moving on form the earing thread - opinions please.
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- moving on form the earing thread - opinions please.
2/10/08 20:18
2/10/08 19:08
Hi there, YUMMYMUMMY25, i have just read your post, and have you ever heard of Silky Mitts?? My mum used to use them, and i think before i started shaving i would use them. You put them on your hand, and move them around in a circle motion and it removes the hair, mine were always silky smooth after using them!! I work at the Juniors part of my kids school and hear it everyday how mean some children can be. xxx
2/10/08 18:06
i think if i was in your position i would have done the same , in fact when ds2 was smaller he had 2 operations to correct his squint . this had no effect on his vision so was purely cosmetic . At the time i never questioned whether it was the right thing to do , it would have seemed cruel to leave him with an awful squint through life when there was something which could be done.Unfortunately these ops werent 100% succesful and at 13 hes possibly going for futher surgery , his own decision this time. just waiting to see specialist.
2/10/08 16:42
Hi Donna hun. i think you are doing the right thing. kids have enough to deal with and although the laser is probably not nice I bet when she is older she will thank you for it.
although i dont mean to i admit that if someone has a birthmark or something similar on their face i would look. it is one of those things that most people cant help. it can take people a long time to not notice it anymore.
I think what you are doing is not the same as getting ears peirced. like you say it is cosmetic reasons but it something that should help her quality of life.
2/10/08 16:29
Thanks, I do feel confident that I made the right choice but I just wondered what others think when I talk to them etc so it's soog to see the majority can see why we had the treatment done.
She has a strawberry on her bum as well as the portwinde stain on her face. Port Wine stais do not fade without treatment which is why we had it treated but the strawebbey on her bum is supposed to fade (it hasn't relly gone that much yet). We wont get it treated as one on her bum is not the first thing people will see and others than in PE and swimming class etc no one sees it.
For those wanting to know more about anykind of birthmark the birthmark support group has lots if advice.
It is such a fine line a bout how far should be go regarding our kids apperance. Most of us do things like get our kids hair cut or tie it back nicely etc, we buy them nice clothes and all this is part of enhancing apperance and some parents choose to correct ears that stick out or get helmets for flat head syndrome etc -so I guess treateing a birthmark is similar.
I guess there is no right or wrong and we have to make our own choice in each situation.
Thanks,
Donna
Donna
2/10/08 16:16
Just read all of this thread and found it really interesting. My DS is 3 (tomorrow!) and has a raised strawberry birthmark on his top lip which shows no signs of going- like your DD Deeja.
I dont really see it anymore myself but do often get asked if he's banged his lip. My DH wants it dealt with for the same reasons mentioned on here - bullying mainly (he suffered this and doesn't want to give anyone a reason to pick on our DS). I say he's been kissed by an angel, but don't suppose I can keep saying that as he grows up lol.
I totally agree with your choice Mountaingoat - it's yours to make and is for a fair reason.
For info, I still have a very feint patch on my arm about double the size of a £2 coin which is the remains of a strawberry birthmark. Noone notices it and my mum recalls it fading by the age of 5.
2/10/08 11:30
unless she is the luckiest child in the world she'l have enuf(real and imagined)appearance issues to deal wiv when shes older so if u can help now do it
2/10/08 10:18
i think your absolutely doing the right thing,as previous posters have said kids can be cruel and as a parent your are just doing what your instincts tell you and trying to protect your child from that.i can remember when i went up to secondry school there was a girl in the year above me who had a port wine birthmark all down one side of her face and half way down her neck,she was known as bertha because of this.there was also an albino girl a few years above me who was known as sheepy because of her colourings.these girls faced a daily dose of being hurled abuse at etc just because of the way they looked.i also suffered bullying for a short while which was quite unbelievabley because i was skinny! i used to wish i could be fat like the other girls who were picking on me.now looking back i'm quite proud of my slim figure back then,just wish i still had it now,lol! anyway as you can see from my ramblings it just takes one little difference for kids to pick up on and that can make you a target.you don't have to justify your decision to anyone and in all honesty i think your dd will thank you one day.
2/10/08 09:59
Yummymummy I get what you're saying. I just dont think I would do it. Then I dont know because im not in that position. I think it's a personal choice and like others have said, any decision will be the right one. I just dont know. It is a diffcult one.
2/10/08 09:52
Hello Donna
I think you have done totally the right thing, and who cares what anyone else thinks anyway. I don't think you need to talk to your friends about it or try and justify your reasons, you're doing your best for your daughter and that is commendable. Children can be very very cruel and that I think is far worse to have to go through than any treatment she may be receiving now. I f it was left and she was teased that can affect the whole of her school life and that should be a happy time. If it was me I'd want my parents to have done all they can for me as early as possible especially as it is in a visable place. xx
2/10/08 09:35
hi mountaingoat - i think you are doing the right thing - it can't have been an easy decision but you have obviously talked to specialists etc. if i were in your position i think i would have done the same thing. x
2/10/08 09:29
Ok its not the same thing but my daughter is nearly 8 and has very hairy legs they are also very dark, as she is dark skinned. I went to boots to ask for advice and the woman looked completely horrified. my dd is getting picked on at school constantly because of this. I have taken the decision to do something about her legs and I think you have made the right decision regarding your dd. Kids can be very cruel indeed and trust me when your having to drag your child to school in a morning its not fun and heartbreaking. x
2/10/08 09:28
I have the same problem with knowing whats best for our dd. She was born with a huge raised up strawberry mark on her head, one on her back and one on her bottom. All 3 have vanished now and gone flat but she also has one on her lip. Ive been told it may go before she reaches school age but she is 31/2 now and its still there. It looks more like a lump on her lip rather than a birthmark I dont want to put her through surgery Im not sure what to do, at this age it looks quite cute on her and I cant imagine her without it but as she gets older she might hate it or get teased. People are always asking me if she has had a fall or bumped her lip. Its difficult to know what is best as were making the decision for them, I think in your case your probably doing the right thing and by the time its gone your dd probably wont remember anything about it. At least its being done as laser treatment. Im not wanting to get dds done as I know she will have to be put under general anaesthetic which I dont really want to put her through. Its a difficult one!
2/10/08 09:22
i disagrss teesh a birth mark on your leg is alot different to 1 on your face and if i were born with 1 on my face and my parents had the option of doing something about it but chose not to id be distraught i really would , kds will be kids and more than likely will tease about something like that , good on you for getting it done i know how horrid it is to see your lo's going through something that they dont like , my lo was born with talipes (club foot) and from 6 weeks old had to have physio to correct it so every 2 weeks id take him to the hospital and he would scream the place down some times becuase it was so uncomfortable for him but the end results are worth it x
2/10/08 09:04
There is no right or wrong answer to this from personal experiance we decided to leave dds alone and it has gradually faded on its own, but this is not always the case had it not faded as much as it has i would probably of got it treated.
2/10/08 08:39
I think it's a decision you can only make if you are in that position, saying that if one of my kids had a mark that was visible I would probably do what I could to make it better.
Earings are a different issue as she can choose to take them out whereas your daughter can't take her face off and change it.
Children say what they see and can be cruel even if they don't mean it, then there is the issue of children being cruel who do mean it, you are just looking after your child's long term happiness and helping her to cope with what can be a difficult time in life without any added pressures.
Good luck and hope the treatment has the desired affect.
To look at another way if any of us had a mark that could of been treated by our parents decision I am sure we would consent, I know I would.
2/10/08 08:23
Personally I would do the same as you. Kids of school age can be so cruel and although its so wrong your lo may well get teased over anything 'different' on their face. Just you do whatever you think is right for your lo and dont worry about what others might say, you know best !
2/10/08 08:13
Kids can be very cruel when they reach school age and yes I probably would do the same thing as you in all honesty, especially as it is on her face. I also think who gives a t0ss what others think, she is your child and you are doing what you think is right for her. I don't think you are being cruel at all. xxxxx
2/10/08 07:48
Hi there, i think whatever your decision is, its right. Its your chid and you know how you feel about it. Im not in your position, but i think if i was i would do the same, but i cant really say unless i knew how you felt. I think a mark like that, thats on the face is going to course your little one a few problems with bullying and so on at a later stage of life, so i completely understand why you are doing this. I really dont think people can say your bad for doing so, as unless they are in your position they wont understand. So please if anyone says otherwise then ignore them. We have to make decisions as parents, whether or not they are right, its the choices we have to make for our own children. Good luck with your little ones treatment and hope it all goes well. xxx
1/10/08 22:51
I kind of disagree. Its a natural 'disfigurement. I wouldnt laser it away. My little bro has the bigest 'strawberry mark' on the bottom of one leg and I think its cute, he's 6 and it has grown out loads with just a little bit of marks left which im sure will strectch/fade over time. I must admit i didnt read ur post fully but its natural and what god desired. The only thing I'd get lasered away is a hman error ie: tattoo. '
my dd was born with a big skin tag at the top of her bum like a tail - at 2 she went under a GA to have it removed. She also had a haemangioma (sp) underneath it.
If you look at her bottom you can see it is mishapen - it is puffy at the bottom of her spine and you can now see a small scar where the 'tail' was, the birthmark has half faded down but it is still visible. however it is a lot better than before.
We had the operation done on the advice of the cosmetic surgeons who wanted to remove it before school age because of bullying and i don't regret it at all. but it was a horrible decision to make and if it had been on her face i wouldn't have hesitated - hopefully no one will really see dd's... but kids can be horrible.
however she won't be getting her ears pierced til she's in double figures
hugs to you all