Hi there, sorry to hear about your divorce. My advice is based on having gone through one about a decade ago - so it's reasonably up to date. Now, it's important in a divorce that you are not a martyr to yourself, and to make sure that you claim whatever in the joint belongings you are entitled to. Don't think that your ex will play fair - that never happens as soon as money starts to be involved. Another couple of things are important to note:

1. It *doesn't matter* who was at fault in a divorce, whether you played away, whether she did, or some other reason. All that creates is the grounds for divorce. Since you have been separated (living apart?) for 7 years, then your solicitor will tell you there are several options - mutual agreement, abandonment, unreasonable behaviour, or (depending on your circumstances) adultery. Splits of money have very little to do with the grounds for divorce.

2. It *does matter* if you have kids or not by your ex. That more or less determines the split of belongings - which includes house, car, money, pensions etc. No kids means 50/50, with kids means 66/33 (to whoever has the kids). But this depends on the case.

3. It *does matter* how long you were married. Although it varies by case, more or less the rules are if you're married for less than two years you can take out what you put in (i.e. a house that one partner brought to the relationship). Over seven years, and it's split 50/50. For example, if you worked full time and your wife of 10 years was a housewife, then she gets half.

How does this affect you? Well, you say that you left your wife the house. This forms part of the joint belongings of the marriage. If you want a divorce and can't afford it, then you can legitimately ask that you obtain costs from 'your' half of the joint belongings. Your solicitor will be able to advise you. Virtually all solicitors will give a free 30 minutes' consultation to begin with.

If you don't have kids with your ex, then you could consider a quickie DIY divorce. However, make sure you have a 'clean break' divorce, so that there can be no future claim on your property - e.g. on your pension. If you don't, you can *guarantee* that she will come after it eventually.

If you do have kids with your ex, then make sure you use a solicitor, and then make sure you get a sensible amount of cash out of the settlement at the start, so that you can afford to pay maintenance when she comes after you later. I know 5 men (including me) who tried to do the right thing by giving their ex the house, only to be screwed over for maintenance later. It will happen.

To summarise, divorces are nearly never quick or easy, and will cost a couple of grand typically. Hope that helps.

 Sorry to gatecrash the daddy pages (am bored!)

Have a rake around on the web - one of my colleagues got divorced last year and her ex downloaded the papers for about £50 they both signed them and sent them off somewhere and that was it. They had a pretty straightforward case so not sure how it works if circumstances are more complicated but worth a look?

i dont know then sorry mate i hope u can sort it or some1 else can give u some more advice about it, i wish you all the best for u and ur partner for next year and hope u can sort it and get wed.

Iasked that and I can pay in 3 installments that was the 1200 but I can't afford £400 a month. I could do with doing this soon as I would like to marry my partner next year

Hi

I was the same when i applied for mine but i was being under payed in work so i didnt earn enough so i was able to get legal aid which was lucky is there noway u can get it atall? i know they add up ur last wages and that and take it over a months average then they take it in to account of the percentage then see what u can get but i know my solicitor told me there is somthing u can get to make it cheaper but i cant think off my head what it was sorry, can u not ask them if u can pay it in installments over a period of time?

Hi guys I need some advice on divorce.

I've been seperated from my ex for over 7 years and need to get divorced. She was supposed to of sorted it as all I took was my clothes and TV and she had house and everything and my dog. I can't afford to pay for the divorce but I haven't got much choice I just wondered if anyone knew of a cheaper way of doing it as I've been quoted prices of £900-£1200.

Thanx Boing