aw laura, that is really hard.  i think money isn't everything, i'm sure you could cope and family could help out even if it's just emotional support for you both. particularly as it's your first as well i can really understand needing and wanting your dh around, i would feel exactly the same. only question i have is would it be of a really big advantage after he's done the stint in afghanistan? if it could open loads of doors and really push him up the ladder then maybe it is worth thinking whether it could be worth it long term? i really hesitate saying that but think about your bean's future as well. it could be a really hard thing to endure short term which would be really beneficial long term. if it's uncertain though, then i think support for you is more important. hth in some small way x

hi there it's hot the end of the world tell him not to take the job once you get the big things like you pram cot clothes etc,, out of  he way thats it babies dont take up that much money my partner lost his job in december and cant go back to work because i have a lung condition and need him around most of the time but we only get incapacity benefit which is £200 a fortnight we already have a 15 month old little girl and are 9 weeks pregnant with our second little one plus we are getting married at the end of the month and need £400 for that so if we cam do it so can you!! why dont you ask family and friends to get you things like your cot nappies or clothes for the baby for presents instead of bringing you chocolates and flowers in hospitla plus christmas is comeing andd you could always suggest they get you some baby things for christmas hope this helps and i know what your going through try  not too worry too much injoy being pregnant for now alos dont forget you get a sure start maternity grant ( which you dont have to pay back) when you are 27 weeks if you dont get it straight away try again you will get it and that does help!!!

Right bit of waffle.....

We are skint, my dh however has just been offered an extremely well paid job to start after the new year, great you might think, but its in Afghanistan working for a Canadian company. He went for it ages ago before we got pg and they said he's too young, ( he's 22) but now they want him, he would go for 3 months at a time, then come home for 4 weeks. I dont know how i'd cope with out him, he wouldn't be here for my final months of pregnancy, he may even miss the birth!! Got myself into a right state over it last night. We really really need the money, now more than ever, but money isn't everything is it? So dont know what to do, i've got a really supportive family that i know would really help me out. But i cant imagine doing it without my dh, its breaks my heart. Anyone else been in a similar situation or even single parents which is effectively what i'd be for 9 months of the year?? Sorry for going on!!

Laura 9 weeks today