can lightening strike 2x
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- can lightening strike 2x
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14/11/08 11:59
Oh hunni I'm so pleassed for you I have tears in my eyes !!! Start enjoying the rest of the pregnancy and I wish you and the little bear all the best !
Look after yourself and be spoiled these last months xxxxxxx
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14/11/08 11:56
Thats brilliant news, I'm welling up here lol which isn't good when at work. I'm so pleased you and little bear have a chance and I hope you can go full term and keep the bear warm and safe.
Your strength has brought you through this and this baby and your current children have the best mum in the world. You've been through so much and stayed strong.
Good luck with the rest of the pregnancy and start to really enjoy them kicks.
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14/11/08 11:25
well ladies i had another call from my cancer nurse this morning and all i can say is.......................
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...............................................
........................................................... *(
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whoo hoo............... me and lil bear have been given a reprieve, for now atleast........ she spoke to my onc's secretary yesterday and my onc is not concerned at the mo.... as she was talking on the phone my onc came in and she asked if there was any messages that she could pass on for him... he said tell alex that we will be keeping a very very close eye on her and all being well, tell her to make sure she brings the baby in to show us when ever? it is born..........
yaaayyyyyyy....!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i know i am not completely out of the woods but for the 1st time in 14 weeks i am not sat here crying through worry and fear and uncertainity, i'm crying with relief...... i have spent the last 14 weeks not allowing myself to be happy or get excited and have stopped myself from bonding with lil bear, that now i don't know how i am feeling, i suppose after everything i have been through over the last few months it is going to take time to sink in, i still won't relax completely until lil bear is born, and i know wether they will still want to treat me with chemo at some stage.... but for now lo has been given a chance to grow and we can start to make plans for lo and the next few months......
i can't stop
but now they are happy tears...thankyou to every 1 who has shown such kindness and support....
thankyou... xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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14/11/08 10:23
hi Alex Just wanted write and say hang in there you are doing so well. Little one is obviously going to be a fighter. Hopefully you onc nurse will try and chase your appiontment up so you get it sooner rather than later. You could try ringing your onc secretary to push for an appiontment this sometimes helps speed things along. also maybe if you see you GP about how your feeling he can also chase up an appiontment too. Hopefully from that appiontment you will have some sort of plan which is (i think ) what you need right now. Keep on talking about your little one as aleast this is building a connection/bond with him/her.
Thinking of you Jo
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13/11/08 22:05
I dont know what to say to you sweetie, i hope they get in touch with you real soon, must be so awful for you, each day that goes by your baby is getting stronger and stronger. I guess all you can do is focus on that. Im really bad at this, but ill be thinking of you.
xx
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13/11/08 21:51
hello all.... sorry i have been feeling really low since monday so haven't been about much.... just had enough, really really had enough.....
i spoke to my cancer nurse earlier today and she asked if i had seen my onc, so i explained about the cleaner..lol... and told her about the scan on monday, i mentioned what the sonographer had said and that i had not heard from them and that it is driving me nut's, i said that as much as i am desperate to know so that i can deal with it, another part of me doesn't want to know, ignorance is bliss and all that..... but i can't make any plans where lo is concerned and i can't cope with all this any more... i ended up sobbing down the phone, she mentioned that my plastics doc had discussed my previous scan in march and that at that time they wern't immediately concerned about the nodules in my lung but were unsure of wether the patch on my liver would turn sinister.... she assured me that i should be hearing from my onc very soon..... she also said that if everything was fine then the sonographer would have said, but if there is something then she isn't allowed to tell me exacactly what her findings are, that has to come from my onc.... so who knows what is going on...????? not bloody me that is for sure....!!!!!!!!!!
19 weeks tomorrow.... lo's kicks are getting stronger every day, and the thought that if need be then baby would be here in 5-6 weeks is scarring the hell out of me, as much as each kick makes me smile i feel that i have no bond with my bump at all, i felt the same when i had evie but not this bad.... i darden't let myself have any connection with lo cause i am so scarred that something will go wrong....
i just don't know what to do, i am finding this all to much now.... i was going to go see my doc but i chickened out... i know she would understand 100% but what can she do..... not alot but listen.....???
i just wish i knew when this nightmare this emotional turmoil will end.... my heart is filled with sadness and uncertainity, when at almost 1/2 way to term i should be glowing, full of happy expectations and excitement about our baby, looking forward to finding out the sex and browsing baby shops and buying things...... not feeling like i am awaiting confirmation of when my life sentence will start....
sorry for letting this all emotion out on you ladies and gent (hooker)
alex and lil bear 18+6
xxxxxxxxxxxxx
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13/11/08 20:03
Hi Alex, so sorry to hear that you've been left in limbo AGAIN. I hope you get an appointment soon and get told that it is ok to wait a bit longer for treatment. Take care of yourself and bear. Lots of love Claire xxxx
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13/11/08 19:55
Alex I've just found this thread again, I'm sorry they didn't give you any answers but at least your getting nearer to little bear being safe.
I think you have more courage than anyone I know and if thats anything to go by you and the lo will be fine (if only it worked that way).
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10/11/08 18:50
well alex u know my problems n its possible well probable i will hav a section netime between 36 n 38 wks as bubba will hav 2 b in SCBU 2 b weaned off the codine n i reckon that ull get there only 6wks or so b4 me!!! k ur not allowed 2 cheat by 2 much, but if the diagnosis was so severe she would hav had u an appointment arranged wiv ur onc b4 u left the hospital, or at least thats wot i believe.
k oompa has told me lil bear is a fighter just like his/her mummy n will b ok
xxxxxxxxx jess + oompa 17+6
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10/11/08 17:57
thanks all... when i had the 1st scan 18mths ago, she told me everything was fine, in march she told me there was nothing of immediate concern and this time it was nothing alarmingly devastating/drastic..... each time it gets worse..... they have never before questioned how soon my next app was, i suppose at the end of the day she isn't allowed to say more, like the dressings nurse who wouldn't tell me the results of the biopsy....
i am now hoping that what ever it is she meant that they will hold off on any treatment tests etc as long as poss.... the sooner i see/hear from my onc the sooner i will know..... but the longer they leave it the better chance lo will have.... to be honest i'd rather go hide in cuckoo land for 20 wks....
at the end of the day i know the news wont be hunky dorey......
i wonder how long it will be till i find out.....???????
xxxxxxxxxxxx
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10/11/08 16:46
oh alex hunni as the others hav said no news is gd news n by the time u see ur onc ull b a bit closer 2 safe in regards 2 the bubba
i know its not the answers u were wantin but if its nothin drasic thats gotta b gd in a way???
n u dont hav 2 b strong all the time, let it out it may help a bit n im sure ur daughter will b there???? as well as dp
big (((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))) 2 u n lil bear
xx jess n paul + oompa 17+6
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10/11/08 16:28
I am so sorry they still couldn't tell you anything you are in my thoughts and I hope you get some much deserved positive news soon.
All my love to you and Little Bear
Ann Marie xxxx
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10/11/08 16:14
sorry u didnt get any answers today hun. at least u wil be bit closer to lo being safe and past a danger zone.
hope u get sum news soon xx
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10/11/08 15:55
alex, sorry to hear thats theres no news but dont you think if there was something wrong they would want to act sooner rather than later.........than wasting time waiting for you to recieve an appointment in the post?
Anyway just thought........Alex your doing soooo well hunni keep strong and look after yourself and your little bear
all my love and hugs
Kayla xxxxx
18+1 weeks
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10/11/08 15:24
hun it doesnt sound like anything really bad by what you have said but i am suprised she didnt tell you her findings. could you ring them back and ask what she ment??
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10/11/08 15:15
oh no........but then again if she said its not drastic that must mean something positive surely, or not as bad as it could be? so you just have to wait now for an appointment...jees what is with them, you would think in all that time they would have sorted one for you alreadyxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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10/11/08 14:41
thankyou for your kind words.... i just want to cry i can't take anymore, my strengh and courage is slipping away......
i now have to wait to hear from my onc.... all the sonographer could say was how soon are you seeing your oncologist again, there isn't anything alarmingly devestating/drastic.... (alarm bells started ringing) i said i have to wait for them to ring or send an app... i know there is something up as she would have said if all was ok.... wouldn't she...???? not ask how soon i am seeing my onc....
Aarrrghhhhhhhh....... I WANT TO KNOW............. our fate..... why do they have to keep me waiting and waiting..... the only good thing being is all their faffing about is letting lo get closer and closer to viable..... but i so want lo to get way past viable, it's my job to nurture and protect our baby......
i just wish some 1 would tell me 1 way or another.... so i can deal with it.....
i'll just sit and wait........ and wait............. and wait again........!!!!!
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10/11/08 10:25
alex just wanted to wish u lots of luck u really deserve sum positive results
hope all goes well
mandy xx
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10/11/08 10:10
Hi alex never posted on your thread before as didnt know what to say.
I wish you all the luck in the world for today and im praying you get the news you and everyone else has been praying for.
Sam, 19wks 2day with a PINK bump xx
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10/11/08 09:26
Alex, best of luck for today hope everything goes as you want it to and you get the answers your hoping for...........all the luck in world hunni, will be thinking about you and your little bear
hi ladies... i am worried sick, 3 days ago i started spotting first brown then pink then red. i always go by how i feel and i've still got sickness extreme tiredness and all but after 6 mc/mmc's i am worried... my gp has arranged a scan for me tomorrow, i sure hope all is well as we go away on sat..... atleast i'll know if hubby's dream came true......!!!!!
to top it off i had an app with my plastic surgeon this morning, to check my scar from the malignannt melanoma i had removed, and my lymph nodes in my groin an knee.... well all is not good....!!!!! i mentioned to him that a lump had appeared on the scarred area.... he looked at it and felt it and explained that it is exactly the sort of lump that they look for, and that it needs to be whipped of as soon as, they've booked me in for the 5th.... so they can biopsy it....
i feel like lightening has struck 2x... i was between 6-7 wks last pg when the skin clinic doctor took 1 look at my mole and told me it was coming off asap as without a doubt it was cancerous, which the biopsy confirmed...
i am scarred witless.... hubby keeps saying it will be fine... but that's what he said last time..... i know i should try to be positive, but i've been waiting 2yrs for the big C to rear it's ugly head, as they've told me that i am high risk of it spreading......
how can i relax and enjoy my holiday...????