i had the sam with feeling guilty that my little girl wont have as much attention she is 10 months and im 11 weeks but it will be better for her because my dp and i was watching her playing on her own and it seemed so sad even though she was happy playing thats when we decided to have another cos she will have someone to play with.just give ur lo as much 1 on 1 as possible hth x

aw! hun! i feel for you i really do.  i posted on here a while back about how my mum behaved towards me.  my dd is 3 & my mum spoils her rotten, when i told her about this baby, she was horrible to me & said evie would be pushed out!!  she 3 for goodness sake & has lots of attention & always will!  there will always be someone with something nasty to say & your friend is an idiot to treat you like that!!! there is no way anyone has the right to make you feel bad about adding to your already beautiful family! i'm sure you'll do your damnedest to make sure your little one has all the attention she needs, it might be a little bit hard at first, but being closer in age, they'll most probably enjoy each other's company in the end. 

as for you hubby, sounds like my partner, he is a total workaholic & it's p***es me off that work comes first.  just had a row with him on the phone as the hospital want me to go in for a scan on friday, his works said it's fine for him to have the morning off, but he hates taking time off.  he missed an important scan with our dd, i was told she could be deformed & had to be given an emergency scan.  i sat at the hospital waiting for him to turn up & ended up going in on my own!! was crying my eyes out, luckily she was fine. df did an extra job at work which is why he didn't turn up in time!! i've never let him forget it & certainly isn't gonna start doing it with this baby!  sorry my post has turned into a rant too!!!!  look after yourself hun & like one of the other messages said, "kick your friend to the kerb" she should keep her nose out of your business!!!

keeley 9+4 xxx

Id just like to add my support to you,its a shame that your friends & family are maybe not giving you enough support so that you feel you need to look for it on here with people you dont know,although sometimes its easier to open up to "faceless" people hence why The Samaritans came about!

Anybody living your life in your position right now would be a big bundle of hormones,emotions & mess!!Just dont feel guilty about your little 5 month old,please dont.You have months & months to spend with her before a new baby arrives & the love & bond that you will all share as a family & siblings will be far longer lasting than any early one on one time with Mum that she probably wont even remember!!Even when the new arrival comes you can still make time to spend with each child seperately if thats what you want.Its unavoidanle that those of us who choose to have children close together (i know this one was a suprise for you) have to come to terms with the fact that any subsequent babies will never have the same type of one on one early care as that first born did.But just because its different & there is less of you to spread around it dosnt make the care you give any worse,just different.

Just bumping to see how you are feeling hun.

Hope you are ok, try not to worry too much.

Lisa XX

thanks for all your replies. its much appreciated. im not much better this morning, welling up at the drop of a hat. i look at scarlett (5 months) and feel so guilty that she wont have any 1 on 1 time that sophie had. feel like im letting her down.

i hate feeling like this because as ive said, i so strong usually and never a wreck like this. think i need a good slap lol.

thanks again xxxx

hi hun,

my dp is exactley the same. i mc'd in aug and it totally changed him. he has refused to acknowledge this pregnancy and ive had 2 bleeds now and he has refused to come to the hospital with me because of work, the last time i found out im having twins and he wasnt there to see them and its his own fault.

its only natral to worry about mc and bleeding but it doesnt always mean bad news, and your quite far on now so im sure you'll be fine.

as for a friend calling you names because your pregnant again some friend. i think its loveley having babies close together they'll be great company for each other. im gonna have 3 under 2 years.

best of luck with your pregnancy and im sure your dp will come round he's just scared to get attached again.

suzanne 7+4 with twins

i agree,, it sounds like your oh is scared just like you. Men arent really very good at showing weakness or emotion.

As for the friend,, what kind of friend is that???

Honestly dont ever bother with her again!

Keep your chin up luv,, theres a lot of supportive women in here and they'll listen! So you rant as much as you feel you need to, weve all done it at some point,, thats why were here,, to support because we understand. xx

Hi hun

my hubby reacted very cold when I told him about this pg. We lost  a lo on New Years Day this year and he was just trying to protect himself from hurt. I know your hubby's reaction hurt you as I was very hurt. He's only just starting to get a little excited but he has still got this big wall all around him. As to your friend ... well I'm sorry but words just fail me. She is not worth your friendship or your tears sweetheart (((HUGS))). If you ever need someone to talk to we're always here to lend an ear or a shoulder sweetheart. Now hold that head high and try to enjoy your pg (I know easier said than done).

Lots of love and (((HUGS))) coming your way.

Vanessa xxx

Sweetheart, your emotions are understandable, the op said the hospital probably wouldn't see you, but being 9 weeks already, they would. They would have to for obvious reasons. Your hubby is probably worried, and by taking this stance is more than likely protecting himself from possible hurt.

I have been where you are, and know the fears you carry from day to day. But please try and be strong and positive, if you get really down talk to your mw, she will understand. And, if you don't want to talk to your mw, then we will be here for you. As for your so called friend, she isn't worthy of your tears.

Good luck hun

Lisa XX

ok this is going to sound harsh (in this part at least!!!) but if you do start to bleed, i'd be doubtful a hospital would even take you in, doctors are reluctant to even give out early scans til you're past 8 wks so don't think hosp would be necessary, maybe thats what your dh thought when you said that? as for the 'friend' who said that to you, I hope you gonna kick them to the kerb! some friend!! xxxxxx

i only joined dim may today and need to rant already!!

i found out today im 9 weeks pregnant. total shock as i already have a 5 month old daughter (dim0 and a 3 year old daughter. i also have alot of problems, PCOS, DUB and Endometriosis so been on alot of medication. im due a full abdominal hysterectomy in february. we've been using protection etc but somehow this little bean is a miracle!! ive had 7 losses, my last one being my son max who we lost 27 weeks in to the pregnancy in january last year.

told my husband tonight that if i start bleeding he has to come straight home from work and take me to the ospital, just in case its another miscarriage. he got funny and said no, his jobs important. so i told him i think theyd understand as its your childs life. he really wants the baby and is happy but im so shocked at his response to that i just started crying so he left the room. i know im an emotional wreck at the moment and i have so much going through my mind, especially guilt, but i just feel like he's not the family man i thought he was.

i really need some friends on this board. i didnt post alot on dim08 but want to now. all my friends have taken this pregnancy really well but one told me im a stupid f***ing b***h and basically just gave me abuse. even called me a bad mum as my youngest wont get enough attention now.

someone please help me cos right now i dont know what to do, me heads all over the place and i feel like i wanna go out and not come back. im normally such a strong person so this is just not me