how about:

'we sold the telly'

How about

"They arent mine, i just found them wandering about and am returning them to the zoo"

Works with my 2 little monkeys.

Fake tears crying 'I know I know I can't handle it anymore, let go of the pushchair and walk in the other direction for a couple of seconds.

I might have to borrow my niece and stick her in a backpack carrier... That'd get me some look

you could say your also pregnant with triplets

Just smile and say 'I wouldnt have it any other way' and kill them with kindness lol.

I also get similar comments when on placements people are like 'omg youve got two young kids- you must be busy/you're a glutton for punsihment/I couldnt leave mine that young' ahhh feccckk orrrf some people!

for a witty retort to 'by 'eck you've got your hands full' and faces when I'm out???

If I had a pound for every time I've heard that in the last 9 weeks I'd be filthy rich by now but I can't think of anything clever to say in response.

I won't even begin to tell you about the woman comparing my children to her Jack Russells...