I have just had a baby boy  and my 4yr old keeps telling his 2yr old sister no one loves her!.... try reading the book Litte Monster did it!

hey

Iv just read your thread and its really pulled my heart strings. I have three children aged 4 1/2, 2 and 7 weeks. I had no problems with dd when dd number 2 was born. dd 1 was absoultly fantastic and always helped out with lo. However when I sat her down and told her we were going to have another one she burst out crying. After a while she did slow down long enough for me to ask her why she was crying she said she didnt want to take Imogen (dd2) back to hospital Obviously I couldnt see what on earth she was on about so questioned why would we do that?. She replied basically saying we couldnt have another baby as Imogen is our baby. She thought we were going to take imogen back and get a new one! It took me basically my entire pregnancy to reassure her we were most certainly not going to get rid of imogen and just get a new one! Once ds was born and Imogen didnt disappear she has once again been fantastic. Even offered to do the night feeds bless her! Obviously both dd's do have sibling rivarly but thats just the way siblings are. They are the best of friends but worst enemys. Today Isabel(dd1) told Imogen that ds didnt love dd2 because he loved her !! I was shocked that she had said that but explained that he does love them both !  dd2 has acted up since he was born but nothing too drastic.

just thought i would share that with you. Your not alone out here xxxx

bumped for you x

I'm glad I read this today as DS has started getting really frustrated and I don't know why - luckily he takes it all out on his teddy bear not his little sister. I think it has something, well a lot, to do with DD starting to sit up and play with his toys, sitting at the table with him and generaly being really cute and getting lots of attention. Tomorrow morning I am taking DS out, just me and him to spend some time 1 on 1, not just the time I try to give when DD is asleep. 

Bless him though he got really upset when I collected him from nursery tonight and one of the ladies there help DD while I put his coat on, and he was really worried and kept saying, " No. No. Annabelle. Mama" until she gave DD back to me. He's never asked for her to go away but does insist other people hold her so he can cuddle mummy.

Thanks so much for all your replies, definitely think they should have a bit more info out there for 2nd time mums. Feel a lot better after reading your replies though, esp. bit about wanting to feed sibling to the lions!!! Will definitely take a look at that book as well. Thanks so much x x x

I think it is natural to feel like that. My son was only 17 months when I had my daughter and I felt I had deprived him of his mummy at such an early age as I was pregnant and then had a newborn to look after.

I soon learned that he has all his needs met and all the love he could possibly want/need and that was what mattered.

He is very young to be thinking about that sort of thing in depth, so I wouldn't worry too much.

just to add that in the first few months dd1 asked me to put dd2 back in my tummy, my friends litle boy asked her to feed his little sister to the lions on a trip to teh Zoo an d yet another frinds little girl told her mummy to give her little brother to the neighbours.  It's normal to feel this way and it's good that your son can at least tell you how he feels.

A few months later and all the above kids now seem to really enjoy playing with thier younger siblings and my dd keeps telling all her friends at nursery anbout her little sister and asked me for another sister the other day!!! She has alwasys been very gentle and ind to her sister but we still get attantion seeking behavior when Phoebe is getting attention and I can still see that she is adjusting to teh changes even though I can barely remember only having one child now.  Pheoebe now sits at table with us and rolls around teh floor (playing with big sisters toys but mostly chasing after big sisters strippy tights/socks/dress - much to big sisters annoyance.

I felt like this too.  My dd was 2 years and 3 months when I had number two and I spent a long time preparing her for the arrival of a new baby but I still felt sorry for her and almost mourned the fact that it would never just be be and my eldest daughter again as now we had another child and although I spent as much time with dd1 as I could (whenever I wasn't feeding or changing the new baby I tried to spend time with dd1) my dh did start to soend more and more time with dd1 to make sure she got the attantion she needed, but It was hard for me to see this relationship developing as I so much so wanted to be spoending more time with her but at the same time my newborn needed me to breastfeed her and I wanted to build my realtionship with my second child too.

I am sorry to say but It doesn't get that much easier that quickly.  I kind of thought that once dd had got used to a new baby in the house that would be it and all woudl settle down, but in reality the baby is changing all the time and the older child has to adjust to the changes all teh time, at first baby sleeps a lot and just lies in crib etc, then baby starts to play with toys and becomes a bit more a person who is awake more, then they start to sit up and join older sibling in the bath etc or they start to crawl or roll around the living room, and they start eatuing food and joining the family at the table so the 1st year is full of dufferent stages that the older child has to adapt to - I am really surprised on how much info and advice is out there when you become a 1st time mum and yet apart from advice on the first time big brother or sister meets the newborn there is not a lot of avice on managaing two kids, everyone seems to assume you have done it before and know what to do, but helping a child tae on teh roll of big brother or sisiter is new to all us second time mums.

One book I did find is "three shoes, one sock and no hairbrush" - it's availble from NCT Sales - it's not an advice book but it is full of mums expalining what it is like going form 1 to 2 and if nothing else it helps you see your feelings our normal and you may get some tips form the mums who shar their stories.

Donna

im sure your lo will be fine but id definatly tell people to speak to ds before baby ive been lucky with most people as they talk to ds1 and 2 1st ds2 gets quite protective and jelous when people talk to dd but he loves having her the putting baby n his bed might be a confusion thing try sitting down with him and saying that the hospital was his 1st bed but now he lives at home forever

I've got a 2 1/2 year old and an 8month old and I was really worried about how my little boy would feel with the arrival of his sister. At first life was sooooo mad that I hardly had any time to spend with him. But now DD has got to 8 months things are a lot easier - she absolutely dotes on DS - he makes her laugh more than any one else and her face lights up when he comes near her - he loves this! I guess you have to think about why you had two and think about how good it will be when they are both a little older! Soon they'll be ganging up on you! If only we had a crystal ball.

hi. my dd is 2 and half and no2 is due in feb. i too am worrying about dd but i am reading a really great book called one shoe, three socks and no hairbrush or something like that by rebecca abrahams i think. i dont suppose you have any time for reading but if you do manage any time to yourself i really recommend it. its really honest and normalises lots of things we go through that we dont really talk about and acknowledges life with 2 kids is really hard. it also looks at sibling rivalry. hope this helps you x

I had my second son when my first was almost 2yrs, when 2nd was a baby my first accidently knocked him and I told him off and to be carefull round him, he then said sorry I hurt YOUR baby, it made me feel awful, so I explained that he was his baby brother and loved him. They are now 3yrs and 1 yr and play together lovely, of course they have their spats, but I always made sure when my youngest had his sleeps that I gave the oldest one on one time. My oldest now says that he loves youngest and gives him kisses and cuddles, and I still make sure that we have on on one time with puzzles etc.

Its probably silly for me to worry, but I have a 3 and a half year old boy and we had a new baby boy 4 months ago. I was really worried before the birth about how ds would react and whether he would enjoy having a baby brother,but he was wonderful, took it all in his stride and even though he was tired he was eager to give his new baby brother lots of kisses and cuddles. But tonight he said to me 'mummy I missed you when you were in hospital' and thensaid we needed to go back to the hospitl to put Charlie (baby) in his bed. I'm probably reading loads into this, but he looked so sad when he said it. I know the last few weeks there has been lots going on and I haven't been able to give himas much attention as usual and family and friends are not helping as definitely going for baby first before him, poor thing. I just hope this will pass and won't turn into an awful sibling rivalry. How can I make sure this doesn't happen? What can I do to reassure ds that he is still my number 1 boy? Sorry guys, just felt I needed to write about it really as feel really sad and guilty that my boy might not be happy. Thanks x x x