Lovely to hear you had a good afternoon x x x

awww, glad your afternoon went well x

Thanks guys

yesterday afternoon was so much more productive!

DS "helped" me with the housework and loved it. He also played in the kitchen whilst I sorted the food out  and I even had time to have a "proper" play with him before DH came home -

he's off at nannies today so that I can get more cleaning done ( not obsessed really!)

My dh plays wit ds more than I do -the reason being is I don't have time in the mornings with getting me and him ready. Then I drop him off at nannys and they play with him. Dh picks him and plays wit him until I get home. I then have to have dinner, iron, wash, clothes etc ready for next day and whatever housework. We can't do it all but I can see why everyone does feel guilty!

It looks like our dp/dh's play more with our kids becuase that's all they do - other than go out to work. My dp works full time and a lot of weekends, so the half hour he's home before she goes to bed, he just plays with her and she loves it.

We do play with them, previous poster said that getting them involved in helping us do things in their eyes is playing or interacting with us.

At the end of it all, we still need to get things done, it's a hard balance and to be honest, I've only just managed to get that balance right and dd is 18 months old. My house is looking pristine just as it used to before dd was here. It's hard to get settled and if you think about it, 18 months really isn't that long in the grand scheme of things ..we've had to first adapt to a new baby, our babies have grown into toddlers and we all need to adapt to them too ...

Think as an earlier poster said it is a Mummy's job to feel guilty.  I work full time fom home my Mum is an absolute god send as has DS in the mornings so I can get on with some work, I then continue in the evening when he is bed.  Have been having real guilt pangs lately that I don't spend enough time playing with him and then my Mum pointed out that putting the shopping in the fridge for me, playing with the dustpan and brush etc is playing in DS eyes, he is already more house trained than my DH - lol.  He will not play on his own though and wants to be with me all the time, again I have had guilt pangs that this is because I leave him with my Mum in the mornings.  Deep down I know this is madness as he loves spending time with my Mum.  Have noticed recently though that he is happy to play on his own and look at books etc when Daddy is looking after him - DH puts it down to the fact that he doesn't read the stories as good - lol.  Its hard work being a Mum, working, looking after the house etc but got to be the best job ever!

I think I must beat myself up alot over this and assumed it was just me so its great to see everyone else has these worries and gets the guilt!    I always think I should be playing with ds more and that we either go out too much or are indoors too much.  It also feels like dh plays with loads more than I would in a day cos I am getting jobs done whereas he leaves everything!    Its obviously a mummy thing and we shouldnt feel guilty.  I sometimes think of somewhere like Africa where the babies don't have all the luxuries of toys and sitting and playing, they have to get on with family life and the chores of getting food/water and thats just how it is and so its probably good for our babes to have to fit in round us and not play all the time x

Part of the job description of being a mother meant spending the rest of our lives feeling terrible guilt.

I'm very lucky, or selfish in that dd will play by herself for a good amount of time, we encouraged it since she was smaller, so in the morning whilst we took our turns to shower and I did my hair, we'd leave dd in her cot playing with her teddies. She has a great concentration span and i'm able to leave her to play on her own no problem.

I work part time, so every Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. So Saturday I try to get ALL the housework done, most weekends dp works so I still need to juggle dd into the housework, half the time I give her a little dustpan brush and let her sweep the hallway to 'help', or I time housework around her naps / lunch / snacks and then work quickly when she's busy.

We put her in a big bed a week ago, so I've put the stairgate on her bedroom door rather than at the top of the stairs, so now, instead of just putting her in her cot I close her in her bedroom so she can play. I've got used to her routine so I still put her upstairs at nap time, the last 2 days, she's spent about 30 minutes playing before going to sleep but that's cool because I've just managed to hoover the whole downstairs, wash up, tidy the kitchen etc.

I think all kids are different and I was blessed to have a baby who is just seriously laid back and jsut fits in with us perfectly. I have a bad feeling that my next baby (not trying at the moment!!) will not be so easy!

But we do the same things, we play with her little dolls house, I read her books, I sing and dance with her. She's very confident and bright as a button so I know in my heart that I'm not neglecting her.

I always feel guilty too so am guessing its the normal then....as everyone else feels bad!

I am obsessed with housework at the moment ( am 38 weeks pregnant aswel!)

I am really lucky as DD does not get up till 9.30am has a hour and a half long nap in the day and goes to bed bang on 7.00pm and sleeps through so i have it easy i reckon.

What i do is get myself up,washed and dressed, put a wash on, get a few toys out, then i make us breakfast, serve it up get DD up and change her nappy, we have breakfast together and i get her washed and dressed, we brush our teeth together!

Then we go and play on the floor together but she usually wanders off and gets a new toy out-i would say we play for about 15-20 mins. Then i will potter about doing odd jobs, like taking the rubbish out,taking pots to the kitchen.

DD will help me hang the washing,put a new wash on, put rubbish in the bin, fold laundry,put laundry away, polish, clean the table etc she LOVES to copy me clean!

Then we will do an activity like drawing,painting, and then go out in the garden for a bit and have a play.

She will watch ITNG and i will do what needs doing for half hour-sometimes i get to sit!!!

She will occupy herself for quite a while and be happy to do so, usually involves her bringing me toys while i sit being big and pregnant lol

She will nap at about 12.30-1.00 and ill either nap or cook dinner most days do both.

Ill clean the bathrooms and hover

then have dinner

I take her out tot he park alot the afternoons tend to go real fast. Then DF finishes work and takes over sitting down and playing with her while i cook tea or visa verca x

Your doing a fab job keep it up x x x

Thank you all for easing some of the guilt! I guess it will be a bit easier later on when he is more able to amuse himself. I hate keep saying "in a minute mummys just......."

I read that a baby likes at least one hour of your company a day but in short bursts. They need to learn to play alone and with others so don't feel guilty - they are developing their independance and self esteem. I spend at least 10 - 15 mins in between each nap and meal playing on the floor with him and then my DH spends about 20 mins in the evening and gets him ready for bed. I am lucky that he is happy to play on his own. I do sometimes do chores with him i.e. putting clothes away is a game.

I CONSTANTLY FEEL GUILTY ABOUT THIS ESPECIALLY NOW I'VE GONE BK TO WORK IF I NEED TO GET HOUSE WORK DONE I PUT CBEEBIES ON BUT I DON'T THINK YOUR ALONE IN FEELING GUILTY I GUESS WE CAN'T PLAY 24/7 XXXXXXXXXXX

Sounds familiar.  I would have thought this is the same for everyone.  I, too, feel guilty when I'm cooking and cleaning, but it has to be done. My 14 month old will play by herself but will also seek my attention after a while.  She is at nursery four afternoons a week so I know, at least, she's getting a lot of attention there.   I also try to take her to the playground once a day or every other day so that she gets some concentrated time out playing there with me.  Before she was at nursery I would take her to baby groups (baby signing, baby yoga and swimming) so that she had this time with the both of us (and me not doing other things). 

hey,

i do have a partner who does to work and comes home and plays with him alot but i feel the same, i worry about gettin things done during the day, but then worry just as much that he not gettin enough time with me to play.

most days im absolutely knackered trying to do everything at once....then by 7 o clock wen my lo goes to bed, im ready for bed too lol

Kel x

Dear All

I am a SAHM and would like the assitance of other SAHM please! I would like to know how much you play with your toddler? I always feel really guilty when I am not playing with him all the time, but I also need to get on with the housework too - as a consiquence I end up half heartedly playing with him with my mind on worrying about the housework and then I don't get ANYTHING done. I would happily do it all when he has a nap - but most of the time he doesn't have one  - arghhhh!

I take him out for a walk most mornings and we do painting and colouring, blocks etc but then when I go off to load the dishwasher or what have you, he wants me to go and play again and then I feel guilty....

your thoughts would be appreciated

sarah