s-e-x is a big problem. Gone off completely and dp can't understand it as it wasn't like that with my two dd. Just don't want to and getting really fed up with being hunted down for s-e-x. He tries really hard with lots of cuddling  but it just makes me even more nervous cause I know what he wants. He also can't understand why I don't even want to give him ' a hand' with things. For me that's sex as well. He's told me several times that if he starts looking elsewhere it is my fault.

Hi there i am 23 weeks and i feel exactly the same thank god some1 else feels like me! my boyfriend just dosent get the whole 'NO' to sex i just cant be bothad, but a feel if a dnt am scared that he mite go astray and find it else where!!! do u feel like that?? i feel down at the mo aswell as am nt wrking and hes at wrk as well as my mam nd dad and my best friend has went to live 170 miles away to be in university which im proud of her, but i just feel ike he isnt helping with anything like contributing to shopping for the baby its al me and my family. im just hoping that we do last for the babys sake!! when are you due???

Keep your chin up thats what a tell maself!lol!

xxxxx

im 20 and due in feb and my partener is living in holland at the minute working.. hes not moving back until december so ive really ad to plan everything on my own its so hard but i hav myn and his family to keep me gon!! good look all x

Husband...  Helping....  Don't make me laugh!!  They are men after all and have very little brain power and even if they do they choose not to use it.  Anyway you are not alone at all.  I have 3 kids and am tired all the time and never get to sit down till at least 10 at night.  Still I will be even busier after the baby is here.  Joy Joy Joy!!

will have three under 3's come February and no help in sight at all. Both me and partner do full time jobs. He 37 hours, I 40 hours plus 5 hour a week extra work. And am pregnant. He simply says that he works soo much harder than me. Plus he doesn't create any work  so he doens' need to help. Yeah right.

This weekend I asked him to lift out a new vacuum from the car boot. Had collected it from a depot earlier and the depot people had lifted it into the car. And they didn't even know I was preggars. Really heavy and bulky. It was raining and he said he won't as he thinks I only didn't want to get wet and he also thinks I am using pregnancy to make him help more.

This must be so tough on u esp with all those hormones too.I think he osunds v selfish if u ask me and maybe u should ask urself if hes really worth it?Obv ur havin a child and not the ideal situation but if hes not willin to try what good would he be when bubs gets here.If he wont help when bubs is born like u say u suspect will be the case,then what sort of role model will he be?My partner isnt perfect,the reason he started on the anti depressants was cos he gets real angry when things get on top of him,not physical just cross and sometimes says hurtful things,but since going on them things have gotten heaps better.And now hes trying to come off them,he has asked me to keep an eye on him,and if i think hes treating me bad to tell him so he can go doc and discuss it,so i think hes being responsible too.And the difference is i feel like he supports me on the whole,and he has a great relationship with his daughter and loves kids,so whether hell be a good dad to other children isnt a Q in my eyes,but certainly treating me right is!!!Also if u have a boy,do u want them to think they can treat their partner the same way,or if u have a girl,think bein treated this way is acceptable???I can see u have a lot on ur plate right now,on top of everything else.And u must be havin all sorts of emotions right now too,it isnt all about how he feels.U said u live wit ur ma,what does she think / say?I hope i havent offended u...take care,emma x big hug for this tough time

yes i think its also the breakdown of communiction in my realtionship he doesnt have work and puts his stress out on me even if im not the course of it and erm instead of stopin the smoking he has started smoking since i fell pregnant

same here he was keen to have a baby and not considering how i am feeling during pregnancy and erm i doubt that he will consider helping me with babs once he or she is born im tired and fed up of the abuse all the tym

I just want u to both know that this is not normal...altho im sure u already know that.My partners pretty good most of the time,the sex thing can sometimes be an issue but i think he just feels a bit left out sometimes and thats his way of feelin close.

When i was about 9 weeks preg i gave work up due to bleeds in early pregnancy.Since then partner has been pretty slack,altho to be fair he has so much goin on himself.He works full time,his mum died recently,hes just started to give up smoking for the new baby coming,and hes just stopped his anti-depressants,so a lots goin on for him too.But it seemed that cos i gave up work he expected me to do everything,even clean the dishes after i cooked a nice meal.I put up with it til last wk,but i felt like nothing was getting much tidier in the house,and wondered how id cope with a baby on top of it.So i talked to him,i told him i understand whats goin on for him too but lately hed been slack,n he told me he knew he had.The last wk since the talk hes been helpin out so much more,and hes starting to decorate at the wkend.Hes been unloading and reloading the dishwasher before he goes to work,doin washin etc.I mean he's not doin everything cos i wouldnt expect him to after a hard day at work,but hes helping out and keeping on top of things that ive done during the fday and i feel relieved now.

When a new baby arrives its a massive shock and so much extra to do,on top of feeling tired.Hes already thinking ahead and asked me to express milk so he can feed up til 1am,then ill have to do rest of night as he has work nx day and i can catch up  on sleep during the day.Its amazing what communicating can do and it might even bring u and partner closer.Ideally theyll understand and might make a joke about it,but the nx day / wk ull see if theyve thought about what uve said,n tell em if they dont buck their ideas up u cant see how u can move forward as a family,cos at the mo it seems like a one parent family anyway.There are some decent men out there,and hopefully urs might turn out to be one - me n dp jhave been together 6 yrs,havin 2nd child,and our 1st i was preg within a few wks getting together,and its been tough and he hasnt always been this great - 1st preg he wasnt the best to be fair,but now weve learnt how to talk - just hang on in there!!!

Hi, unfortunately i think there are alot of us in your situation. This is my second pregnancy with my oh and both times he has worn me down emotionally, as soon as I fell preg with ds in 2007 it was like a switch was pressed, he became a diffrent person, very cold towards me, made me feel like everything that we argued about was my fault, there was no intimacy, it was like we were no longer a couple then as soon as the baby was born, he wanted everything again, the intimacy, the closeness, just being a couple and spending time together again. I am now 5 months pregnant with his second child and he has done exactly the same again, I also feel like hes useing me for money this time round, because when he is skint he wants to be with me but when he has money of his own i dont see him for dust, I am now on antidepressants and having help with a phsyciatrist, he has worn me down that much. I am looking forward to giving birth to this child and feeling a bit normal again, as for me and him I think things will come to an end between us. Pregnancy should be a very happy special time in our lives, not one to look back on with thoughts of hating the experience, which is what i have with both of my pregnancies with him. Hes not been the least bit involved, ie:- not been to any scans or appointments, yet he was so keen for us to become pregnant. Im sure there is light at the end of the tunnel and things will turn out for the best but at the moment I just cant see that.. Good luck with your own personal situation xx

yes i do luv yes i do i feel emotional write now thanx

sounds like you could do with a friend to talk to. if you ever want a chat feel free to pm me or add me to msn blondylocks87@hotmail.co.uk   

u go on girlfriend yeh i am also saving for babs and the future bcoz my partner is not getting his backside out of bed

and if it continues he can get out out of my parents house

we are at the mo staying with my parents and i have been thinking to tell him get a place for us to stay get a job coz the bills arent gonna pay for themselves

exactly but im hurting he doesnt listen he has petty arguments with me and starts being verbally anusive and stuff it hurts me i dont think i can go ay longer

i also do the work evrything basically and he doesnt be a help i havent ask anything from him but i just ask for him that i dont want it anymore coz hes hurt me real bad

i cry at tyms wen i think about it he emotionallu hurts me and puts me down 

hun, i know how you feel. i have no interest at all in sex at the mo and its very uncomfortable when i do, yet dp keeps trying to guiltrip me with 'do you have any idea how much it hurts me that you dont let me have sex for days at a time' .... well, no i dont know, and i dont particuarly care either lol (im sure its not as bad as he's making out)

i do the same ammount of washing, ironing, cooking, cleaning etc as i did before i was pg. i dont get any extra help and i doubt i will once baby arrives which is why ive started saving so i can get a place on my own in the next few months (if he doesnt buck his ideas up) ive got enough to get on with without having a 22 year old to mother as well

id just like to know if any1 has a partner likeme who does not help them very much  in their pregnancy

just still wanting sex

im 5 months and i feel so low and depressed coz he haschanged alot im not sure if its the pregnancy or whateva but does not help me at all or consider that i am pregnant and i so do not want sex but that all men thats wat goes through there heads

to him it seems that its old news 'im pregnant' thats it

he also has rediculous arguments with me and i feel emotionally down

any1 else in my situation