hiya every1, i can certaining sypathise with that lady. IM 36 wks pregnant , and since my 2yr and half  old boy has moved into his cotbed, hes played up. At first he wouldnt mind getting into bed, but now this baby is on its way he goes up to bed ok just refuses to get into bed, always wants to carry on playing toys. i try and read a few books, and has his light dim but it always seems like a battle!, and then starts to get late! eventually i go down stairs and leave him for abit , as the stairgate is on the landing.

then mostly every night he wakes up at 3, 4 am comes into my room for no reason and then i take him bk and he climbs bk into bed, on some occassions he wont and then asks for drinks, i have to sit and wait for him to fall bk to sleep. hes gone bk to his clingy stage and has to take all his posscessions with him to bed and everwhere. so is it his age of indepence or this new baby coming ???

this to me sounds like madness your lo is 2 and should be doing what you tell him not the other way around, there is only one way to solve this and that is to be in a routine and be firm and not back down, ofcourse lo wont go to bed if he knows that after a short while will get his own way and gets to do what he wants, if you want lo to do something then it is up to you to teach this, my kids have been in a routine from the moment they were born and on the whole it is the same thing everynight, they know that when dad goes upstairs he is going to run the bath they then know when he calls then thats it time to go upstairs and its bath time, they do not come back downstairs once they have had a bath, they then get pj's on and story, they are in bed by 6.45pm, sometimes they play up for a little bit but on the whole by 7-7.15pm they are asleep, yes they have tried getting out the room etc etc etc but you have to use the rapid return method where you put back to bedd and ignore them, tuck them in close the door, this may take 100 returns and may take 2 weeks to resolve but if you want to resolve this issue then you have to be strong determined and committed coz if you back down then there is no point even  starting it, and you use the same method if lo comes into your bed in the night, the thing is i would never tell anyone how to parent and if you are happy with things the way they are then fine go with it but if you seriously want this to change then you are gonna have to be really tough on this one, i personally dont agree with cutting lo nap out coz i beleive the better they sleep in the day the better they sleep at night, my dd is 3 and has 1.5 hours nap and ds is 18 months and has 3 hour nap, but like i say the only person can change it if you want to change is you and dh and it will be really hard for a couple of weeks but once you've cracked it it will be fine, i hope that you dont think i am coming across tyoo harsh i am just trying to type really quickly as i need to get my dd to bed xxx

just to let you know you can still get pressure fit gates to fit smaller gaps instead of having to screw one to the wall.i have a 72 cm gap in dd's doorway and i bought the lindam flexigate.it fits perfect and can be folded away for storage although i leave mine up just put it away into my room during the day.

TBH I wouldnt do the sitting on his bed thing. He needs to learn to sleep on his own without you, by sitting with him you could end up being there for a good hr or so! I would let him cry it out and no matter how many times he comes down stick it out and keep putting him back.  Our dd use to be an excellent sleeper and would go straight down but lately shes been a nightmare one night last wk we gave in and let her come down for "2 mins" and since then shes been getting out saying i want 2 mins driving us nuts. You must stick to it otherwise youll regret it. like someone else said after a few nights he will give in. same with getting inyou bed at night our dd has done this for the last 5 nights and weve kept putting her back even if it meant no sleep for us!! last night she finally gave in to it and didnt come in our room. kids are clever and they pick up on any slight weakness! stay firm i know its hard. Also our dd wouldnt go to bed as she was having a daytime nap, but even tho shes 3yrs she often still needs one otherwise she wont eat her tea so ive cut it down to no more than 20mins and she goes to bed a lot better.

I have tried staying with him, sitting on his bed till he's sleeping, it worked a couple of nights then he started trying to get out his room and I'd lose my temper with him and walk away.

Thanks for all your replies, tried the stairgate but its too big to fit on his doorway so would need to buy one that screws on to wall, still considering it though.

I feel I can’t cut out his nap at the moment as I sometimes have to waken him really early to take him to mother in law’s when I’m working and they would let him sleep no matter what I said.

I will try a lot harder this week with him as I am not working as much.

Thanks so much for all your help, I feel better now after getting some advice and support as I don’t get much support from the family on this matter.

i agree with the previous poster you need to be firm, get him in a good set routine.

invest in a good stair gate and get it put on his bedroom door. then you can start to do abit of cc, it will seem like hard work but it should only take a couplpe of days then he knows where he will stand and when you say bedtime he will then know its bedtime

show him whos the adult

good luck huni xx

Tbh I think you need to be firm - you said after a half hour crying you let him come downstairs so he knows if he kicks off you will give in - he needs to see that you wont change your mind once you have decided its bedtime.

Im not sure controlled crying works Im too much of a softie but once my DD's are in their bedroom nothing will let them come back downstairs no matter how long it takes - maybe stay with him for a bit then move outside the door and if he is crying just keep going back in and reassuring him you are still there but you need to stick with it - a few nights stress will be worth it in the long run!

Yeah I would stop the daytime naps and put a stairgat on his door, plus a good bedtime routine goes a very long way to ensure a good night sleep for both yourself and your son! My son is 3 and since he was born he has had a routine for bed and he is so use to it, its just natural, and its not too late for you to get your son into one!

5pm Dinner, 6pm bathtime, 6:30pm warm cup of milk and cuddles and 7pm bedtime and we read a story together in dimmed lighting, give kisses and its sleep time!

You really need to be consistant with this or it wont work and I too would recommend control crying!!!! It doesnt hurt them to do this and after 3 nights he will be going to bed without a fuss realising there is no point in getting upset and as he is tired he wont want to fight it!!

If hubby doesnt like the control crying then ask him to deal with your son! They have it so easy it make me cross when mine tries to undermind me!!

Do what you feels right!

Do you think that it's because he doesn't want to sleep or because he wants to be near you?

I stopped both of mine napping quite young otherwise they wouldn't go to sleep at night. I work on a Saturday and find my ds (3) always comes in my bed Saturday night and seems to need more cuddles on a Sunday.

I also make sure he doesn't have too much sugar or other rubbish near to bed time.

Would your lo stay in bed if you stayed with him? Maybe you could lay on his bed with him or sit next to the bed (I pretend to be asleep so they don't talk to me). When he gets better at staying in bed and going to sleep you could then leave before he was asleep but tell him you'll be back in a couple of minutes and he must wait in bed for you. Eventually you'll be able to get away with a five minute cuddle in his bed before leaving. I always promise to go back to mine every few minutes until they are asleep but often I only need to return once.

yes he still has a daytime nap but I try to make it as early as possible and restrict it to one hour but even the days that he doesn't have a nap I can't get him to go to bed.  He seems tired until I try to get him to bed.

Tonight after a half hour screaming match, I ended up letting him sleep on the settee and carrying him up to bed and I know that in a few hours time, he'll crawl in beside us.

I really don't know what to do with him and beginning to get really down about life.

Will hopefully put a gate on his room at the weekend as see if I can get him sorted but feel bad about it, like prison in his own room.

Is he having a nap during the day. If my dd (2.5yr) goes without a nap she's in bed at 7:15...asking to go to bed at 6:30 (but shower etc keeps her going) and then sleeps through nearly...she wakes out of habit shouting for a bottle of water and where normally I go in with one....I just over the past week started shouting back.....I'll be a minute and then going back to sleep and she doesn't bother as she nods back off waiting...lol!!

BUT...if she even shuts her eyes for 10 minutes we have big trouble, and it is at least 10pm when she goes to sleep and is in and out of bed with every excuse going...waking up my Son (7yrs) and even telling him to change her nappy!!!

The only thing I can do is go out in the car when I know she'll stay awake or give her something to keep her awake and keep busy during the day...we have quite time a couple of times a day, but the slightest sign she will sleep we get up and do cooking or painting etc. to stimulate her.

Lots of fresh air...we even go out in the rain with our "puddle busters" on and jump in puddles.

Thanks for replying, will possibly try that but will need to buy a stairgate first as the one I have is bolted onto the wall at top of stairs.  I'm not sure hubby will agree as he doesn't think leaving him to cry works but I will definitely consider it.

You seem to have a good routine and hopefully I will soon as I'm shattered, I don't get any time to myself even to do the housework. Will let you know if it works for us.

have you tried putting a stairgate on his door and then do controlled crying.i know it can sound quite cruel and it is hard as well but it can work.i was having trouble with dd getting up at 4 or 5am when she went into a bed and found that a gate on her door worked as she couldn't get out her room to "explore" the house she decided it wasn't worth getting up at that time.it could make him feel more secure if there's a gate there and maybe if he knows he's not getting out of his room then he will decide bed is the best place to be.also setting a nice relaxed bedtime routine could help say at 7pm give him a 5 min warning that he'll be getting ready for bed then after the 5 mins get pj's on and then have a warm drink and after that through to bed to read a story together.what i do with dd is 6pm tidy the house and get the bed ready,6.15pm pj's on,6.30pm warm milk then 7pm through to bed for a story.i read to her in a dimmed light as well and lie next to her on the bed to read together.i leave her the book and put on lullabys and a nightlight for her.it works for us really well.

Anyone have any advice as to how to get a 2year old to go to his bed at night?  You can see he's tired but won't give in and sometimes ends up going to sleep on the settee and we carry him up to bed.  Its 11.30pm and he's still up, I tried sitting on his bed till he was sleeping but didn't work.  Thinking of putting the travel cot up in his room so that he can't get out and just let him cry but don't know if that'll help.

Also if he does go to sleep in his bed, he always comes in beside us during the night.  I always said I wouldn't allow that but I'm working now and need my sleep.