i dont think she wants him back, she does have a bloke of her own, but im thinking maybe shes getting insecure now about my oh having a new baby and her not being as big apart in his life as he did really love her and wanted her back until he met me.

shes being really unfair on me though, and oh has been good about it and he obviously feels in an awkward situation about it. but she goes out and does things with the new fella and their daughter same as we do and i dont see why they should have to go out "as a family" when they arequite clearly not anymore!!!

her dads doing ok i think, hes a lovely bloke and i wish him the best but she seems to be really manipulative and ive never seen this side of her before!!

oh i dont bloody know!!!

thanks for all replies though, helps to know im not the only one in a situation alike this.

xxxx

Sounds like you've been thru it too Sian.  My OH was married before but they didn't have children (which I'm selfishly pleased about as it is a big tie to an ex).  She had an affair 5 weeks into his training as a Police Officer, great timing and so so supportive of his new career.  He took a day out of training to put house on market and start divorce proceedings (he's not one for giving 2nd chances).  When things didnt work out with her new man who was married with 3 kids she begged him to come back but OH was having none of it.  He was a bit of a wreck when I met him and it took a while for him to bring down the barriers and trust me but 3.5 years later we're newly married with a baby due in 4 weeks and life couldn't be better. He says he's never been happier. She occasionally texts him or rings him to see how he's doing and he's always polite but she's no threat and even asks after me and baby so I guess I feel quite lucky.  The main thing is girls that your OHs are with you now and thats whats important.  Good luck with your LOs xx

She is being totally unreasonable to expect that my dh has an ex they have a son together split up when he was 1 my dh has always supported his son and provided everything he needs and we have him weekends plus i look after him in hols but would never expect his ex 2 even ask 2 have days out with just dh thats wrong and i would be wondering what her motives are.

I think some exes just enjoy being difficult hun! My oh's ex was fine when we first started going out with eachother, then accused him of shacking up with a 17 year old (I was 23 at the time) and the terrible impact it would have on his son. Then she demanded to come and see our flat as she wanted to check it was of an acceptable standard for her son to stay in (unlucky for her it is a new build apartment on the beach as opposed to her poxy dump in the Bronx). Once she had got that out her system, she then got in touch with the CSA to say we didn't pay her enough money (they said actually they are overpaying by £120 a month) so she went quiet for a bit. Then when we got engaged, she moved a bloke into her flat, and when I got pregnant she started wearing her old engagement ring and wedding ring (from MY oh) when we went to pick his boy up. She's answered the door to him in her underwear or wrapped in a towel and 'invited him in' while i've been waiting in the car- you name it, she's tried it! I feel sorry for her new boyfriend as she isn't even subtle about it- and of course little man, who now sees ME as the reason mummy and daddy don't live together ( even though they had been divorced 2 years before I met him!) She doesn't even speak to me, unless its because she wants something- which suits me fine!

Rise above it hun, she may say it's because of her dad, but you are right- she gave up her 'family' time when they broke up xx

Hi Kiz, I don't think you're being unreasonable.  You didn't say whether her father had recovered from his heart attack but if so she should be concentrating her efforts on him.  If not, then thats very sad for her but I don't understand her reasoning behind wanting to spend time with your OH, surely she has friends and family she can go to for .  I wouldn't take it out on him though as it sounds like he hasn't agreed to her requests but you should tell him how it makes you feel..nicely.  I think he understands how you feel anyway from what you say.  Continue to offer your support by having his daughter more but don't let him give in.  I can't see why she thinks its right to expect that of him when he has you and your unborn baby in his life now...does she want him back? xx

oh's ex's dad (sorry if makes no sense!) had a heart attack, which we've both been really suupportive to her about,  and have offered to have their daughter more so she can go see him etc. but yesterday she text my oh and said something along the lines of wanting to do family stuff just her, my oh and their daughter as her dads heart attack has made her realise some stuff.

I'm sorry but surely their family time ran out the day those two split up and even more when i fell pregnant?????? Im not a jealous person and have always got on well with oh's ex and i adore their daughter but am i being ignorant to expect them not to go on days out as a family when infact they aren't a family and my oh has started a new (cant think of a better word, although this does infact include his daughter) family now?? my oh has said no anyway but his reasoning is that it will confuse the daughter. i know thats a big reason but does she have absolutely (sp) no respect for me or my unborn son that she wants to go on days out with my oh.

i'm really confused and spent all last ngiht and this morning thinking about it and dont want to turn it into a big deal by kicking off about it but then at same time thinking about kicking off so oh knows how much its annoyed me! am fuming now and getting myself even more wound up by it!!!

advice anyone please???

Kiz 34+5 xxxxxxxxxxxxx