Aw hun...it really sounds like you've been through the mill recently, and all this with very little sleep...you poor thing.  Please don't worry about not checking in on me.  Just take care of yourselves hunni.  Sending you huge (((((((HUGS)))))))

Em xx

thanks girls i know best thing would be to ask someone to take duncan for the night and let us catch up on sleep but not sure about leaving him with anyone just yet

xx

Hang in there Claire, it really does get easier, I promise.  I remember it all so well with ds 4 years ago, feeling like there is no light at the end of the tunnel.

(((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))

awww babes - why didnt you say you had a bad morning aswell - instead of just listeaning to me ramble earlier!

men hey? - i wish we were closer than a few hundred miles - think we could of just left the ment o it for a few hours and gone to the pub or something for a meal and chill out session - baby free!!!!

well, all i can offer is a MASSIVE CYBER HUG. and hope you feel better soon - both claire and kells. xxx

BIIIIIIIIGGGGGGGG HUUUUUUGGGGSSSSSS Claire. Sorry thats all i can say. Things will get easier as he gets older.

xx

aw hun, you're lucky to have a routine - we are not even close to a routine & bethany is 8 weeks now! She has been really grizzly the last couple of days & really clingy & had a rash all over her so took her to the dr today & they said she is fine just a "little under the weather" andy & kayla both have colds so are as much use as chocolate teapots!!

I have a really bad back & have been feeling really unwell in the evenings while feeding so I have been trying to give her a bottle for her early evening feed but she is not interested in the slightest!

I am sure Ian just didnt want to bring up the argument again so you were not upset. I think we all have our up & down days it was only a week or so ago I was on here moaning I am sure you will feel better soon. big hugs & squishes for you all

xxx

sorry girls just need a little rant, not sure why i feel so emotional could be i am over tired and thinking alot about Benjamin just now espcially as it is awareness week, i have more or less been awake since 4am, Duncan dosen't normally sleep during the day he cat naps, usually 30 mins or less, but at night he is normally very good and gets up once or twice so ian agreed to do all the night feeds since i have to basically try and entertain the baby all day, he is now 6 weeks and nothing keeps his attention for long. anyway last night or should i say this morning he was rather restless and would not settle, i could hear ian getting stressed and eventually just before 4 am i heard a huge bang, now i know ian would never ever hurt the baby, but sometimes he gets so frustrated that things get launched this morning it was the bottle of milk, so i got up stormed through and yelled at ian to go to bed,

anyway after 30 mins i had duncan asleep and in his cot, he woke up 30 mins later and by this time ian had calmed down enough and got up managed to settle him again, but i couldn't get back into a proper sleep,

i have spent today visiting my nana who has just been put in a nursing home as she needs 24hr nursing care, since she has major dimentia and has had a minor stroke which has damaged her left hand, so i was watching her trying to wipe her mouth with a tissue dropping the tissue and not realising.  my auntie who was with me was showing all the women duncan, and going on about how it has been 3 years waiting, well it has actually been 4 i lost Benjamin 4 years ago and ttc since took 4 years for me to fall pg again,

ian comes home from work acting like nothing happened this morning, duncan is asleep in his car seat as we were not long home from nursing home, so we have tea and ian runs me a bath, i plan on relaxing at least till duncan woke up, cos then duncan and ian would go in the bath, then ian would feed him and put him to bed it is his routine, ian only goes and picks duncan out his car seat and wakes him which means my soak in the bath is out, if we feed him now his routine will be mucked up, ian couldn't understand what the problem was, and keeps going on about how he owes us for getting stressed this morning, he thinks he could feed him now then when i got out the bath after a soak he could bath him and feed him again, i had to explain the baby might not be hungry and wouldn't eat, so now we have all been bathed and duncan is being fed by ian as usual hopeing that fact that ian gave him a couple of ounces before bathing him won't knock out his routine too much otherwise i'll have another restless night,i wish i could just tell ian to deal with it but too much stress causes him to have siezures, i would take over night feeds and leave tomorrow for him but he is working all day

so now i want to cry also think that i am due my first period soon which isn't helping my mood, also like i said it is babyloss awareness so have been thinking about benjamin

sorry just needed to rant and get it all out.

xxxx