mini's diary
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17/7/08 11:31
17/7/08 08:05
Aw hunni...was just popping to thank you for stopping by my diary... I am so so sorry to hear the sad news about baby Lily. I cannot imagine what her parents and the rest of you are going through. You are all in my thoughts and prayers hunni (((((HUGS))))) xxx
16/7/08 23:01
page 21 oh dear - thought i best retrieve my diary before the bounty moderators put it in the inactive bin.........

we had baby lily's funeral on friday and it was prob the saddest day of my life so far. Her parents are doing very well and uniting together and they have loads of support around them but it still doesnt make the enormity of what has happened any easier to take in iygwim.
Not much else to report if im honest, just really business as normal, work is manic at the moment and the days, weeks and months just seem to be flying in. I'm now another year older (36) and dont even want to acknowledge my age or the time ttc - i always get very down about ttc round about my birthday but hey ho time waits for no one as they say.
Stil keeping up with the healthy eating and my shape has defo changed for the better, even if i have reached another plateau for now with the weight loss i know things will kickstart again soon (maybe if i gorge on junk for a day my metabolism will restart..............

Finish up next friday for ten days holiday, off to a caravan (a luxury one of course haha) me and DH will have 4 days on our own and then we have friends/family joining us for 3 days and then i will have a couple of days at home to chill before i go back to work - cant wait for the break.
and
to allK xx
7/7/08 09:21
RIP Baby Lily even though your time here was short, you were loved by many and you will never be forgotten
(((((((((HUGS))))))) to you all xxx
7/7/08 09:14
awwww hun i am so sorry to hear about your loss. r.i.p little angel xxx
6/7/08 23:26
Baby Lily passed away tonight in her daddy's arms. RIP Little angel - we love you so much xxxxxxxxxxx
6/7/08 12:21
Hey Kerry
Sorry to hear about baby Lily. Sending lots of positive vibes in the hope that she makes a full recovery. Poor little thing! That must be very unuasual to get discharged from hospital so early, hwoever am glad to hear she's receiveing the best care now.
Hope you are well in yourself.
Lots of love L xx
6/7/08 02:08
hi girls , time i posted an update.........
well sadly baby lily is not doing so well, they were discharged 2 days post birth, last friday despite her being 4 wks premature and having turners syndrome. Mon morning she was rushed to hosp as she was very poorly, listless and erratic breathing, she is as i type in neo natal unit having had emergency surgery on thurs night. Just keeping everything crossed that she is strong enough. Her brain scan results so far have come back good, but she has cardio and kidney probs. But she is getting the best care and the dr's are delighted with the way she has responded to treatment -she is a wee fighter xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
to allK xxx
2/7/08 09:12
I hope you have had a little cuddle with baby Lily by now. She must be so tiny. I hope she is doing OK.
You were very brave surviving a christening. As much as I am in control of my emotions these days, a day surrounded by little ones would push me over the edge I think. It'll be your lo soon enough though who is getting all the attention and how proud will you be then when miniminihaha is in your arms.
I hope your hen do was fun and you were proudly showing off your new bod in your grass skirt.
Love and hugs Katxxx
27/6/08 19:53
I wish I had the get up and go like you have. I can't remember the last time I was in a size 14.
Have a great weekend and have a couple for me







, ((((((HUGS))))) and 

{bd]

as always xx27/6/08 18:29
hia babe, great news that she is okay xxxx
I know how hard it is being surrounded by babies so huge hugs xxxxxxxxxxx When Xander died I was pregnant the same time as 4 of my cousins, it's hard seeing their kids at parties etc, knowing that he should have been with them x
Good for you re the swimming, know what you mean about hungry, as I went swimming twice last week and I was starving, it worked though as lost 7lb, so good luck and keep at it xxxxxxxxxxxx
If you need to talk give me a shout xx
27/6/08 00:01
hey girls, thanks as always for your lovely posts - sorry i have been awol for a bit...xxxx
seem to have come to a bit of a standstill with the weight loss this last couple of weeks so i am trying to exercise more -been going swimming in the morning before work and omg all it does it make me hungrier lmfao xxx
Off to a hen night on sat - hawaiian theme - grass skirts and garlands at the ready - should be a good laff.
Our neices baby boy (7 months now - omg where has the time gone !!) got christened on sunday so it was a lovely family celebration day but omg i got so emotional in the church and then struggled for the rest of the day as i was just surrounded by families with kids and ladies with babies on the way.......but hey ho such is life.
Another piece of news - some may remember me posting recently to say that my sil's son and his fiancee were due a baby girl in july (at risk of turners syndrome) well...baby Lily arrived yesterday by emergency c-section, 4 wks early weighing 5lbs 6oz and so far doing really well and although i haven't seen her yet , my sources tell me she is just gorgeous. Am so glad she is here safe and sound and am hoping to visit her tomorrow.
to allK xx
24/6/08 21:18
Well done on your fantastic weight loss hunni!!


That is some achievement. Sorry not visited you for a while...there just don't seem to be enough hours in the day at the moment. Anyway, dropping off loads of 












for you hun, and I agree with the other girls - you will get your dream - you deserve it so much.
n (((((HUGS))))) xx22/6/08 20:10
Big Hugs Kerry.
Just popping in to say i do still read your diary and I am still with you on your journey xxx
36 is no age at all and i know you wont give up x
Lots of Love Lisa xxxx
22/6/08 11:23
Hi hun,
Just quickly popping in with some lucky


I totally agree with what Ali said in the previous post, you are strong to have gone through this for so long, i've only been ttc for 2 and a half years and you give me hope, (although my age doesn't, lol) but i do hope and pray that your long awaited bfp is on it's way, you really deserve it, ((((((((((hugs))))))))))22/6/08 09:43
Just wanted to congratulate you on your fantastic weightloss


There are things I want to say but just don't know how to express them in terms that make sense iygwim so I shan't even try, but let it be known that you are a very strong and sensitive person who deserves nothing but the best.
You will achieve your goal and when you do we will all be right behind you
Take Care






, ((((((((HUGS))))))))) and 





xx16/6/08 20:16
Sorry for butting in, I just wanted to say well done for getting into those size 14's!!!
I think you should be really pleased with yourself! I don't know your whole story, and I don't pretend to 'understand' but I know that your ttc journey has been a long one, I thought I'd let you know that my pal had her boys when she was 37 and 42 after 8 years of problems and she is a fab mum with loads of energy. I know you're down about your birthday coming up, but when your baby dreams come true - you'll still be you, and be able to give so much love, whatever age you may be.... 


16/6/08 19:57
Hey Kerry
I'm so pleased for you that your weight loss is continueing to be so successful. You've done and you're doing so so well. I think you should feel very proud that you have set yourself a goal and doing so well. On the ttc front, I still keep my fingers crossed for you every month that your turn will arrive and I truly believe that the weight loss will help you on your way to your dream and that any day soon, that dream will come true.
Take care honey. and as always heaps and heaps of babydust xx
15/6/08 15:55
First of all,


on the new dress size. I fab achievement for anybody but for somebody suffering the sadness you feel then I think it is really amazing. I have so much respect for you on just the weightloss thing.And as for coping, I don't know if its really coping either. What happens to you if you are not coping, you still have to get up every morning how ever you feel, so how do you know what is coping or not? Maybe some days you do cope and other you don't ....... I'm not sure. All I do know is you just have to keep on plodding. You get another notch on Kat's big respect chart here lol.
For 6 of your ttc years you have been treading water but not now, you are makig progress now and soon will be starting the next part of your journey, the one that in the end will give you your baby. What I really hope is that the years haven't stopped you being able to imagine what it will be like to hold your own baby. I hope you can imagine it just as I can for you.
((((HUGS)))) Katxxx
13/6/08 23:50
thanks for rescuing me from page 14 kalee xxxxxxxxxx and thanks for your motivation on the weight loss london xxxx - this week has been a bit of a struggle as i got AF last saturday and you know what its like when you feel crap you just want to eat chocolate and treats don't you?........but i have done well and managed to resist.
Well last weekend i just had the best time ever, was at the races for ladies day on saturday and then out on saturday night at a bbq as the weather was just fab. Sunday i was looking after my brothers 2 kids and omg they ran me ragged but we had a fab time at our local country park playing frisbee and rounders and we had a picnic so it was a really lovely time.
TTC is as always weighing heavy on my mind, with my 36th birthday approaching i just feel very aware of my achievements in life and the missing link as always is our lack of success in ttc. I always get like this when it comes near my birthday as its yet another reminder of another year gone by , and so many good/bad things have happened yet the constant factor seems to be that its another year gone by and still no slightest hint of a bfp. Some days i feel like the ache to become a mother is dwindling and then other days i feel like my heart will burst with the hurt and pain. A friend of mine asked me the other day how i coped as she knows our situation and can relate to a certain extent (they were ttc#1 for 3 years and conceived naturally just before their planned ivf attempt) The answer i gave her was tbh i dont know how i cope , or if i am even coping, perhaps i am just in denial and going through the motions............I dont have a script to tell me how to cope after 7 years ttc#1 - all i know is i cant give up. I guess i am just having an off day and need to post how i feel in my diary - whilst dh is great on supporting me there are just some feelings that need to be offloaded on bounty !!





















Just dropping in with

and ((((HUGS)))
Thinking of you all xx