikes, i don't wanna start an argument here! Just when I read the OP, it made me think abuot what my Mum said.
10/10/08 17:31
N00bi, I didn't say that they were the same thing - I said that in the end it all comes down to having those views. Yes, my Mum was hugely offensive, the other lady wasn't, I do agree. But you surely can't make such a comment, offensive or well intentioned, if your mindset is absolutey against the cause?
Does that makes sense?
10/10/08 17:30
i dont agree with your mums views, this was with regards to what happened with the OP. im lucky that my mum would never say stuff like that....well, if she did then id have to have a word with her manager where she works...supporting people with learning difficulties...lol! no, i think thats wrong in all aspects and to be fair, if a close family member HAD said something like that i dont know how id react, probably would feel like saying 'well you cant spend time with my child' thats how much it would hurt me.
10/10/08 17:30
ooops being a slow typist strikes again
I mean the other post, havent read the new one yet...
10/10/08 17:29
I'd disagree inmb that they are the same thing, what the OP described was a well intentioned lady messing up what she said based on how things were refered to in her day, but what your mother said was offensive and can only be viewed as offensive there is no way around that one
10/10/08 17:28
I do agree, but my Mum is only 48. I bet there are people who use this site who are older but much more liberal in their thinking.
My Mum is the kind of person who will notice that your nipples are bigger than anyone elses and point it out to yuo, giving you a complex for the rest of your life. She's the kind of person who will sunbathe naked in front of her teenage son and more or less pull his shorts down to make a point that it's ok to be naked and then question why he won't go around naked in front of her when she's his son. She's the kind of person who absolutely goes bonkers in front of other men, checking them out to the point where everyone else in a room can feel uncomfortable, she gets too close for comfort.
So if she's so damn liberal in this sense, then why can't she liberalise her view on babies born with certain conditions?
My Mum just really irks me sometimes.
10/10/08 17:25
if you grew up where people of a certain type were not seen out and about, or if so very rarely, and you were told that these people were put away for the best, and thats what you did, thats what EVERYONE did, cant you see it would be very difficult for people many year later to know how to react when confronted with these situations?
10/10/08 17:23
I know it wasn't what the OP said RuralBhudda .. it just made me think of that as soon as I read it.
And it all comes to the same thing anyway, these people have such strong opinions which are out of touch with today.
10/10/08 17:21
some people i know have views similar to your mums.
10/10/08 17:21
but 'should be killed at birth' isnt what was said to the op, those are 2 totally different scenarios.
i know, everyone , every year, should have an 'upto date and pc' lesson so we all know what to say now as opposed to 40/50/60 years ago....
10/10/08 17:19
Wow, what a thread!
Just wanted to add my two pennies ..
I was having a conversation similar to this with my Mum over lunch one day, there was a couple sitting nearby, I know them and their little girl has downs syndrome. We also have some friends with a little boy who has something wrong - I don't know the name of hsi condition, but his muscles don't talk to the rest of his body and his learning is slower than children his age.
Anyway, my Mum rolled her eyes and said 'those kids should be killed at birth' to which I was horrified! I knew she had some out there views but to say that was purely awful. Cue an argument to which I responded 'so if I had a child who was born with a condition, you wouldn't love him or her as much as you love my dd', she said 'no, she couldn't bring herself to' ...
In the end we had to agree to disagree. in all honesty, I don't think age allows someone to be ignorant, we have to be open minded to their ways and I think that there is room for them to learn a bit more about todays world and society where people do have children before marriage and where people do actually love their children, regardless of their health.
I hope that I haven't offended - I do NOT share my mothers views one bit!!
10/10/08 17:08
Welcome to the twilight zone 10/10/08 17:07
Whoa! This was deleted, n'est pa?
10/10/08 17:06
*wonders whatever happened to societies understanding and accepting different people have different ways of describing the same thing depending on their age group*
i agree with you noobi
LMAO!
