No kids at weddings...
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10/10/08 12:21
noobi
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10/10/08 12:21
The thing that has irked me is the fact that despite knowing that the bride has requested to have no friends there she has decided to go to the church with her children regardless. It almost rings home to be like a case of "swivel of that"!
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10/10/08 12:19
Just read that you will not be taking the child. Ignore the first part of my post.
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10/10/08 12:19
if you ask for no kids you CAN expect your friends to respect your wishes or you CAN turn them away, you are hiring the venue, you are paying a lot for the use of the church for your service, the vicar/priest, the flowers, the heating (if necessary), the choir, the ushers are there on the door to assist on the day. to purposefully go out to try and ruin someones day is dispicable behaviour.
I'd be horrified if a 'friend' of mine tried to ruin my day like this, that is just cruel, who the hell do you think you are OP
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10/10/08 12:18
If they don't want kids at their wedding then you cannot take kids there! Would you go to a party uninvited?
It's their wish whom they want to have at their wedding.However - and my opinion will not be popular - I think it's a SHAMEFUL way to treat children, as if they were a different species altogether. Family is family whatever age they are. I feel sorry for the poor kids who are not welcome at their own aunty's/uncle's/any close relative's wedding. What about if old people weren't invited, would that be acceptable? After all they can be garrulous, slow and annoying, who'd want them to come and spoil your perfect day? Or, if the couple is very young would it be ok to decide that no one over 25 should come? They do seem like a bunch of stuffed shirts when you're a teen anyway, why would you want them anywhere near you on your special day. I think it should be respected if people don't want children at their weddings, but I personally find it very sad.
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10/10/08 12:18
so she doesnt go then, or like was said before she tells her the situation and asks if she can come to part of the day with her kids and she would like to be a part of it.
i am sure the bride is very stressed out with arrangements etc and prob didnt mean to have a go. the week before a wedding is mega stressful.
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10/10/08 12:17
Flounder - I agree with you and I've actually said the same already.
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10/10/08 12:16
Come on guys read the posts...
She has stated that the wedding is next week and their babysitter has let them down so now DH can't go. HSe phoned the bride to tell her and the bride had a go at her.
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10/10/08 12:15
your pic is playing havoc with my eyes lol my brain thinks i am drunk
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10/10/08 12:14
Oh - and if you get married in a church everyone is welcome. You can't tell people they can't come. I am sure the bride knows this.
I had no kids at my wedding and expected people not to come because of it. However, the church was packed with everyone from church which included kids etc. That was lovely.
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10/10/08 12:13
how long have you known about the wedding OP??
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10/10/08 12:12
When we get invites, i long for them to be just addressed for me and dh only lmao.Obviously if it was really close family then i would maybe take them, depends really.
We didnt have many children at our wedding, all bar 4 were not close family,but they didnt get in the way and they didnt disrupt anything.
Our really really good friends are getting married in slovenia in january, they and we are gutted we cant go. I dont want to take the children, they want them involved (so i infact have the opposite problem to you lol). But i wont go away and leave them for 3 days with ds being so young.I would leave the girls though lol.
They are having a big wedding reception party when they get back, again they really wangt the children to be involved, but we have told the girls it is adults only. I want to go out and have fun with dh, and i cant do that as i want if they are there
I do feel a little guilty, as they are all very close with our friends too, but ahhhh well, we shall all get over it 
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10/10/08 12:11
The OP wasn't saying that.
She has stated that her friend has had a go at her because her DH is not going ot the wedding due to not having child care. Do people really think it is OK for the Bride to have a go at someone fo rnot coming because they can't get childcare??
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10/10/08 12:06
Well if someone I know had a "no kids" wedding, I'd respect their wishes but I wouldn't go myself either. Mainly because I'd find it impossible to get a babysitter for all 3 of my goblins but also because I just wouldn't like to go somewhere that my children had been wilfully excluded from. Just my own personal feelings on it.
If I got married (pmsl) I would want kids there! I went to WeaselFeature's cousin's wedding last year and there were loads of kids running about. It made for a lovely atmosphere and all the parents (myself included) were very considerate about taking the kids outside to play while the speeches were going on.
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10/10/08 12:06
Obviously the bride isn't a good friend, or you wouldn't be questionning her wishes for HER special day!
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10/10/08 12:05
i agree with LH, if you cant get a sitter explain to her and ask if it is possible for you to attend part of it as you wish to be there. you cant just turn up with your kids without asking her. that is rude.
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10/10/08 12:03
BB - Can't believe you are being so rude as to ignore the bride's wishes though! That makes you a less than "good" friend IMO!
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10/10/08 12:03
Why not write her a BRIEF letter saying how much you want to be there on her day but that its impossible to get childcare for the whole day, apologise and ask her if you can attend SOME of the day, because she is important to you.
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10/10/08 12:03
i have to say if it was my wedding and i had said no kids, and someone turned up with their kids i would ask them to leave. it would be my day and either people respect my wishes or they dont bloody come.
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10/10/08 12:02
BassiBabes - I do agree that she shouldn't get upset if ppl can't come. I didn't, even though MIL's cousin had a hissy fit! She actually wanted to bring her daughter instead of her hubby and said "what difference does it make since the numbers will be the same then?!!". But my point was that I couldn't make exceptions for one when others with younger kids were making arrangements so they could come. In fact, I didn't even have my dad's kids there either as I wasn't willing to compromise at all!
I would love to know other people's opinions of this as it tends to be quite controversial and I wondered what you lot think. It may not be the best site to put this on as I presume that most of us have children...
There are five of my friends from school who i still spend time with and have known for almost 20 years. One of the group got married 6 years ago and I was the only one with children then, my dd who was 3 at the time and was invited to the whole wedding day. The other three friends have all got married within the last year and have all had no-kids at their weddings - two of which have been on Fridays! I now have a ds who's 3 and dd is now 10, my friend who was married first has a dd (now 2) and a baby 5 months (so was pg through the first two weddings). She didn't bring dd1 to the first no-kids wedding, but brought her to the 2nd as she was flower girl (even though my 2 kids were not anything and not invited) and had to bring the baby as she was 3 weeks old and bf. Her dd1 is now flower girl to the last wedding (next Friday) but the baby is banned even though she is still bf and won't take a bottle. My kids again are banned and haven't been involved. The parents of this friend are having to drive to the wedding and reception/party throughout the day for the baby to be bf - which strikes me as completely ridiculous - and my dp can't come to the reception as our babysitter has let us down and we have no-one to have our kids (because it's a FRIDAY and everyone is working!!)
There are a lot of issues with this group anyway whcih have just got worse over the last few years as I have kids and they don't. They don't understand anything about having kids and I can't remember what it's like NOT to have kids. The only weddings we've been banned from taking the kids are theirs even though a lot of our other friends without kids have got married recently...
I had to phone the bride yesterday and advise her that dp couldn't come to the reception as we didn't have a sitter and had been let down, and all she could do was have a go at me for letting her down. I have been trying all week (through migraine, high blood pressure and sickness as am 16 weeks pg with baby no 3!) to find another plan but it's just impossible at such short notice so I don't have any other option. Even though she had said earlier this week that she's had three other people drop out, when I suggested that we bring ds as she has the space now, she said that that would be highly unfair as some of her friends from London can't come as they can't bring their children. Thought it woudl be a sensible option to be honest as then dp's meal and one of the other spare ones wouldn't be wased but God forbid an under-18 be in attendance!!!
I do TRY to understand where this rule comes from but it just strikes me as one rule for one and one rule for others when really we've all known each other for the same amount of time and have the same relationship. i just don't gettit!! grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Anyway - rant over!! Any thoughts??? xx