This is so for me today!

Why the hell did I bother putting so much effort in over the holidays with the kids with their swimming?  DS has gone from doing 25 metres to doing 100m comfortably, throwing himself in the deep end, diving properly and is now totally water confident. 

Taught dd (4) to swim, she's gone from armbands to doing 10m unaided! 

DD has started having hissy fits when we go, doesn't believe she can do it, being stubborn as hell, having tantrums, speaking to me vile etc

This weekend it's x-h weekend to have them, but I kept  them later, fed them, took them swimming so they could show him what they could do so he will start taking them - he just can't be bothered and it's getting harder and harder for me.

Anyway, dd gets  to the poolside, sits on the side refuses to so much as get her toes wet.  Sent her out to x-h to get changed (she'd been warned play me up again and I won't take her again).  DS didn't even bother doing 20m.  Spent most of his night on a body board float  that was in the pool and refused  to do anything else.  Told him if he didn't perform, daddy wouldn't take him. He refused. 

Am still steaming angry.  I put so much effort in and  they promised me the earth before we went and delivered nothing.  Won't take them again.

The so called oh is now giving me grief over it (any excuse to have a go about my kids).  The talking to (or should I say lecturing me) whilst he was walking to the pub.  Oh,  that will be the Friday night he will never spend with me anymore as going out is more important.  Telling me, before I know it baby will be here and I'll be out running again.  Like how?!  I can't run with the pushchair until it's bigger and I get to see him on a Wednesday, Thursday (but alternate Thursdays we take his mum shopping - oh the excitement) then when I have the kids at the weekend, he has his dd for a few hours in the afternoon so doesn't see me at all on those days despite dropping her off at 6pm!  Then Monday he doesn't see me, Tuesday is his dd's night again. 

I'm just sick of being stuck in at his beck and call yet he písses off down the pub every friday and never takes me anymore.  He thinks I'm joking when I say if he goes out on Friday, when baby is over 6 weeks old and taking the odd bottle, I'll be out and he can look after it.

Just feeling thoroughly down with my kids and stupid  that I put up with the oh.  He kicked me out lock stock and barrell in January but we ended up seeing each other again which is when I fell pregnant.  If I'm honest, if it wasn't for beanie, we would not be together, but he's using it as control over me (and I'm stupid because I divorced the control freak of a husband).

Why do I bother getting up in the morning.  Why do I take it.  Grrrrr!  Guess Im' stupider than I look

why did I bother getting out  of bed today!

I  get the house spotless for dp comming home and within one hour it is all a mess stays that way until monday when i do it all again so today i am leaving it for him to do and see if he comments.

why the foooooooook did i think inserting a suppository by myself was a good idea?

im gonna add an all..

I say it all the time tho i dunno what to expect as its obv gonna happen and i cant really stop it!... welllll

why do i bother tidying this damn flat.. putting toys away none stop.. cleaning dog hairs off things.. hoovering.. only to have to do it again a couple of hours later!

i swear my hoover i gonna bust soon.. it gets more action then i do sex!!!

for all din dollys that want to get summat off their chest

ill start

why the foook did i bother cleaning the bathroom yest as oh come home had a bath n now theres a black rim of oil round bath and dd must av used 1/2 tube of toothpaste and wiped it round the sink arrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggg