hi hun,when i read your post it felt like i was reading bout my life my ex hub was very controlling n if he wanted something he got it,it didnt matter how much debt we were in.hes now left me for another woman.im 19weeks pregnant with a baby we planned and have josh whose 21months.hes been a total a***H**** since hes left esp when it comes to money hes totally obbessed with it,he dont pay ote for josh yet n hardly sees him which is fine by me! but if u wanna chat pm me as i no what your going through,just rem to put yourself n your lo first your so much more than him n dont worry what people say,its your life hth xx

Big hugs hun. It really sounds like youv had enough of his behaviour now. He sounds very controlling to me and even to the extent he showed you up on purpose in front of your work colleagues. Only you can decide whats best for you and your daughter hun, but coming from a single mum with no help from my dd's father whatsoever i can tell you it is hard, but only as hard as you make it. Me and my daughter have a very very strong bond as there is only the 2 of us, and we can come and go as we please (which im guessing you are longing for... freedom) As for him fighting you all the way, i assume you mean for full custody? 99% of custody cases leave the mother with custody of their children, unless the child is in anyway at risk. And it seems to me that the courts would be very sympathetic towards you due to what you have had to put up with and you have even offered him joint custody which is 100% fair.

Have a long hard think about the pro's and conns hun, only you can decide but there will be lots of people here for you when you do decide what to do xxx

I've been with my partner for 5 years and, to be honest, never really been happy. He's quite controlling, especially when we're out on a night out together (which is rare). He's usually draped all over me or trying to kiss me all the time and its so embarassing because I think you shouldn't behave like that in front of people but he says you should for them to be jealous when they see how happy we are! I dont think any1 wants to watch 2 people snogging and slobbering all night but when I tell him to stop he either makes me feel guilty by sayin I don't love him or he just has an attitude with me.

He doesn't help me around the house, never cooks or cleans. I do everything. I just want to be in an equal partnership and possibly have a meal cooked for me for once but when I tell him this he has every excuse going (says he shouldn't have to help as he works full-time, says he doesnt cook because he doesn't know what to cook but if I told him what to cook he would-and I know he wouldn't because Ive tried this in the past and theres still nothing cooked for me when I get home, he'll say he's 'just walked in' or 'he's been too busy with the baby'.

He's controlling in many other ways too. He wants me to work more (full-time if he had his way) but I'm happy working 3-4 days a week which I currently do. Christmas is coming up and my colleagues are organising a works do and I can't bear the thought of taking him with me (they're all taking partners) as last year he was complaining about the meal we'd had (every1 had enjoyed theirs but mine and my husbands wasn't very nice). I asked him not to complain as I didn't want to ruin anyones evening and I just wanted to let it drop but he went and complained anyway. The manager came over to our table and apologised but my hubby was hinting that we shouldn't have to pay for our meals. I was so embarassed as I'm very quiet so to have all my colleagues watchin this when theyd had a lovely meal was so shameful. He wouldn't let it drop either. We got our meals for free but he still kept on about it and was drinking a lot. I asked him to calm his drinking down because he's a bit of a nuisance when hes drunk ie hes hiccuping and his eyes glaze over and he slurs or hes slobbering all over me or he goes all the other way and wants to argue with people. His language is terrible as well, he says the F word in every sentence. I've asked him to stop it as I don't want our daughter picking it up but he says he cant help it, he blames it on people he works with (says they swear all the time so he's picked it up from them) but he even swear like it when hes on holidays. Hes got an excuse for everything he says and does. I just want to be free of him, I don't know who I am anymore as hes controlled me and my life for so long in lots of little ways that I haven't even realised but when I think about it I realise that I'm not myself anymore. Im so unhappy.

We've only been married a year and I'm worried what people will say. Everyone thinks I have the perfect marriage but I don't, I'm utterly miserable. I've told him I want a divorce and that I want it to be amicable. I said we should have joint custody of our daughter but he says he'll fight me all the way. I feel so ashamed and embarrassed as I know people will ask why I married him and why I haven't left sooner. The truth is that I've tried to leave him lots of times but he says I'm depressed and blames it on stress a work or post-natal depression, he always finds something and I think hes right and I end up staying.

I just want to crawl under a rock somewhere