My man who is 31 this year has been told that he should be loosing his sex drive! A few of his mates are younger and were winding him up.  He is just as rampant now if not more than before I has out two children, he just says that my body now is much more sexy and beautiful than ever. Lol, not sure how much I beleive that though. The poor bloke (POOR ME) still has the odd wet dream now and again. (maye he needs to get a few extra 'fiddles' in!)

He has a sneaky play, usually I tell him to go and have a shower and have one in there as to me he is just having a shower and I can go about my business. This profitable for me/us in two ways..

1. He is nice and clean afterwards.

2. He lasts much longer later on when I pounce on him.

I would ease up on him and treat him like a man and not a naughty schoolboy behing the bike sheds.

I did/do it from time to time. I would have never known how to teach my man how to please me if I didn't know what I liked in the first place. And visa versa

I hope I don't come across as being harsh as I just want to help.

I was in this position a few years back before having our children and i thought is was because I wasn't satisfying him, but I now know he is just a h orny bloke who needs some extra pleasure now and again. I'd much prefer him upstairs at home feeling comfortable, than me making him feel bad and sneaking about doing it.

It also helps to relax him if he is feeling a little highly strung. If you think he seems a little tense, sort him out yourself. If you are not in the mood for sex, just blow him. Lol. If it is early evening he might even have a little nap/rest his eyes and leave the telly free for you for a bit.

Hop that helps.

i take the veiw of that no matter what you wont stop him from doing it, and i think if you dont like him doing it  then it should have been sorted out before you had children, got married etc because its a silly thing to be arguing over......

soz tht first line was meant to say i masturbate everyday if i dont have sex on the next post. girls u should always play or have sex and u will not feel stressed again. i have it 4 times a week just fit n round the baby they have to sleep sometimes

i am a 24 year old girl my daughter was born on 12th feb and i still masturbate everyday i dont have sex to porn most days of the internet. i always find the time i have a very high sex drive and sometimes my husband is too tired unfortunately so i take care of things myself! i love porn it really turns me on. i i had sex after 2 and a half weeks and was having sex 5 hours b4 my contractions started. i have always been like this and need orgasms to stop myself getting frustrated and woundup. if i dont cum at least once a day i feel moody it is the best stress reliever going. no matter how much my daughter crys or anything stressful hapens if i play or have sex i am always chilled out. try it. i also think more than 25% of women masturbate think of all the vibrators sold. i have been to many ann sumers parties and have never met a girl that doesnt masturbate. its normal

Hi,

  I'm in agreement, all men do it. Mine had me in stitches the other day as i'd just put ds2 back to bed after his bottle about 1am. When I happened to notice my dh who was still fast asleep having a `play`. Tis true that it's on there minds quite often and as ds2 is only 8weeks old, I'm often a little tired to join him so if he's happy then i'd rather him do this than go with someone else. Tis the better of the two but Yes he could be a little more discreet xx

hi im also a girly n i guess i fall into the 25% of women that do it (quite shocked the figure is that low) just because ur man looks at porn and masterbates does not mean that he is playin away or even considering it! i think that it is just an itch that needs to be scratched, i know my partner does it and he knows i do i really wouldnt worry about it, at the end of the day he has an emotional connection with u that is far greater than the physical connection to porn etc u wont stop him from doing it and if u try i think that u will only push him away, as others have said why dont u join him or even try it urself (when hes out of course) you might be pleasantly surprised x

Sorry to crash - i'm a girly, BUT - my oh plays with himself all the time, its normal isn't it? He always has it in his hand, or if i'm about i'll join in and play too coz i know what you mean, you dont want to be left out, so - tell him its ok, relax, join in and have a play. Its fun, enjoy. xx

My husband read this thread and nearly fell over laughing.

First, taking an hour on the toilet is disgusting in his opinion. Unless you mean "three S's" - S..., shower and shave. That's normal. But if you mean sitting on the toiler, my husband agrees that that is gross, as he should be finished and wiped. My dh can't stand people that take newspapers etc. to the toilet. He thinks toilets are for two things only .. and vomiting in too obviously.

As for the whole masturbation thing, well he said quite simply "grow up woman", I know that's a little forceful - (it's my dh opinion so DON'T shoot the messenger - poor little me), but he says that a man who DOESN'T masturbate at least every now and again isn't normal and virtually all doctors and psychiatrists agree.

He (my dh) said (and he's trained in evolutionary biology to a reasonable level) - that men being "extra horny" is absolutely normal and is EXACTLY the same biological response as women wanting to have many babies.

If a man wants to sleep around (not very ethically correct) but only thinks about it and doesn't actually do it; or looks at porn,  then his body is just doing the same thing as your body when it sees a cute ickle baby and wants to have children.

A man has hormonal signals telling him to breed as much as possible in the same way as you want to breed and have children. Don't scorn him, regardless of what religious zealots or feminists say, its the exact same thing going on in his body. We may be civilsed (???) but we're just animals at the end of the day.

To be fair though, my husband says that your man is a little daft for letting you catch him in the act. I know my dh does it, he's told me, and I may have my suspicions when he has or is likely to, but I've never caught him in the act. your man just needs to learn to be discreet and not "flip it out in front of eastenders" - my dh's words again, not mine.

My dh reckons that if you have a go at him, then he'll feel shameful and embarressed about it and is more likely to cheat on you or at lease damage your relationship than if you accept that men do it.

Besides, if you read the statistics, over 25% of women of child bearing age do it themselves, usually when the husband is at work etc. So I think you need to calm down and not worry. If he didn't masturbate or look at porn THEN I'd start to worry - 'cos that COULD (please note could NOT is) mean he's getting enough "quality time" elsewhere to not need to get his release manually.

My husband says simply that the man who doesn't masurbate is either ... "in a coma, has no genitals, too old to have that urge, getting more than his fair share, on drugs or dead......"

Hope that clears it up (with help from my rather blunt husband)

Lots of guys do this its natural............ plus your telling me you've never thought about anyone else other than dp during, forplay, sex or masturbation?????  Its not a crime................ like the guy says underneqath communication is the key, be open and be honest!!!!! 

Not to be to crude but if any bloke say's he does'nt do it their not being honest my wife accepts that i do it from time to time. Perhaps you should offer to join him you might find that you enjoy it as much as he does? or at least accept that just because he is doing it does not mean he does'nt find you desirable. At the end of the day there is nothing wrong with it.

Why do you get the hump about it?

Why not join in and find out what gets him going and have an open approach to it, rather than be a closed door and have a go at him about it.

its pretty obvious that there is something that gets him going, but the sooner you accept that most men do have the odd 'play' the sooner you may find it more acceptable really.

Masturbation isn't a crime, and shouldn't be dealt with as wrong in my opinion.

Sorry if it sounds harsh, but if you communicated better and be more open about sex, it may help more.

hi ive been with my partner 4 yrs married for 8 mths.. would just like to no if its normal for men to take up to an hour on the loo? i think its mad and not normal but what do you say? and r you all addicteed to porn?? i wonder what he finds to do in there i have court him out in the past looking at porn on his mobile and not the normal stuff either, so i kinda have the feeling that its that hes doin.. but he has excuses all the time, and the other day i went up to check on our son in bed and he was like oh cr ap rushing about putting his thing away and then when i came downstairs  he  had his back to me and was sorting his self out down there he did seem to be abit larger than usual so i think he was playing with it in the bathroom and i came and interupted.. lol dont want to sound narkey but i dont like him doin what he does i have told him and we have argued about it in the past as it makes me feel im not enough for him as i have put weight on since our son and now carrying our new baby boy. he tells me nice things and that but it really makes me feel uncomfortable and like i sed not enough for him.. i dont think he'll ever stop..