Oh, don't get me wrong - I've told her how I feel and I haven't or won't be going on at her to quit, I know she's getting it from her family too.  She does wants to stop smoking but unless she mentions it again I think I'll remain tight-lipped and not say a word about it.  It really does irritate me but I know we'll have completely different parenting styles so there's no point getting myself stressed about this.  Thanks you guys :-)

http://gosmokefree.nhs.uk/questions/smoking-and-pregnancy/?WT.mc_id=ilevel_search_08

Above is a link to the nhs site to provide information to pregnant women about the damaging effects of smoking.

If your friend doesnt want to give up then its either something you have to accept or decide the friendship is no longer for you. If you bombard her with facts (the same facts that appear on the front of her ciggy boxes), its only going to drive a wedge between you. The hardest thing as friends who are parents is to accept each others differences in their pregnancys and how they raise their children. But if you cant handle the strain then its better to cut ties now than later. Goodluck xxxx

p.s i used to smoke before i found out i was pregnant, as with my last pregnancy, but i always had my morning sickness as a preventative. Without that i think it would have been very difficult, and cutting down always helps, even changing a brand to a lighter ciggy. Remember its an addiction and not as black and white as it seems to be able to just stop.

hi there ladies just wanted to let u know i have manage to not smoke for nearly 2 weeks tom it has been very hard as i have been smoking since i was 14 and now 28 i am just finding i am sucking on alot of hard boil sweets lol when ever i fancy a smoke i just think of little bubs breathing in the smoke as well it is hard and all i can say is just support ur friend xxx

i would say dont go on to her too much as when someone nags you about giving up smoking you retaliate and smoke more!

since i found out i was pregnant, i knew i would give up smoking but its not something you can do overnight.

my partner kept nagging at me and we argued as he thought i could give up immediatly, it took me a few weeks to get to realise that i really wanted to give up smoking and i am now on the patches.

and i dont want to smoke at all, but when i tried to give up at the start of my pregnancy it was for my partner and i wasnt ready so please dont nag her or she wont want to give up, just be there for her when she gets stressed...ect

good luck! x

Hi GC from dif, i visited my consultant yesterday and asked her about using patches whilst pregnant as i have been trying to stop since i found out i was pregnant, i was told it is safer to use patches then smoke during pregnancy as the baby is not getting all the chemicals you would be inhaling through cigarettes. My doctor and midwife would not give me a straight answer from day 1, so i was so pleased yesterday when i was told yes you can use patches, so woke up at 7.00am and put a patch on straight away and i am not even tempted to smoke as what the consultant said yesterday scared the hell out of me. I had 2 miscarriages this year and she said 1 of the factors could've been smoking, as when you smoke during pregnancy the placenta can end up with blood clots in which slows the amount of nutrients and blood being passed to your baby. I was horrified to think my baby would be struggling through because i was selfish enough to smoke. I have been nagged at by family members since i found out i was pregnant to stop smoking, so in a way i know how your friend feels as she might be getting it from all angles.  She might in time come round, even if she cut right down first, that would be a huge step.

Diane 15 weeks

I stopped smoking with all my pregnancies. This is my 3rd and it is VERY hard to give up but i would rather that than my baby be ill. It took me about a week in total cutting down from 20 odd a day to 3 then i just quit. Must add that i never ever smoked in the house or in my car as i didnt want my kids exposed to it.

Ther is nothing you can say or do to make her quit - she has to want to. My sil smoked all the way through her preg and still is. I totally disagree with it!! It annoys the life out of me, all these mums who smoke whlst preg but quit when baby is here!! wtf?? lol

Hopefully this time i wont go back to smoking when the baby is here!! Fingers crossed

I agree that the more you push her the more she will ignore you. I am/was a smoker and it is sooo hard. This is my 2nd pregnancy, with my 1st I did smoke at first (terrible mum i know...) but once bump appeared I was embaressed to be seen smoking and stopped it was th epush that I needed....until DS was a week old and Id not slept in over 48 hours and I had one and it was downhill from there. But even then I never smoked around DS.

This time Im so sick I dont want one, but I was gasping earlier and had 2 puffs but for me Im still proud of myself for just having that!!! xxx ps I had no support at all from gp or mw when attempting to quit last time!!

It's her decision to give up and when to do that, if she doesn't then thats her choice. I used to smoke before I got pregnant with my first and it wasn't easy (until the Morning sickness kicked in, then I was too sick to smoke). The more you go on about it the more she'll smoke. xx

The more you push her the less likely she is to give up. I do not smoke myself. never have so i dont know what the addiction is like but my freinds do and family do and i have seen what they are like when trying to quit.  My freind used the paul mekenner book and it worked.

I am sure your friend needs all the help she can get with trying to quit smoking. I have never smoked, but i imagine it's the same as any other addiction. (not that i have had any)

I would explain to your friend as hard as it is to quit smoking, it isn't fair to make an unborn child smoke. She is damaging the baby's health as well as her own. Any effects she feels from smoking, her baby is going to feel more.

As i am sure she already knows smoking will damage her baby and can cause all sorts of complications.

You are being a good friend by trying to help her quit.

Rachel x x

I don't think you need to tell her anything, I'm sure she already knows.  But a bit of advice, the more you push her to stop the more likely she is to resist you.  You may have a better result if you back off.  I know you care about her and her child, but it really isn't your problem.

Hey ladies, after some advice - a friend has just found out she's pregnant, she's due the same time as myself which is nice BUT she's a smoker and whilst she agrees that she needs to quit as far, as I can tell she hasn't made any effort to.  She was even smoking when I was on the phone to her and she knows exactly how I feel about it!  I told her to speak to a midwife and see if she can offer any support for quitting but she hasn't even got her 1st appointment yet.  Has anyone got any scary facts or websites that might put her off?  I feel really strongly about this but don't know how to help her understand that she needs to put baby first and quit!!  Thanks for any tips x