What not to say to a mum - post preg
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- What not to say to a mum - post preg
5/7/08 23:21
5/7/08 23:18
i'm glad i started this thread all your comments have really made me laugh!
went to mil today who just loves to put my appearance down at the moment (i gave birth 5 weeks ago ffs) - walk in door - mil: "your looking really white you need to get out in the sun and get a tan" i smile but in my head thinking: yeah cause i have f***ing time to get a tan when i have a 5 week old baby to look after.
then dd starts to get hungry, mil is holding her and dd trys to latch on to her. mil: no mine are too small (can you not bf if you have small boobs then?!!! daft t**
- then she goes on to say that i am top heavy!!!!! i say dd is having trouble going a poo. mil: squeeze some soap up her bum wtf!!!.
i say - she didnt sleep well last night mil: put sugar on her dummy
seriously i could go on...............
5/7/08 22:38
this thread is brill....
my BF:
*after coming home from night shift at 6am and i ask him to take baby while i go toilet for a sec....."u dont know what its like to be up all night, do u yvonne?" (obviously i dont silly me, what was i thinking?)
*after holding baby for 5secs "yvonne take her, she wants u cos u have the boobs" (w t f??? she has jus ben on them for the past HOUR)
*"im not changing her nappy, i done it last time"(well duh yvonne, how dare u ask him 2 change it twice in a row???)
*"im going out for a smoke"....comes back in 2hours later...."oh shes still crying"
when i was in early stages of labour..."im tired, im going home 2 sleep an get something to eat...i hate hospitals!" (yeah cos i really enjoyed my stay at hospital, it was a bundle of laughs.....run along home darling....NOT!!!!!)
my mum:
*"let me hold her"..."errrm shes sleeping"...."i know, jus let me hold her"
*"whats wrong with her?" (hmmm let me jus consult my crystal ball)
*"mummys just giving u the dummy for an easy life"(wat is this supposed 2 mean????)
other people:
"is that your baby?"(no i just overate for 40+ weeks)
LOL.....when i remember more ill be sure to post
5/7/08 22:22
Is she good? Shes 8 weeks old what do you think? She does what an 8 week old baby should. Also, shes rolling her eyes, must have wind. Where on earth does that come from?
5/7/08 22:16
I LOVE the "can you imagine life without him/her" comments where one of you said "yes twice a day for the last 8 weeks" oh how I laughed - makes me feel better!!!!!!!!! (we love the LO obviously ahem....)
5/7/08 22:10
Took my DD out today when we were test-driving some cars. She's wearing pink pink pink from top to bottom. Car dealer comes up to us, looks at her, and says . . . . . . . Ah, bless, is it a boy or a girl?'
IT?? IT????? What more can I do to show she's a girl? Plaster her face in make-up and buy her some false tits??????? Grrrrrrrrrrr.
5/7/08 14:56
omg ive just been cryin laughing at all these thanks ladies i needed cheering up
5/7/08 13:09
oh shes BIG for her age...shes 4 months old and weighs 13.6
whats her name?....Jaycee...oh as in JC...erm no spelt JAYCEE
5/7/08 11:48
lmao!!
my bloke wakes when i feed Lacie at 4 and says- are you ok? yeah great i have to wake up to feed her, my nipples are like bullets as she has been hanging off them for the past eight weeks, but dont you worry darling just go back to sleep!
mil- could you imagine your life without her now? twice a week for the past 8 weeks! maybe next time i'll say actually i can, and maybe i'd get a decent nights sleep!
mil- 6 week- baby crying- thats a tired cry, shes fighting it. 7 week- baby crying same cry- oh shes hungry! eh? was the same cry as last week, and actually, you got it right the first time!
mil- ah shes crying put some sugar on her dummy!!!!
jeez, im glad i have selective hearing or i would be in court for murder i think!
5/7/08 10:35
poeple upstairs '' hes got a pair of lungs on him hasnt he...''
yeah so has your mrs at 3am when your doing the do!
5/7/08 10:29
Oh and my gran has a habit of bouncing my kids on her lap - and I mean bouncing about a foot on the air and their head wobbling. I had to tell her to stop of the social would have me done for shaken baby.....I had to tell her things are not done like that anymore......"it gets rid of wind" she said.....
5/7/08 10:26
I saw my neighbour 2 days after I came home & thinking I'd had a 9lb baby & that is nothing you can hide very well I though I looked good. she said "ooh your due this month aren't you!". WTF?! I said to here. "come with me" and took her to the moses basket. I say no more......
5/7/08 00:40
my mother came down for a week after ds was born to see him and also to (and i quote) ''help out''
she said '' you should sleep when he sleeps to keep your energy up''....
so i got him to sleep...now which of us do you think was taking a nap on the sofa!??? cheers mum thanks for your help
also during that same week i asked her boyf what time he was leaving the next day...he said ''i dunno what time you planning on cooking dinner?''
no freecking problem mate..i gave birth 3 days ago..had an epiosotmy and can barey bloody move but i will go out of my way to make you a three course slap up meal shall i...daft tw*t
5/7/08 00:37
should have tw*tted him one cheeky fecker
5/7/08 00:30
also Went to my photographer the other day to have pics of theo taken ( the guy did my wedding pics and maternity photos too) and he ACTUALLY says to me:
Photographer: By the looks of you now you would never get back into that wedding dress would you.
Seriously are you asking for me to kill you? do you want my money? Do you want to live? who says that to someone?
I have an 8 week old son what do you expect? you dont carry round a near on 8lb baby plus about 2 stone in fluid and be a skinny minne two days later.
HONESTLY
5/7/08 00:27
my mil: he's grumpy what should i do ( firstly he's 7 weeks old they dont just get 'grumpy' and secondly dont you have kids)
me: oh i think he's tired give him his dummy and he should drift off.
mil: doesnt look tired (wtf?) *puts dummy an inch away from his mouth* he doesnt want it, 'you dont want this diry thing do you?' no he doesnt want it.
(now i am a patient woman but 'dirty thing'????? i know not all ppl approve of dummies but *insert expletive* insult the thing that i have chosen to give my son to help him sleep)
me: he will take it but you have to put it in his mouth (thought this was obvious)
mil: *puts it in for half a second* nope he doesnt want it.
ok why f***ing ask me then.
me: ok i will give it to him later.
4/7/08 22:50
when on phone ''ok got to go hes crying cos hes hungry''.
''yeah i know i can hear him hes really upset bless him.....anyway...blah blah blah''
urmm hellooooooooooooooo
or
'' awww listen to him hes really goi ng for it..but before you go and tend to him let my two dd's and ds have a listen to him bless his heart ASHLEIGH, KATRINA,CHARLIE...COME HERE LISTEN TO THIS......YEAH OK BRUSH YOUR TEETH FIRST BUT THEN COME AND LISTEN''
wtf is that about:|
4/7/08 22:48
what did you call him??
bradley
ohhhhhhh thats unusual
(why not just say '' why would you call him that ffs'')
4/7/08 22:47
dp '' how can you be toired youve done feck all''...ohh no dear cos it was YOU that done the night shift and has looked after ds whos cried for 7 hours solid...dunno why IM tired?!
''ohhh did he keep you up all night- you look exhausted''......thanks last night was the first night hes slept through
put my son up on my chest to burp him when mil said '' even if i think your doing it wrong i wont say anything because your ITS mother''.................................WTF
''how are you coping'' is alive isnt he..so better than you obviously expected jusging by that question!
4/7/08 22:45
lmao ladies these are so true I have one when lo starts crying and they say awww what has mummy done bad mummy that pees me off just as your feeling low yourself and they say that.
Iits so nice to read these and know that we are not alone. I can only remember a few i switch off these days;
"Whats babys name?"
"Orlaith" emphasis on the O
" ooh Paula you dont hear that name anymore" Thats because its Orlaith grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Middle of night im sat on edge of bed feeding dh turns over strokes my back and asks me if theres anything he can do, erm yeah grow some bigger boobs so you can feed her.
Mil about dd1 shes behaving like that because shes jealous. No shes running around like a loon cos youve just filled her full of sugar.
For the first 6 weeks mil said everytime we saw her, "i new dd1 would behave like that, (nodding to herself with a stupid sort of smug grin) shes jealous, come to grandma your still my favourite." Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr and no she isnt the slightest bit jealous not even remotely bothered about dd2.