hiya

who ever told u prem babys dont like being held is very very wrong as ive had 3 prem babys one at 36+3 weight was 5lb 1oz one at 36 +4 weight was 5lb 7oz and one at 35+3and he weighed 4lb 1oz  my smallest is now 8 1/2 months and all of them loved being held and i was incoraged to hold them as they were so small and so early may advise is to hold then as long as u want .

im sorry but i dont belive that my baby was prem 11 weeks early and she loved her cuddles i was allowed to hold her after 1 weeks and  teh nurse said she loves that she could tell by the heart monter. cuddles are good. and they love them,

hi it is true prem babies dont like being held they are sensative and have delicate skin they are still supossed to be growing inside

but kangaroo care for bigger babies is good

dont worry about development my triplets are nearly 3 and the 2 girls are a bit behind it is noticable

my lil boy is disabled so obviously has his problems

dont wory about it he will catch up all kids are different they are all GREAT AND ALL SPECIAL XXXXXXXXXXX

OMG!!!!  I can’t believe that they told you that.  my lo was born at 30+5 weighing 3lb and had so many problems to start with that we actually lost her for a while the day after she was born.  Because of her health I was unable to hold her for what felt like a lifetime but the nurses encouraged contact of any sort from the offset and as soon as she was well enough I had skin to skin contact with her at least twice a day.  I am convinced that this helped her to an extremely speedy recovery and we brought her home after 6 weeks weighing only 3lb 15oz but extremely healthly.  She is now nearly 9 months old and I constantly shower her in cuddles and have an exrtremely tactile relationship with her.  We have just been signed off from consultant care as she is thriving and again I put this down to the love and care she has at home.  She is your baby so give her as many cuddles as you want and don’t be afraid.  I am only speaking through experience but the advice you have been given is codswallop.  Enjoy her hun x x x x

CarlaK, your hv is talking tat! my baby was born at 30+6 weighing 2lb 10oz, she is now 8 week old and weighs 5lb 11oz and loves being cuddled.  they did get into a routine in scbu of feeding her and putting her back but once i got her home 3 weeks ago i got her into my own routine which includes lots of cuddles and she loves them. seriously, you do whats best for your baby, only you will know what they want and do as you need etc.. xx

aawwww ! Cuddle him as long as and often as you want after all you r his mummy and you know best!

My dd was born at 34 weeks weighing 5lb 7ozs and was in scbu for 7 days as she had fluid in her lungs (born by c-section) - i was allowed to hold her whenever i wanted and even daddy held her lots and had skin - skin (kangaroo care) It was lovely! if id have been told not to hold my daughter 'because prem babies dont like it'  id have had something to say!

A lot of premature babies smile, coo and roll over later than others born full term but they soon catch up and because they here before they should be, they seem to learn quicker! My daughter is so clever and picks up everything after seeing it only once! She is 16 months old and i swear she will be having a full blown conversation soon - she is an old woman lol She is now in her own bed in her own bedroom and sleeping 12-14 hours a night! She even wee weed in her potty yesterday lol

So hunnie dont worry and just do what u think is best - get bubs weighed regularly and youll see him coming on in leaps and bounds! Good luck for the future and if you need to chat you can pm me anytime

x x

well my daughter was 3lb 7oz and in SCBU we werent allowed to pick her up unless feeding time and it really broke my heart.

Instead we would stroke her and soothe her as best we could.

Shes going to be 4 next month and the tradition has  continued, she likes her hands and feet and anywhere stroked. Thats her comfort because thats what she felt when she was born and the days that followed.  Its the most loving bond I have with my daughter and would encourage anyone to do the same!

To the OP follow your own instincts! if you need help dont think twice, go ask for it but you do what you feel best first of all.

My daughter is my only child and we had so many difficulties (not health wise but just in normal things) and I always listened to the H.V's even if i wasnt too pleased about it and it just kept piling up on me!  I should have followed my own instincts and id have been a lot more of a happy mummy!

Give him some cuddles and enjoy him xxxxxxxx

HI

Ignore the stupid cow (excuse the language).  My little boy was born at 31+2 wks and has a kidney problem which makes his right side stick out quite prominatley(excuse the spelling) i was told to cuddle him as much as i wanted to as that is the way to bond with the baby.  He was 5 days old when i had my first cuddle + was in the nicu for 4 weeks but i got to hold him at every opportunity and this was usually the time when he settled he loves having cuddles, also my niece was born at 29wks + her mum + dad did whats called kangaroo care (skin to skin contact) from a day old, so the stupid old bat hasn't got a clue and should spend some time in the nicu and learn her profession again.

Get him out and cuddle, cuddle, cuddle!

My twins were born at 29 weeks and we were told not to stroke them but to use a firmer hand. We cuddled them as soon as they were well and the stroking thing only mattered until they were term (37 weeks).

Go get some cuddles

my hosp told me that holding them is best thing for them as well its how we got to know each other my little girl was 11 weeks early and each time i went to see her i could see she knew who i was and she held her arm out to me for me to pick her up and she cryed when i lefted her it was so heart breaking, so why your hosp told u they dont like been picked up is weird its sound to me they were just been lazy and didnt want to get your baby out for u to have a cuddle. id would have gone mad if i was told i couldnt give my angle a cuddle shes my little girl no ones tells me when i can and cant pick her up.

Actually, whoever told you about prem babies not liking being held is actually quite right but I think it refers to much smaller and more premature babies.  Of course kangaroo care is encouraged but I know the smaller ones are so sensitive that it's better to let them rest and sleep to help them grow.  They also don't like being stroked; better to hold them firmly ie. let them hold your finger rather than stroking their hand.  Cx

I'm glad you're going by your instincts now.  All the HV's I've come across are a load of crap and never give a straight answer to a question anyway so best off doing what you think's best.

They told me that prem babies are more sensitive to touch and don't like being held or stroked. I was really only holding him for his feed and if they were giving him drugs which was rather distressing.

I am home now though and I think what I need to do is do what I feel best ,so I had him out and about today and on his mat and he seems more lively and happy. I think its when your told something by a professional you take it for 100%. Doesn't help I have only had one visit from HV which was last week and she wasn't even the HV I will usually get.

do what u want hun  your the mother im guess the nurse just meant babs is in a routine if you start to pick up and cuddle you will have a big prob , they wont let u put them down ever  again. i did this with my 1st it took me 18 months to get him to sleep on his own it was very upsetting  and hard work i have 4 now the 4th is a prem she was born at 29 weeks shes now 16 weeks old, i will admit i do put them in bed with me at nite if they were unsettled . but due the day i let the other jsut have there bottle and lie them back down.

i was never told anything like that! i had my twins at 34+1 weeks weighing 4lb 6oz n 4lb 3oz they were in scbu 4 15 days n both were 4lb 6oz when they came home. when they were in the incubators we couldnt hold them a lot or 4 long as they couldnt keep their temperature n they had a lot of treatment 4 jaundice so didnt pick them up when they were under the lights but after they came out of heated cots, i used 2 hold them while they were being tube fed n tried bf, ds didnt learn 2 latch on till 3weeks old n didnt even take from a bottle till 10 days old n dd latched on 1st attempt a 3 days old but didnt take anything. she would always fall asleep on me n need topping up thru the tube so they were both on ebm by tube n bottle. dd got ill n went bk in2 hospital 4 5 days n the dr's wernt sure if she was gunna get better in the 1st 36 hours then all of a sudden she started 2 pick up n it took her a wile 2 get bk 2 ger normal self but at least she was home n ok.

dd craves attention she will scream so bad ud think there was someting seriously wrong but as soon as u pick her up she stops n just looks around with big wide eyes n is perfectly fine! she throws tantrums when i feed ds its like she knows he is getting attention not her! ds loves cuddles, he dosent cry 4 1 but he puts his arms up when he sees me n wraps his arms as far round my neck as he can n grabs hold of my top or my hair!!!! i remember when they was still in scbu i had tried 2 bf dd n she fell asleep n was put bk down n topped up n i was holding ds n trying 2 get him 2 latch on she was screaming so bad the nurse put her on my so she could letch on the other breast n she juse used me as a dummy n went 2 sleep! even now when she wont settle if i put her 2 the breast she goes 2 sleep n i dnt even bf any more!

xx

Prem babies LOVE to be held and many hospitals promote this by doing kangaroo care where parents have skin to skin contact with their prems because often this contact improves oxygen levels and calms baby, so what this midwife has told you is total rubbish.

As for what you need to do... just love your boy and accept that because he was a bit early he might be a tiny bit behind peers (eg smile a few weeks later) simply because he shouldnt yet be doing them.

I'm sure your lil one will be doing just fine, yet you will worry just cuz ya a mummy and mummies do worry if we do things right ;-)

Bianca

Mum to

Kayleigh* Born sleeping @21+6

Yoran Born at 30+2

Alyana Born at 28+5

OMG is that what you were told?  How dare she speak for all prem babies like that, what a load of complete rubbish!  What baby does not like to be held by it's mummy and daddy, it's the most natural thing ever.

That has mad me so angry sorry, do want you want, it's your baby and ignore that silly moo x

What rubbish! Are you sure the midwife said that? Prem babies LOVE being held, which SCBU would have encouraged, I'm sure! Prem babies need 'kangeroo care' which is when they're given skin to skin contact with their parents, even when still wired up or extremely tiny. Give your LO loads of cuddles and enjoy them - they grow up far too fast!

As for what to do to help, my DD was born at 34+1 and was in SCBU for 3 weeks with various complications. She was, at 5lb12oz, a healthy weight too, but that is irrelevant when they are ill. I would say that over the first few months she was quite obviously a wee bit behind other babies her age, and because she lost a lot of weight and was slow to regain it she seemed very small for her age. But as the months go on that has evened out. She is 9 months now and doing what other normal 9 month old babies do. In fact, she is more advanced in some ways than my son was at the same age. I've given up thinking of her in her corrected age, as it really isn't important any more. Obviously, for very prem babies, it would still be an important factor, but for babies like ours it all evens out fairly quickly. So try not to worry, your LO will be fine.

Hi all - had my wee boy early at 35+4 and he is now nearly 3 weeks old. I have only had one visit from my health visitor, who is not my actual HV she was just standing in and she really only went over paperwork.  

My wee boy was 6lb 9 when born, a healthy weight, but he had problems breathing and had jaundice, we have him home now and he is doing very well with his weight gain etc, he is lifting his head for a few seconds at a time and feeding/sleeping well.

I really just wanted to know do I need to do anything... silly question I know, but I am worried I am not doing enough to aid his development.

M/wife at hospital also said prem babies do not like to be held and so from day one after his feed I was told to put him back to his bed and I am now kinda scared to break this in case he does not like being held still....