this will probably be contraversial but..
- Forums
- Due in January
- this will probably be contraversial but..
7/10/08 09:06
7/10/08 09:00
I really wanted a homebirth with dd but dh was against it plus where i am they dont offer you it if your a first time mum basicaly because you dont know what your birth will be like and if you will experience problems, they let you have subsequent babies at home a long as you are low risk based on your previous labour. Now I've had a baby and know a bit more I am totally against homebirths, I have my reasons but wont be going into them.
6/10/08 19:45
I dont know I think its hard to "get" why women feel so strongly if youve never been in that position like if you have been able to do what ever have what ever birth you like then its hard to imagine having that choice "made" for you so to speak
I was strongly advised against a home birth for obvious reasons if id had just a singelton then id have gone for a homebirth i dont feel strongly enough about having my baby at home to "fight it" but i can understand why women do, its hard having that choice taken away from you I think
6/10/08 18:46
I really wanted a HB at the beginning of this pregnancy, mainly due to the fact it is my 2nd and apparently we know what we're doing because we've done it before. I was really worried about being left on my own whilst in labour and I know with HB you're guaranteed midwife attention throughout.
My mw is totally fine with the idea of HB, no probs with first birth, this pregnancy etc but my dh is totally against it. I have to admit as I've gotten further along I can see his point as he is soo worried about things going wrong he wants me at the hospital. I am trying to make the final decision now as to what I want and I feel although it's my body blah blahblah he does have a say as I'm his wife and I'm carrying his child. Don't mean to make dh sound awful as he's not but he is sooo paranoid I don't think he'd relax at all and that's now going to be healthy for me either - lol.
MAybe I should try and discuss water births with him instead lol xxx
6/10/08 16:27
My MW told me at my last appointment I wouldn't be able to have a home birth cos I have Group B Strep.. But I had already opted for hospital birth - just incase of anything going wrong really.
x
6/10/08 16:17
I think a lot of it is to do with what healthcare trust your surgery is part of. I am going to book a home birth as I walked into hospital last time fully dilated and am worried that this labour will be even quicker, we live 25 minutes away from the nearest unit. If there are complications I will be sent to Taunton as that is the trust that the midwife is based at. However my nearest hospital is Yeovil and if I change my mind and decide to go to hospital or problems in the pregnancy suggest I should be in hospital, I can choose to go to Yeovil. Your midwife will only deliver your baby personally if she is on call at that time.
6/10/08 15:55
I didnt know you had a specific mw for a homebirth I thought you got who you was given lol makes sense now, but still dont think it changes the fact that should there be an emergency you will be taken to the nearest place, maybe ring the hospital and explain the situation and ask if you can speak to somebody there about what will happen xx
6/10/08 15:52
That is really, really odd! I thought they would nly be present if they were on call? My midwie when I had my daughter didnt give two flying figs when I had her! Where abouts are you based?
TBH you can choose whichever hospital you want!
6/10/08 15:50
My midwife has told me she will be present at the birth and this is why she wants me to go to southmead hospital because that is where she is based.
I had a really pleasent birth at st micheals and would feel more comfy there! i dont really know who i could speak to at the hospital as this will be my second baby and i still feel i have so much to learn about who does what lol!?
I feel so unprepared this time round!
6/10/08 15:47
I was gutted, but with the complications I had last time, and needing to be treated for strep b I think I'll have to settle for the rubbish hospital, like you said though as long as babys are safe!
if this one comes as quick as Josh did mind, I might be at home yet!!! that scares me more! xx6/10/08 15:42
Carley I cant water birth either and after being at my mates labour/birth and seeing how well she coped in water I was keen to give it a go but its a no no too
Pants aint it!No home births, no water births, i'll be stuck strapped up to a million wires, monitors & machines lying on my back again unable to move.
The things we have to go through just to keep these little ones safe! xxxx
6/10/08 15:41
Tori, I would of thought if anything went wrong they would rush you to the closest hospital, as it would be an emergency, sounds like your mw doesnt know what shes taking about, is there anyone you could discuss it with at the hospital? xx
6/10/08 15:41
I think that sometimes part of the problem is that some doctors and midwifes focus more on the negatives and the risks but don't always present them in light that shows how likley they are to occur. I know it's a completely different issue but I would really like to be allowed to try for a natural delivery this time. the midwife I have seen has spoken to me about uterine rupture, placenta previa and some other placenta problem that I had never heard of, still birth, oxygen depreivation for bus and a whole host of other things. She eventually agreed that a successful natural delivery was much safer than a section, but it took her a while to get round to telling me that some of these complications are very rare. I would imagine that people wanitng a home birth sometimes come up against a similar attitude, so that unless you have the perfect text book pregnanct, there are always a list of risks to tell you about. I know that you ahve to know the risks, and god, I would would want to know them all before I made the decisions, but I also would ant them to be presented to me in an honest way. Just my view...
6/10/08 15:39
Tori, surely you get a choice? I am in Bristol and ha a choice out of like 4/5 hospitals. I dont see why your midwife cares as she wont be the one actually there when you give birth will she? Sorry OT.
6/10/08 15:38
Dont let her push you around. I have crap midwives too. The only one I really loved was a male mw I had with dd and at the beginning of my pregnancy but he left my practice and I was gutted. Some midwives have no tact so pay no attention to her, anything you want just tell her straight. Its your baby and your body! xx xxx
6/10/08 15:37
I do agree with you tbh, I would love a hb absolutely love one, but mw has told me this will never be an option for me niether will a water birth which was my next want and as gutted as I am that I'll never be able to experience this, and as much as I am dreading being in the hospital I was with ds again as I had a horrible experience not with the birth just with how I was treated I would obviously only do what is best for my daughter and shes the one who needs to be taken into consideration not me imo as much as I'd love a more postive experience xx
6/10/08 15:35
Thats how i feel but the midwife i have makes me feel quite uncomftable sometimes as if shes judging me because of my age but shes the only midwife at my doctors i think maybe i will have to just stop being such a pushover and try to put my foot down but i really do hate confrontation x
6/10/08 15:29
tori im sure you cant be forced into what hospital you go to. Especially if there are complications and you need to get to one quick, surely the closest one is the best option?? xxxxx
6/10/08 15:28
I was adament on a homebirth with my dd but ended up being induced early as had many complications including PE. So i couldnt get my homebirth that I wanted but I was ok with the fact of having baby in hospital due to the risks and stuff, its going the same way this time so I know it will be a hosp birth which im totally ok with as I dont wanna risk baby and will probably be induced anyway.
I too am all for fighting for your right to have a homebirth BUT after being on the other end of all the complications, if the hopsital birth is the safest option and the homebirth is putting baby at risk no doubt about it then i believe a hospital birth it should be.
But as well, nobody can take away your rights to having a homebirth and you know your body better than anyone so I can understand to an extent why people feel the need to go that one step further even with risks being involved as some professionals may just be a bit over cautious to your circumstances.
But then again, there is nothing wrong with being over cautious especially when its a tiny little life involved!
Mmmmmm touchy situation lol. Maybe i'll stay sat on the fence with this one lol. I guess it really is just down do knowing your own body, listening to the advice given by professionals and making the decision from there.Good luck withy our homebirths! Maybe one day i'll get mine
xx6/10/08 15:21
Hi,
Ive want to go for a homebirth and my midwife said i would be fine as i had no problems in my previous pregnancy only thing is last time i went to see her she said if anything did go wrong i would have to go to southmead hospital because she is based there, which is a hospital further from where i live and one i really dont want to go to i would rather go to st micheals which is where i had my daughter so im kinda debating now on having a homebirth.
If anything does go wrong do i have the right to demand to go to the hospital of my choice??
Tori, Ruby-leigh and yellow bump 26 wks x
i think you can have a choice about hospital - but my choice wasn't accepting referrals form outside the catchment...
Tori - She wants you to have your baby where she is based becasue its convienient for her???!! foof!
Thanks for your thoughts girlies - I'm glad I didn' upset anyone