My DS will be 4 in April and wont attempt to dress/undress... im trying to teach and encourage him but he just knows i'll do it for him (have a 4mth old so usually rushing lol). So, id say that sounds pretty normal.

As for the poo's you could try stories. There is a lovely book called 'The story of the little mole who knew it was none of his business' which is quite light hearted and funny. If you look on Amazon you'll find a few. Might help xx

Hello,

Just thought I would let you know that my daughter done this with her toilet, at about 3 - 3 1/2, she would hold it in for days and jump up and down in pain, because she needed to go so badly, she would collaps in pain, the doctors prescribed (Movicol) - its not a laxative but a stool softner, it helps get the stool to the right consistancy to make it easier for them to go.  it was very distressing but it was sorted very quickly, now she is 6 and rearly needs the Movicol, if she is having problems we use Pear juice sometimes which she loves, if that does not help we then go on to Movicol.  Hope this helps. 

With regards to dressing himself - DO NOT worry.  he is only 3 1/2 this is perfectly normal.  When you have more time, maybe at weekends try letting him dress himself and reward with a sticker or something, but dont rush him and don't worry, as I said my daughter is 6 and tells me that some children in her class can not dress them selves for P.E and the teachers help and the more able children help as well, which is really sweet!

Let him progress in his own time with a little help and encouragment from you, he will be fine and is doing fine.  It sounds like the nursery teachers just want an easier ride and its tough luck, its their job to help him and comfort him when he needs it. 

Good luck with everything and your new arrival.

Cate

I know, I broke into tears at my mom's and she just laughed at me, told me that I never started self-dressing till I was 6! She said as long as he is making an effort to help she doesn't see an issue and she raised five babies so I think I will just go with her judgment on the matter!

Not sure if this is called retention!

I agree it could be due to the new baby - it is very common!

I also agree it could be a fear, if maybe he has pooed and it hurt, tore him slightly (we've all had sharp poops!)  Can you check just inside his bum hole and see if there is a tear there!  this will be very sore and itchy and will be aggravated each time he goes - the dr can give you a cream for this to be healed!

I am shocked at your nursery - usually they are quite good at supporting your child with learning basic tasks and I feel they are pressuring you - whether they mean to or not they obviously make you feel judged!  3 1/2 is still quite young to be self-dressing!   My dd was almost 5 before she needed no help - I worried about her wiping her bum properly when she started school!

I think with all these new government guidelines in place it's so confusing to know when youa re doing right. One minute you are pushing them too hard and let them be kids, the next minute their telling me he's not good enough because he can't dress himself.

He was constipated in the past, once, but it was a loooong time ago, but as I mentioned the anxiousness could be aggravated as his little brother has major going issues and has been constipated from birth almost. When he was a baby we had to give his brother prunes and fresh OJ not even diluted and he would still be constipated, so I don't know if the behaviour is linked to the fact his little brother is now very vocal and will tell you how much he doesn't want to go potty.

As for the baby I have wondered, because my 3YO is very aware that there is another baby coming and we have tried to involve him as much as we can, taking him to scans etc and I do wonder if the needy attention seeking is something to do with another baby coming. It's just so hard to know what is normal development and what is a problem!

To me it sounds like he may have had a little constipation and when he went it hurt so this has made him scared to go so the longer he leaves it the more it'll hurt. Try offering fruit beginning with p ( pear, peach, prune ) this will help also get some lactoluse from your chemist it will help soften his poo a little making it easier for him to go. This could be why he's regressed emotionally he may have tummy ache. As for dressing i wouldn't worry. My dd1 was 4 last nov and i still help her get dressed sometimes. Mainly socks and the odd stuck arm but it can get confusing for them. Perhaps make a game of it with your younger one. See who can get dressed first etc.

Hi,

Didn't want to read and run - I haven't really got any answers but do you think he may be seeking attention knowing there is another baby on the way - I've heard this can cause regression

Hope someone comes along with some experience and guidance for you

All the best

Heya, I'm needing some advice regarding my son. He is 4 in June this year and I thought he was doing fine.

Our family setup is mummy, daddy, my eldest son who is the one I am writing about and a younger boy who is 2.5 years old and I'm also pregnant with a third baby. Both myself and their father attend university and on these days the boys go to a local daycare nursery which we are really happy with.

Lately I have noticed my son has stopped wanting to do number twos on the toilet. Well I say that, but he was potty trained very fast, and I mean literally within three days he was sleeping through the night without any accidents and using the toilet fine - but come to think of it he did have infrequent accidents with number twos even then; it was like when he needed to pee he would just go, but when he needed to poo you had to tell him to go and if you missed it, or didn't see the signs he would dirty himself.

Anyway, more recently he has been holding it in - the number twos I mean - until he gets himself really upset and then ends up screaming on the loo. I hate it, it makes me feel horrible as I feel like I can't help him. Worse the daycare have picked up on it now and are asking me to answer his behaviours. His brother did have constipation issues and bowel trouble when he was younger, but this has begun to improve so I don't think he has simply leached behavior from his younger brother.

Also the daycare are saying that he seems to be regressing emotionally - he wants a lot of attention and cuddles at the daycare and they are concerned that he cannot dress himself. Now this might be our fault as I have still been dressing him really, I let him help with the likes of t-shirts and jumpers but awkward things like socks I still just put on him.

I'm at my wits end as I feel like they are saying I am not doing enough for him, but for 3.5 I thought he was doing fine. It feels like it has come out of the blue and I don't really know what to think. What do you guys think?