MY NEXT ADVENTURE-SAMMY
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- MY NEXT ADVENTURE-SAMMY
21/11/08 16:19
20/11/08 18:01
just popping in with a update.......
still waiting to go breast clinic next thursday-tbh 1 day i feel a lump,the next i dont-a few days later i feel it so am not worried atall,if anything it may be a side effect from being on clomid so bleeding long or just a cyst-im truly not worried but still best to get it checked.(seemed to be constantly there run up to period so maybe that was hormonal)
for once in my life i seem to be getting some luck,theres things going on in my personal life(not to bore you with all the details id be here forever)which have drastically turned around for example,dan started a new job and has been took on permanently which was a worry especially at this time of year as its a great company so im no longer worrying about that/him.
i seen a physcic(i know some dont believe but i like to hold on to some hope),and at the time of me seeing her she predicted things that were to happen,well,in the space of 3 weeks 3 things that she predicted have come true??the only thing that hasnt come true is she said id be preg for twins in around 6months time(obviously im not preg with tiwns)but i seen her in may-were now nov so its exactly 6months since i seen her and as the other 3 things have came true in the past 3 weeks-im a little frieked out about it.wether it be my bfp on my last cycle of clomid(which would be a true miracle and very doubtful)maybe iui might actually be the one for me.........she still may be right.
the 3 other things shed predicted was our housing situation(correct),a insurance scam against me and dan from a car incident where the other party claimed everything they could with a payout of thousands and weve managed to prove theyve lied (she was correct again-and a huge relief as we were not in the wrong)and the 3rd was dans job-he took it on till oct yet company have kept him permanently(shocking but true again)-so these were major events not just everyday life and she was right on every one-please lets hope and pray the last one comes true too-i might just fall off my chair,we shall see......
wether or not i get my bfp-i have had a huge weight lifted off my shoulders that have been there for over a year-for that i am much happier and content-things can only get betterxx
13/11/08 07:33
arghhhh girls ty for your replies-bless you allxx
looking back on that post it seems now that i was frustrated because of how dan was reacting and also just finished my tablets yesturday and although its doubtful i will get a bfp this month because its the end of a long journey with clomid i think that too had got to me abit.well we have finally had a adult conversation about it and it seems all his problems were was that he doesnt want the whole family knowing all our business,which i can understand and thats partly my fault because EVERY1 did know all about the clomid and we have had no end of questions esp from his/my mum even asking when im due on-so completley understand now where hes coming from.
we have decided not to say a word about it-i said to my mum yesturday that we need a break from all of this treatment and will decide later on(in a yr or two)wether we go for further treatment,i feel abit bad for telling porkies but dans feelings are more important and it will be nice not to have to explain everything and keep it our little secret-esp if we do go on to get bfp.........then i might tell the truth.
im feeling alot better about it all now as our app on 11th is just going to be talking about what happens and finding out all about iui-i think im gonna need the test done on my tubes again as they never done it this time round-think surely they will have to see if all is ok before we proceed any further.
thanks again for posts it means alot.........gotta go jaidan is in the kitchen doing something with a loud bang????
12/11/08 21:13
Hey Sammy,
Don't worry hun, I know exactly how you feel. sometimes it does feel like us oldies are stuck here on Bounty and all the newbies are here for such a short time in comparison, but at the same time, it does fill me with hope after someone else gets a BFP.
Try not to worry about DH...it certainly isn't worth rowing. This whole Fertility treatment can put such a strain on your relationship. Men in particularly don't seem to handle it as well as we do. I think its something in their genes
They seem to keep everything inside and don't talk about anything. Maybe your DH just needs a bit of time to get things clear in his head. Anyway, I'm sure everything will be ok hun...just try not to argue.Love and kisses,
Scarlett xxxxxxxxxxxx
11/11/08 22:34
don't usually post on your diary so i hope you don't mind me posting! Just wanted to say good luck! I agree with the last poster-its not worth getting into a row with your dp for. Men somehow feel they are not a man if they can't get their partners pregnant-he CERTAINLY won't feel embarrassed about you having fertility issues. Men are not as good at us at sharing problems and he probably would like just you guys to know about the iui to take the pressure off, you know so everyone is not always asking questions about how things are doing! Lets hope your last clomid cycle works and you don't have to go though it but focus on the iui and tell yourself you are going to have a rest from thinking about things till after Christmas and just enjoy your partner and lovely little boy!
11/11/08 21:43
hunni,ope things get sorted re: lump. I had a lump just vbefore i fell with desiree.. they did some tests and it turned out that i had an over active prolactin gland or something along those lines and it was also affecting my ttc. I really hope it all goes okay.
Re: dan, try not to get too upset. i know it is easier said than done but its just cos blokes have this 'thing' about being able to make children (so Mark has told me???) and it is making him just as frustrated as you but he can't ecxpress it the way u can and i mean, blokes don;t have their bounty mates to help them let off steam and express their emotions do they?
i hope things start to look up for you. you have had such a rough time, its your turn for some good luck. XX
11/11/08 18:38
hi girls,
alison lovely to see you here hunni-hope you are okxxscarlett,ty hun for checking up on me,seems so many of my 'original buddies' are long gone iykwim and my diary seems to get lost sometimes amongst all the new diaries that come along-i suppose thats part of being here so long.
well,i have my appointment for breast clinic on the 27th,am so pleased its arrived because with my app to see fert consultant on the 11th-i shall know if its ok to proceed with iui-but then there is abit of concern reg that..........
although dan knew it was coming it seems the day i rang and booked app i told him-he never said to much,then the days following hes been abit distant-in the sort of way hes been quiet,then saturday i tried to talk about what will happen with iui treatment(not that i know anything apart from what ive read off net)and his face said it all(didnt want to discuss it)so that automatically started a row.
the weekend was then spent with me in a mood because i was disgusted with his reaction.
then yesturday i usually speak to him throughout the day while hes at work and i heard sod all from him,then when he came home he actually said yes i do want to go ahead with iui but can we not tell anyone-which again sent me raging because ffs it aint my fault we are having to go down this route-we know nobody close-friends or family who have been through anything similar so i think he thinks were abnormal iykwim......but then the whole family knew about clomid and asked ques so can sort of understand but what does he want me to do-go through it alone??
i am screaming inside because i never realised he was feeling so ashamed at me having fertility issues that i cant get pregnant as i would wish i could-also for being so finkg bothered about anyone finding out-i just dont know-is it because he aswell as me never thought wed get to this point,but yes although we have jaidan he wasnt concieved through the 'normal way'-i am not too sure what to think-he needs to sort out his issues cause the way i feel i think hes being very self centered-after the fking yr ive been through i cant believe he is being such a idiot-its took alot for me to accept clomid hasnt worked but then at the same time ive prepared myself for this.......maybe he hasnt.
i really want to discuss this with him but cant bring myself to get into another row-can you believe this cause i cant
11/11/08 18:38
hi girls,
alison lovely to see you here hunni-hope you are okxxscarlett,ty hun for checking up on me,seems so many of my 'original buddies' are long gone iykwim and my diary seems to get lost sometimes amongst all the new diaries that come along-i suppose thats part of being here so long.
well,i have my appointment for breast clinic on the 27th,am so pleased its arrived because with my app to see fert consultant on the 11th-i shall know if its ok to proceed with iui-but then there is abit of concern reg that..........
although dan knew it was coming it seems the day i rang and booked app i told him-he never said to much,then the days following hes been abit distant-in the sort of way hes been quiet,then saturday i tried to talk about what will happen with iui treatment(not that i know anything apart from what ive read off net)and his face said it all(didnt want to discuss it)so that automatically started a row.
the weekend was then spent with me in a mood because i was disgusted with his reaction.
then yesturday i usually speak to him throughout the day while hes at work and i heard sod all from him,then when he came home he actually said yes i do want to go ahead with iui but can we not tell anyone-which again sent me raging because ffs it aint my fault we are having to go down this route-we know nobody close-friends or family who have been through anything similar so i think he thinks were abnormal iykwim......but then the whole family knew about clomid and asked ques so can sort of understand but what does he want me to do-go through it alone??
i am screaming inside because i never realised he was feeling so ashamed at me having fertility issues that i cant get pregnant as i would wish i could-also for being so finkg bothered about anyone finding out-i just dont know-is it because he aswell as me never thought wed get to this point,but yes although we have jaidan he wasnt concieved through the 'normal way'-i am not too sure what to think-he needs to sort out his issues cause the way i feel i think hes being very self centered-after the fking yr ive been through i cant believe he is being such a idiot-its took alot for me to accept clomid hasnt worked but then at the same time ive prepared myself for this.......maybe he hasnt.
i really want to discuss this with him but cant bring myself to get into another row-can you believe this cause i cant
11/11/08 11:51
Hi Sammy
Sorry not been around much lately. Really sorry to see the clomid has not worked for you this time, I've been keeping my fingers crossed for you. Hopefully when you go to see the consultant on the 11th December things can start to move for you with IUI.
I'll keep my fingers crossed for you as well in regard to your lump in your breast. Do you have an appointment yet, I know in my local area they work pretty fast, as a few years ago I found a lump and was seen within weeks, luckily for me it was nothing to worry about so I hope its the same for you.
Alison
9/11/08 10:18
Hi Hun,
Sorry I've not been on Bounty for a few days...I just decided to keep away for a while. I'm so pleased to hear that your IUI will be starting soon. at least you will be one step closer to that BFP that you so long for.
Hun, I'm so sorry to hear about the lump in your breast. I think you're doing the right thing by getting it checked out and hopefully sorted before you start IUI. You really don't need any additional stress on top of your fertility treatment. I hope and pray that its down to the drugs that you've been taking. (I've never been on Clomid so don't know anything about it). I will be keeping my fingers crossed that its nothing serious. I do know how stressful it can be....my little sister found a lump in one of her breasts....but thankfully it turned out to be a cyst. Hopefully it will be the same for you.
Love and kisses,
Scarlett xxxxxxxxxxxxx
7/11/08 15:25
following my post this morning-i rang the hospital and have got an appointment for 11th dec @ 9.55am to get the ball going with iui-its only discussions but tomorrow is officially my last clomid cycle-woohooooooooooooooo
thank bloody god,as u know ive had my ups and downs but am so so so excited to be heading onto the next chapter of this horrendous journey-im full of new hope now so fingers crossed my consultant can get the ball rolling for begininng of janxxxxxxxx
7/11/08 07:36
hiya girls,
thankyou for your posts and sorry ive not been on to do much updates.
period arrived this morn,bang on time so at least 1 good thing is they are very reg at the moment,think though when clomid stops i may go abit off track again.ive had abit on my mind as ive had a lump in 1 of my breasts for a couple of months now-have been to the dr 2 weeks ago and shes ref me to the hospital-she did say that with being on clomid so long and with my hormones all over the place this could be the reason for the lump(of course it might not be the case)but have been very scared about it and still havent heard anything from the breast clinic.i really just want the app to hurry up so i can get this out the way because obviously i need this sorted out before i sort out my iui-which im really hoping will be done for january.
hopefully i will get my app rather soon for breast clinic so as soon as its sorted(i.e them telling me its cyst or grissle)then i can start organising iui with the hospital.
there is always something that pops up but on the serious side i have been really worried and just want it sorted out-will let you know how i get onxx
5/11/08 21:00
sorry i've not been about babes but i have been thinking of you. i am sorry to hear that you are feeling the way you are but i really hope things go well for yo over the next few months. ja would be a great time to start a new treatment in a way - new year, new start. i continue to wish you well on your journey and will be back soon.. i promise. XX
27/10/08 08:52
Hey Sammy,
I'm so sorry to hear you've been through such a tough time over the past couple of months (((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))
I'm glad to hear that you are feeling a little bit more positive now though. I think its that initial feeling of having to accept that we need to try something else to help us get our BFP's that can be so hard. I remember how gutted I was when I found out we would need to have ICSI, but after a couple of months of feeling sorry for ourselves, we started to feel really excited about starting our treatment and couldn't wait to get started.
Anyway, I wish you all the luck hun....
Love Scarlett xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
24/10/08 18:55
here we are again-these months seems to be flying by and 2 weeks of it im a emotional mess cause ive had period and clomid taking-the next 2 weeks is ovulation and hoping.......
ive learned alot these past couple of months with the ways ive been feeling and wondering what to do for the best reg iui,having a break and all the emotions between,but having thought long and hard and speaking with dan(and knowing all he wants is for me to be happy,yes and wanting another baby himself)ive decided for sure ill be ringing my consultant and req her to make the arrangements for me to start iui hopefully january-as we are paying there is no waiting list and last time we spoke about it she said she was in discussions with the pct that she will be able to care for us ladies who are under her care already who undergo iui/ivf as before now ladies have had to go to private/other nhs hosptials when paying for treatment-as ive known her for over 6 yrs id feel more comfortable with her taking care of me reg iui but ill have to wait to see what happens-def going to go for it come the new yr and hopefully new start/new luck.feeling more positive and full of new hope i think it was just expecting bfp and knowing my luck had run out sort of fckd me up-sorry for language but only way i can describe it-oh well if period comes next week im another step closer to iui-bring it onxx
22/10/08 07:24
ty minnie,i do watch your progress and seen that your awaiting treatment-i hope your right hun that next year will be the one for us both-it just seems the months quickly roll into years and i know im so so lucky to have jaidan-i just find it alot harder ttc this time round i think its because id convinced myself clomid would work and cause it hasnt im now convincing myself something else is wrong??
thanks again for posting hun and i really hope you get your bfp hun........surely its a matter of timexx
21/10/08 20:53
Hi Sammy,
Sorry I have not posted in ages hun. I remember u from the clomid boards. Sorry to hear ur still suffering the pain of not conceiving. Im still ttc too, it can really get us down sometimes.
Just wanted to let u know I will also be starting treatment in the new yr. Were not sure what treatment until DH does his sample. Lets hope this is the step that will get us our take home babies hey.
((((((((HUGS)))))), hope u feel better soon.
Min xxx21/10/08 18:00
hi girls-sorry ive not posted but didnt really wanna see such misery that i posted last time-god i feel a prat reading that back but after such heartache i couldnt help but post it.my feelings are much the same that i know were gonna need iui-i know im not gonna get bfp as almost 12 months on clomid the hope went out the window ages ago.although i couldnt help but be optimistic
i just wanna get the next 2 months out the way as weve decided to go for iui after christams-i know i said i didnt know what to do but that was because i was so low and being fed up with ttc that i couldnt bear any more bfn-but we all know it might just bring me that bfp so sod it im ready-it really hurts the longer its going on and i dont think ive ever felt so sad over it all if that makes sense-ill keep bumping over the next couple of months but am hoping the new yr brings me better luckxxx
21/10/08 15:59
Hi hunnie,
sorry i aint been around much lately, but i started a new job this week so i should have more time.
I really hope you are feeling better since your last posts, as with many others i really don't think there is anything i can say to make you feel any better, but am always here to listen to (read) your rants and to know i have loads of cyber hugs {{{{{hugs}}}}}.
Take care for now and know that no matter what, we are all here for you. Now am rambleing again lol
. xx
xx 13/10/08 16:49
Hey Sammy,
How are you feeling? I hope you're feeling a bit better today. Big {{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}} honey
Love and kisses,
Scarlett xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
still on top of the world and believe good things come to those that wait!!!
i feel its almost time for me to announce some good news........watch this spacexx