Hi missmelly i can see traits in my 2 girls my youngest is too young yet as she is only 19mths and you can put a lot of her behaviour down to terrrible 2's, My eldest as very quirky behaviour, she says nasty things to everyone not realising she is upsetting them and even when you tell her she is not bothered, she only wears things that she likes certain materials, the feel against her skin, only likes certain foods, doesn't like the way the food looks or textures, she is very moody if things don't go her way even tantrums at 13yrs old, very bright but won't be pushed into anything she doesn't want to, very immature, likes routine, but saying that i do so they may have got that from me, she wouldn't answer the register when she first started school because she didn't want to be center of attention but what she didn't realise it made her more center of attention because all the kids looked at her and said Lisa answer it, and then they would say Lisa is here and answer for her, very stubborn if she didn't want to do anything. My middle daughter is exactly the same no one can force her at all, but the difference is Melissa didn't speak until she was 2 no babbling nothing, she would just watch and learn, she breaks things, she is behind at school in reading, maths she is in yr2 so they aren't that bothered yet they think she is lazy but i don't think so, i have had a word with health visitor who as referred her for hearing check, and with speech and language therapy, but she is very hard work with it as well, she is demanding, all my family said they think she has adhd, she does have friends but they don't have a choice she drags them everywhere she clings to them either in their face or like you said ignores them, doesn't see danger what so ever. When i go out i can see the looks of "control your child, spoilt, naughty." I am used to it now with Lisa, the girls are all hard work my son is fine but saying that he has a different father so it may be that i don't know, i know girls are harder work but mine seem to be a lot harder than others i know, everyone who knows us sees me chasing mine around i can never relax as i don't know what they will do next, which makes family outings stressful and nightmare, i remember my eldest dd hid in a shop i had all the staff and friends looking all over the place then she went boo baring in mind i was like any parent would be really upset she didn't understand why, as she thought it was funny to play hide and seek. My other dd does it to me all the time so am used to it now not that it helps matters. They just drain me and i now think my youngest will be the same, she is head butting everything now none of the others did that but she gets frustated but she is a lot more forward than the others. Sorry rambling again. Thing is Lisa as managed to get to 13 and been ok in school, just her quirky behaviour she is competetive so she strives to win all the time, she wants to be in the lead all the time. Melissa is very lacking in confidence, i need to speak to the teacher at the parents evening and discuss it and maybe even make an appt to speak with her in more detail. Sharon x

He is very intelligent and absorbs things quickly...provided it's interesting to him!! He is driven by his own motivation. He can say inappropriate things not realising his words can hurt people. He takes things very literally and also associates people with certain events or sayings. For instance, he saw his nursery teacher at a shopping centre once and it really confused him....to him, she only belongs at the nursery.

That's some of the more quirky parts of him but there are big plus points too. He is a lovable, intelligent little boy who is independent and individual. If your lo does have AS, it's not as bad as it sounds. With the right support, your ds can have a normal life just like every other little boy.I know it's really scary in the beginning and a little overwhelming but there is a lot of support out there. It's a good thing to find out early, it will enable your ds and you to get the help you need. xx

My son is 4 and was diagnosed with asperger's syndrome this year. To the untrained eye he can look like a naughty  or spoiled child but his challenging behaviour is down to his AS.

He is very impatient, wants things right there and then. Just like your ds, if he asks for a drink, he wants it immediately. He doesn't really have conversations, he issues commands instead or will comment on his own thoughts. He gets upset if we have to walk a different route. One time there was a huge puddle, ankle deep on the path we use so tried to make a detour. He went ballistic!! He gets upset with certain sounds like hoovers, dryers in public toilets, traffic etc. He is also sensitive to bright lights and certain textures, especially in his food. He will literally throw up if he finds a bit of onion or sweetcorn in his food. He doesn't like to share his toys and doesn't play well with others. He will try and arrange the games to his liking or interrupt the game to organise the equipment. He annoys children by standing too close to them or by ignoring them. He is obsessive over certain things like the pc. He would sit there morning till night if he was allowed. He is fascinated by mechanics and will change dvd's over and over, delighting in pressing the buttons. He also memorizes certain parts of films and will say them over and over. He will repeatedly ask the same questions over and over and my response has to be the same as the day before or he corrects me.

Hi ignored again what you said about your 6yr old about being the boss she is also like that but everything else you have just described my eldest dd she is 13 she is also hard work not with behaviour but what she says, she isn't bothered if she upsets someone verbally, she is also more for animals than people, she is immature for her age and also isn't into fashion she prefers comfort, she is so fussy about clothes if they itch, colour. Same with foods she only eats certain foods because she doesn't like the look of it even though she as never tried it and certain textures, she saw a child pshychologist when in school to talk about upsetting other children. But her dad is the same, he is quite intelligent never went to university but he is very into computers and he can take them apart build them fix them, he knows everything about them. Also i just recieved a letter about eldest dd about getting extra help to push her into this aimhigher apparantly they can tell if they are university material and they think she has what it takes but just needs a little push, so to speak, it is fairly new. She is like what do i want to go there for??? I hope she changes her tune she is just immature, her latest craze is to be a football player! Sorry i am a bit of a rambler, luckily i can touch type learnt it at school many many moons ago, lol. Sharon x

Lol you just described my 6 yr old, except her interests are horse dogs cats and rats, she prefers animals to people, has to be the boss of every game, with three ad children she is the3 high funtioning verbal one, and she will get you more dissaproving tuts that the boys ever will for her behavior

Hi ignored thanks for that, i am up due to my 19mth she doesn't sleep through she wants to play at this time. I meant to say that she was a very good baby in fact she was very quiet, she didn't say a word until she was 2 and her first word was gog for dog not mum or dad, even at 3 she was still hard to understand by 3 and half she was better but still got words muddled, it was when she turned about 2 and half that she turned into a nightmare like a totally different child and taking her anywhere was unbearable she would just mega play up which would end up me being irrate and end up leaving and embarrasing every family outing, she still is a nightmare i thought it was terrible twos but what excuse can i use now at 6, i know she is struggling at school but yet i think she is very bright if you ask a question answers within a second very quick to respond. She is obsessed with dinosaurs, which is very unusual for a girl and also dragons and she likes very weird things like Harry potter and mysteries and magical things like fairies gnomes, she wants to know how far things will bend before they break and consequently end up being broken, always asking questions on weird things like machines and what they for and how they work etc so i know she isn't daft she has quite a few friends but is very in your face so to speak with them, she has to cuddle them and stick to them and tell them what to do or she isn't their friend, she has lost a few friends because of this she is pushy wants to be first or she screams and tantrums, it may be that head strong, as she certainly isn't spoilt. I read both websites and found them both interesting and she seems to fit into both categories she is like a tom boy but yet she is obsessed with pink if given choice what to wear it has to be pink also she will not wear yellow at all, and everything as to match, including the bobble in hair or she gets very upset, she is just hard work and i am losing patience with her and now my youngest is getting bad but i do know allergies especially food allergies can cause a lot of this and my youngest as them but don't know what and her behaviour is bad i know she is only 19mths but she is the worst one at play group she is the bully everything as to be hers and children flinch when she goes near them fearing the worst it is awful, she is the opposite to Melissa she seems very intelligent can string 3-4words together knows above average words, can jump, good at balance, mimics everything like movements down to whispering and coughing, laughing everything. But yet her behaviour is scandalous, i can't believe how different children can be. Sorry for rambling again, i will see how the slt and hearing check goes and go from there. Thank you again. Sharon x

this is the adhd my dd suffers from as well as her aspergars

Children who are inattentive have a hard time keeping their minds on any one thing and may get bored with a task after only a few minutes. If they are doing something they really enjoy, they have no trouble paying attention. But focusing deliberate, conscious attention to organizing and completing a task or learning something new is difficult.

Homework is particularly hard for these children. They will forget to write down an assignment, or leave it at school. They will forget to bring a book home, or bring the wrong one. The homework, if finally finished, is full of errors and erasures. Homework is often accompanied by frustration for both parent and child.

The DSM-IV-TR gives these signs of inattention:

• Often becoming easily distracted by irrelevant sights and sounds
• Often failing to pay attention to details and making careless mistakes
• Rarely following instructions carefully and completely losing or forgetting things like toys, or pencils, books, and tools needed for a task
• Often skipping from one uncompleted activity to another.

Children diagnosed with the Predominantly Inattentive Type of ADHD are seldom impulsive or hyperactive, yet they have significant problems paying attention. They appear to be daydreaming, "spacey," easily confused, slow moving, and lethargic. They may have difficulty processing information as quickly and accurately as other children. When the teacher gives oral or even written instructions, this child has a hard time understanding what he or she is supposed to do and makes frequent mistakes. Yet the child may sit quietly, unobtrusively, and even appear to be working but not fully attending to or understanding the task and the instructions.

These children don't show significant problems with impulsivity and overactivity in the classroom, on the school ground, or at home. They may get along better with other children than the more impulsive and hyperactive types of ADHD, and they may not have the same sorts of social problems so common with the combined type of ADHD. So often their problems with inattention are overlooked. But they need help just as much as children with other types of ADHD, who cause more obvious problems in the classroom.

for you Shaz i would look at this site

http://www.ldonline.org/adhdbasics/symptoms

from what you describe your daugther as being like (sounds just like mine) this may be a possibility although i am no subsitute for a medical professional, what i know come from having three asd children that vary from non verbal to aspergars and working with in a nas branch

hi ignored my dd i have had my concerns for a while her behaviour is not at all normal i can get embarrassed by what she does, but all my daughters have been very head strong, my eldest dd had a group meeting with a school pshcyologist as she was very abusive in what she said to other children and make them cry even now she is 13 and the things that come out of her mouth are very hurtful i explain but she still says them. my middle daughter the one i am  concerned about is quite behind at school but because she is a summer baby and just gone into year 2 she is still on stage 1 books can't put a sentence together out of the 100 key words they should know she knows 20 tops and that is me mega helping her at home, she was very delayed in her speech even now she is lazy in her speech she was 6 in august, she is having a hearing check next week, she has been referred to slt. her behaviour is i am not sure at school but i am waiting for the parents evening in november give them time to get to know her properly, i managed to speak to teacher for all of 2mins to tell her i was worried about her, she said they did notice and that they were speaking about getting her 1-1, but then the next thing she said she thinks she is lazy, i know she says she can't do it, as it is easier than doing the task as she finds it hard, but she seems to forget things, like she will learn a word get it right but then a day after in a book she won't recognise it. it took her a long time just to get her name right. her behaviour at home is ok if she is doing something to keep her occupied but she is very restless, she becomes very frustrated, she tantrums a lot, she s***es off her baby sister and says that is mine like a 2yr old, she is also very bossy and answers back to me even her dad and her older siblings, she doesn't sense danger at all she went on new bike down our hill outside the garden when i told her not to ended up going onto the main road at the bottom as she didn't know how to use the brakes, i asked why did she do it, because she wanted to! same with the skates only just put them on and nearly broke her neck doing the same. climbing on walls high, jumping over and standing ontop of bins i will say get down or you will fall, her answer is no i won't. it is embarrassing as she runs into people she knocked a grown man over it was awful, in morrisons or asda, she thinks she is an horse, she gets down on all fours, the looks people give me as my now 19mth old also tantrums so it looks like i am a mum who doesn't know how to control her kids and they are right i can't not through trying. i have 2 older ones and they seemed fine i did have a few problems with eldest daughter but nothing like with these 2, the looks i get. my youngest is going through a faze of hitting, biting, pulling hair, kicking, head butting then laughing after she has done it, it isn't nice at all. i would love to go out and enjoy doing things without racing about after the 2 youngest. all i get off family it is a phase they will grow out of it, she will come on in her own time, she is just head strong, yes but they haven't to deal with it 24-7. don't you just love kids, sorry for babbling i am going to look at that web site now, thanks for reading. sharon x

, the insistance on routine, needing to know in advance where you are going, getting upset if that plan fails is a typical Aspie trait, as it the taking things  literally "sit" all kids sometimes do these things,  but if its every day then you have to be concerned

how is he with his friends, is he bossy, is it my way or i won't play, the thing i find about aspergar children is it's my way or no way

aspergars children have difficulties in two main areas, social communication and social immagination. can he underdtand other peoples points of view, some would describe it as putting yourself in someone elses shoes, does he have difficulty using two senses at once ie. look and listen or smell and look, some children can find this overpowering. What do the school think? is he at school yet

have a look here

http://www.nas.org.uk/nas/jsp/polopoly.jsp?d=212&a=14686

thankyou karen for your reply I will let you know, I know school have said there haven't been any major issues, but there never were at nursery (apart from the time he went right upto a child infront of his mother and told the child he didn't like him-apparently the child went round hitting everyone but I was still mortified over it)but my theory on this is that school is structured, but up until today he has only been there for 3 hours a day, today he stayed for lunch too. however he used to stay to lunch at nursery twice a week and he seemed really happy today when i fetched him.

also thankyou to the other lady who replied.

My Daughter Charlotte is 2 and is also going for assesments for ASD, ASD means Autistic Spectrum Diosrder,

this can range from Autism thorugh th aspergers etc etc, some of the girls on thid forum are great and know so much ...

From what i can tell you PDDAG which is the Pervasive Development Difficulties Assesment Group is the tests they carry out to find out where on the spectrum your child is.

I was told this can take up 2 months, they wil do variuos activities with your child and observe him in the home, at nurser etc etc.

Keep me up to date id be very interested to see how you get on, and i will likewise keep you updated.

Karen xxx

hiya

i knw nothing about asd but i didnt want to read and run, good luck with everything hope someone who knows more answers soon

anyone?

my mum also keeps telling me that he is just naughty but most of the time he is a fab kid, will happily pla by himself for hours on end.

he will however get really cross with me if he asks for a drink and I dont make it immediatly.

on thursday we were walking home from school and my daughter (she is 7)was walking behind us and it was sunny and he was screaming at her and crying not to walk behind cause her shadow was going to squash his.

we have to go over and over (and i mean probably about 20 times a day)the days of the week and what we are doing on each one for the next week even though he knows.

the other day we went into town and on the way there he was asking where we were going so I said 'woolowrths, post office and then if you are good the toy shop' (he asked me this about 10 times)then as we were walking past smiths I remembered I needed to get something in there too so I told him and he screamed and screamed at me because he didnt think we needed to go there-but once I got him through the door and pointed to the books he went and had a look at them and was okay.

in the past we have been with my mum and we were crossing the road and she said 'sit' to the dog but ds actually sat down on the path.

one day last week we were going to his friends after school (he is on half days at the moment)and he had it in his head we would walk there but I had left ds2 with dh and I needed to come home and pick the baby up and drop the car of for dh to go to work and then was going to walk to his friends from here but he just couldn't grasp this and he gets so inconsolable that you cant even explain to him or reason with him. in the end he walked home with his friends mum whilst I came and got the baby and met him at his friends house.

he also can't stand the baby having a messy face (say if he is eating yoghurt)

my question is really could this all be down to normal childhood behaviour and he just be loads harder work than my daughter or dose it sound like his pead may be right? the one thing I keep seeing is that children with aspergers like routine but indoors we dont seem to have to have a set rountine he would eat his dinner as happily at 8pm as at 6pm the only thing i have noticed is he seems to expect dinner to be cooked instantly when I put it in the oven. his speach is fine and normal he can read his numbers knows his shapes and coulours can count to 12 and do puzzles in about 10 seconds flat and knows every single thomas train there ever was.

Ds1 turned 5 last month tbh we have had a rough couple of years as a family, 2 years ago 16 days before he was 3 his baby sister was still born at 24 weeks.  Then I fell pg again 8 months later and had a bit of a rough pg, was very sick, the possiblity of downs was mentioned at my nucal scan (baby was fine), then 6 weeks before my due date dh's dad died (although ds1 wasn't closs to him he still found it upseting and difficult to understand). I was induced the day after my due date and ds2 was born screaming, only after he was born did we find out that we were also close to lossing him too which led to me having pnd. things are all okay with me now though but I dont know wether ds1 is behaving the way he is because of all I have mentioned above or if there really is a problem. he himself has also been in and out of hospital.

we have been seeing a peadtrition for him since he was 2, intially it started of for server eczema but then he was rushed to hospital with breathing difficulties and had a shadow on his lung after a night in hospital on oxygen all was well and we came home, 18 months later and we were back in hospital on oxygen, this time his lung collapsed and we were in for nearly a week. to cut a long story short because the x-rays never improved over a course of a year they have run loads of tests so far we know he has asthma, several allergies, silent reflux (which went undiagnosed until a month ago) but are waiting for many other results.

anyway we saw his peadtrition on tuesday and ds was throwing another one of his wobblies as we were also going to hospital in london and all he was focused on was that and nothing else so he was screaming 'i want to go to brompton i dont want to see this doctoe' whilst me and dh were trying to talk to him. I have noticed several things like this recently with ds's behaviour and had found a website which suggested it could be linked to undiagnosed reflux so I said to his pead ' i want to ask about his behaviour' his pead almost looked relived and said 'tbh I have had my suspisions about it for a long time and I will refer him for assesment as imo he may have aspergers' i was a bit taken aback but also kind of relived that I am not making a mountin out of a mole hill if that makes sense.

the thing is I have talked to a few close family and friends and some have said what he dose could be just normal childhood behaviour.

I will post seperatly on this thread how he behaves as I know bounty sometimes cut posts of lol