They never see that their hurting their daughter they are too involved with making their exs life as much hell as possible to see it! We have been together 4 years and to be honest its not much easier, we are still having to court, theyve tried mediation but she seems to think shes the best mother on the earth so it never works because my dp doesnt agree with how she fetches her up shes 4 and noly just out of nappies during day but still has them on a night, she has no bedtime goes when her mum goes, still sleeps in the same bed as her and thats only the start of it! I really dnt know how they can do it to their children cos hand on my heart i would never do it to mine. She really loves her dad and shes cried before because shes not been allowed to come and see us but shes not bothered its herself she thinks of! If u ever want to chat send me a mail or something im on here pretty much most of the time and have been through a lot with court cases etc so i know what ur going through and it will be really hard for your partner. Always here if u want to chat x Have u hear anything back from ss yet?

 

Hi, Thanks for your advise,without this sounding harsh it's nice too know others go through it as well, My partners ex sounds all to familiar to you partners ex.... she will go out of her way to hurt my partner and the only thing she has is their daughter..... I just hope she sees soon that it's her dauhter she is hurting.

xx

Hi i didnt want to not reply to this post as it seems your situation is close to ours. My partner hasnt been with his ex for 4 years but they have  a4 year old daughter together. He has supported her 100% although she says he didnt because she tried to push him away as much as she could so that the child wouldnt know hm as daddy. in the end enough was engough so we applied for court. We was given a contact order which stated she had to allow the child to stay with us every weekend. However her been the person she is thoguht she would stop contact and go agagint what the judge siad. We have been back to court over and over again in the last 4 years and each time she tries to make up a new excuse as to why she stops contact. When we first applied to the courts we went in for residency order due to her having no wehre to live etc but we also had proof shed sent him laods of txts stating it so it went against her and we was given an emergency residency order and the child wasnt allowed to return in her care until she was stable enough to have her back. That week she moved back to her mums so we had no choice but to send her back. Like i say weve been at the courts for 3 years and finally the judge has decided if she stops contact again he will go for a permanent residency order as its not fair to the child that she thinks she can do what she wants.

If you have good reasons for her to come and live with you i dont see why it shouldnt happen especially due to the reasons u explained in your first post. Contactin social services will also go in your favour as obviously you felt you had good reason to contact them. I hope they find something that can fetch the child to you if shes goign to ahve a better life there. We get so much trouble from his ex but we now have to just sit back and let her get on with it as long as we get contact, we hate the way she fetches her up but what else can we do!

Unfortunately social service get so many false allegations that they can't just take a child out of their home on every complaint. But they are normally very good and would have been able to pick up on things not said. just the way she acts around her mother etc.

Hi there, thanks for your advise. We have contacting Social Services and they are now investigating (although they have spoken to my DSD in the same house as her mother) I find it hard to belive she would open up about anything. We haven't seen her for a month now, god know's what she thinks of us or is being told by the mother.

Hopefully once it all goes to court we can have our say.

Thank you for replying.

Clara

Hi, the courts are changing their views on who should have custody and now generally look who would care for them better. You need to do one or both of these two things, get legal advice (more info at this site www.clsdirect.org.uk/) and/or speak to social services if his daughter is in danger now. Because court cases can take months, even years. and theres always the chance she does a runner, so i would get in contact with social service, the number should be on your local councils website. Hope everything works out

Hi there lads, Sorry to gate crash your forum.

Me and my DP are having huge problems with his ex and his 5 years old girl, I'll explain; we have been getting increasing worried about how my DP ex is treating thier daughter, she often tells us of how she is smacked (round the face) shouted at all the time etc etc the list goes on, she aslo suffers from an eating phobia/dissorder when at her mum's house (gag's while she eats) and wets the bed! none of this happens at ours which shows where the problem is,

more recently we went to collect her from as arranged only she had been taken out early and we were told by her mother we aren't having her........... anyway we have now decided to go for residency of my DSD and was wondering if anyone has gone through the same and won? how they managed it etc? you always seem to here that courts side with mumo matter what.

Thanks for your help

Clara

xx