I can't believe what I've just read. I can't believe the school's attitude!

As far as dealing with the woman who kicked your son, I think the school is wrong - there is usually a series of sanctions that can be taken against staff who are out of order, like performance improvement plans, verbal warnings, written warnings, etc. but in certain circumstances people can be dismissed for gross misconduct and if kicking a child doesn't count as that I'm not sure what would - it is abuse and shouldn't be condoned by the school, which is what they've done in my opinion.

Have you contacted social services yourself? Child Protection law means that they would need to call a case conference to see if any further action needs to be taken against the woman (was it a one off or does she regularly go around kicking children and only your son was brave enough to say anything?). Your conversation with the school doesn't preclude social services or the police from being involved - that's just a ridiculous thing to say and I bet they're all breathing a sigh of relief that they've managed to fob you off with it!

Maybe Ofsted should hear about it as well.  I am completely gobsmacked that this woman is still allowed to work in her job let alone be on the school premises. that's intimidation to your son.  My son has Aspergers  and yes can be a real handful sometimes but if someone at his school, especially someone who is responsbile for him, hurt him, I am not sure i would be responsible for my actions.  Definitely write the letter of complaint and then you have it all made official and definitely write in it about how this pathetic excuse for a woman is intimidating your son in school grounds and giving him evil stares.  Big hugs to him.

Heidi,  I had a quick read of everyones replies...so apologies if I'm repeating what someone else has already said... As a professional who works closely with children who have a multiude of serve complex diagnosis..this type of behaviour from a school support worker... is totally unexceptable... You must write a letter of complaint to the school (otherwise they don't have to offically document anything regarding this situation ..cc this letter to the LEA, your peadiatrician, GP, SENCO, Children and young people services special needs officer   AND   the school's Govenors.... within your letter state you require a written response with (anything up to ) 28 days (no more than this)

The school must reply in writing..and provide you with a satisfactory response with dealing with the situation...and how they aim to prevent this occuring again (they must follow a code of conduct..that means a written and verbal warning must be issued first....) however ...ask to see a copy of the school's regulations disciplining this type of staff behaviour...as I think they can sack staff (and don't quote me as it changes from school to school, and county to county) if the staff's behaviour is severe enough..

I hope this helps ? and No member of staff should treat any child like this (the children's act and equal opportunities states acceptable behaviour) believe me, I've received  punches, kicks, hair pulling and spitting...and at no time is it appropriate or acceptable for a professional..to behave or retaliate in this manner...

Let me know how you get on ..You stick by your principles..and protect your child..trust your gut feeling regarding what and how you and your child are being treated..

x sarah 

omg i cant believe what i am hearing. i think the school seriously needs to reassess its policies if this is acceptable behaviour of their staff!

i really hope you get to the bottom of this. keep fighting until you get a result you are happy with. as for not telling you what the incident was, is ridiculous you are his mother and should know everything from the onset.

i too feel things are being covered up. what about speaking to the school governers too. i would defiantely keep going, i think its a case of "keep shouting", as always with special needs. if you dont shout loud enough nothing gets done.

as someone else said would this be happening if your son wasnt special needs?

omg i am so angry for you xxx

Sounds to me that there has been a major cover up from the school. I am a teacher and can assure you that if a teacher had struck a child they would be instantly suspended while a full investigation took place, and i'm sure would not get off with a verbal warning.

I'm sure you are still well within your rights to contact the police or social services shoulld this be the path you wish to take and it sound as if there were plenty of witnesses therefore plenty of evidence.

Good luck in whatever u decide

Sounds to me that there has been a major cover up from the school. I am a teacher and can assure you that if a teacher had struck a child they would be instantly suspended while a full investigation took place, and i'm sure would not get off with a verbal warning.

I'm sure you are still well within your rights to contact the police or social services shoulld this be the path you wish to take and it sound as if there were plenty of witnesses therefore plenty of evidence.

Good luck in whatever u decide

Thanks for all your replies

My son is fine and although she didn't badly physically hurt him, a child doesn't expect that from an adult in a position of trust!

I have just spoken to Safeguarding schools person and she said with jobs in the public sector, they are covered by employment law and working in schools law which means that they cannot just dismiss a member of staff, they have to investigate and as the police wouldn't have enough evidence to prosecute, she cannot be dismissed!

She also said that police and social services now cannot investigate as our conversation on Friday closed that path and now the other route is being followed.

I have left a message to parent partnership to ask their advice, surely this woman can't be allowed to still work with children?

Failing that, i will have to wait the outcome (which is confidential and i will not be informed) of the investigation, the only way i will know is if she is back at work.

Not very happy today

i cannot believe what i have just read!!!

i definately think this 'woman' has got off far too lightly!!! And i think your a very strong woman for keeping so calm about the whole thing, if anybody hurt my child i dont think i could control myself!!

I think you should do what you feel is best, and i hope that awful lady gets whats coming to her... she should definately not be aloud to work with children!!

I hope your son is ok and not too upset by the whole situation xx

If she had kicked a differnet child who did not have special needs do you think they would have responded in the same way? If the answer is ’yes’ then fair enough. But I can’t help wondering whether it would have been. After all, normally verbal warnings have to be given but, in extreme situations they can be bypassed and I can’t help thinking that this probably could be one such case. After all, it doesn’t matter what a child does or does not do NO-ONE in a school be they teacher, lunchtime supervisor or head has the right to strike a child in anyway! I can understnad you not wanting to cause waves for the sake of your son but, as you said in  your post, would they have been so understanding if it had been your son who had kicked her even once let alone three times! She should not be working with children if she reacts to something they say like that. That’s all there is to it.

If she had kicked a differnet child who did not have special needs do you think they would have responded in the same way? If the answer is 'yes' then fair enough. But I can't help wondering whether it would have been. After all, normally verbal warnings have to be given but, in extreme situations they can be bypassed and I can't help thinking that this probably could be one such case. After all, it doesn't matter what a child does or does not do NO-ONE in a school be they teacher, lunchtime supervisor or head has the right to strike a child in anyway! I can understnad you not wanting to cause waves for the sake of your son but, as you said in  your post, would they have been so understanding if it had been your son who had kicked her even once let alone three times! She should not be working with children if she reacts to something they say like that. That's all there is to it.

A few other people have said the same! My son gets very hostile towards people, particularly when they've upset him and hurt him so u can imagine how he felt when he saw her outside the school giving him evils on the Monday!

I am quite a calm person but i also didn't want to jeopardise the case and give them ammo against me or my son as we are innocent in all this.

Apparently she is going to have the rules of her position laid down to her and given a verbal warning... I can't help feeling i'm being left in the dark about something here...

The school dealt with it wrongly from the outset and didn't follow the protocol and i feel that now they can't deal with it fairly on the member of staff's side and so she gets off scot-free! I feel like going to local press as this woman has a child herself and i saw her with another parents' child walking home from school the other day! Hope she doesn't lose her temper there as well!

A friend of mine is a midday supervisor and they are not even allowed to lift a childs top to look at an injury let alone assault them.

Believe me, i have felt like approaching her, and now escort my son in, she won't dare look when i'm with him! She stands there talking to 2 other mums but i think this has all been kept hush and if they do know, i'd really like to hear her justification of her actions!

It just seems no-one is allowed to discuss it!

So i come on here to rant lol x

Hi Heidi,

I can't beleive what i've just read in your post i'm in total shock!!

You must be very calm as I would have beat the lady up!!!

I personally think that if it was the other way around she would report you straight away and she has totally abused her position, no-one can make the decision for you unfortunately.

Hugs and hope your little one is not too traumatised by the whole event.

Hi,

Just wondered if i could ask for some advice?

My son is 11 years old and his class were in for wet play 2 weeks ago and there were 2 midday supervisors looking after his class. My son has Aspergers Syndrome and ADHD and can be a bit of a handful and he was rolling around playing on the floor with another boy. He was told that play was coming to an end and to get up and help tidy up.. He carried on with the other boy and the member of staff threatened to kick him, to which he replied "Go on then" and she kicked him 3 times in the back of his leg... He said to her "im reporting you" and she said "good, i don't care". This was witnessed by some of the other children and my son reported it to the other member of staff looking after the class. After lunch, he reported it to his teacher who went straight to the office and informed the deputy headteacher. I was then summoned up to the school and told there had been an incident but this could not be discussed with me at this time. Obviously my son told me what had happened but that was all i knew.

A week went by and i went in the school but they still couldn't discuss anything with me. On  Friday, i heard from the Area Manager who deals with Safeguarding in Schools from the county council and she said that the member of staff would not be instantly dismissed as they have to give out verbal warnings and written warnings for these type of things before that happens and this was a first offence! She asked me if i was happy for her and the school to deal with it, or if i wanted the police and social services, adding that this would mean my son making a police statement etc.... I did say that the school can deal with it but i think i'm changing my mind... can't help but think she's got off rather light and she also has a pupil at the school so my son has to see her every morning, not very nice for him!

Your views would be much appreciated...

Thanks in advance, Heidi