JFC`s IUI Diary
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- JFC`s IUI Diary
5/9/08 16:50
5/9/08 16:25
Wow, well the nurse has called me back already! The consultant has reviewed my file and wants to see me & DH again so we can discuss where we go from here.
So my guess is that means he will suggest IVF. I think as the 3 IUI attempts have been textbook that he'll probably see further IUI attempts as just wasting time. Which is ok by me since I have that maternal family history of early menopause. So, having had the day to get used to my BFN and think things through, I'm happy to go with IVF as soon as the list allows for it. I had thought I would wait until March at least to start the treatment but I've decided to just go for it at the earliest opporunity.So, I shall let you know when my appt will be! Thanks again for all your support!
xx5/9/08 14:03
Thanks Kat & Jo.
LMAO @ the ppl of Crete not being ready for me & DH! Probably not, poor folks!
I'm going to get my neighbour to teach me some Greek before I go, that should embarrass the hell out of DH! It'll amuse me no end though! I love attempting to order something in another language I've not mastered! I'm a sucker for accents, bet I can get us a free drink at least by making the effort with a waiter who appreciates it! Right, I'm back to feeling positive. A BFN is nothing more than a minor blip and I'm not beat yet!
Love to you all! You're all fantastic! xxxx
5/9/08 13:11
Hi JFC
I am so sorry hun I was secretly hoping for you too (or maybe not so secretly) {{{{{hugs}}}}}. You always amaze me with your positivity and will to look to the future and make the most of what you do have in your life.
Your clinic sound as though they are really good and want to do what is best for you. It is so important to have faith in your clinic as it will give you such confidence. Hopefully you will have a plan of action soon and you can have some months off the treatment rollercoaster and enjoy yourself.
I think a cuddle with that little pug will help no end and then a huumungous glass of wine and a big cuddle from DH.
You have had a lot of knocks the last few months with ongoing treatment and I think you deserve to let your hair down on holiday and enjoy every second of it. I do wonder if the people of Crete are ready for you and your DH though. Maybe we should send a warning in advance!
Take care hun and I am thinking of you. Roll on the weekend so you can have some you time with DH. Big {{{{hugs}}}}}
Jo x
5/9/08 13:08
I'll not say anything so you have some hope of stopping the tears but I am thinking of you.
Just hang in there, and be brave for just a few more hours and then you can pour it all out in MrCaz's arms and into a large glass of vino.
Lots of love,
Katxxx
5/9/08 12:22
Thanks so much Kat.
I've just had a call from the fertility nurse. She asked was I feeling ok etc, and asked if I'd had any thoughts of what I wanted to do next. I said I really don't know what to do, I don't know what would be best. So she's going to have the consultant look over my file and they will call me back some time soon to discuss the next step. Whether that be to continue with IUI for a while longer or move on to IVF, we shall see. I think her call has brought out the emotion in me now and I am struggling so badly I can't see the keyboard for the blurry eyes. I can't cry at work, not again. I have to go to court later to file some papers so that's good, I can get out of the office for a short while. The nurse was so lovely, and to know that they even care what I want to do next is so fab. But it's made me cry, lol! Well, I hope to get a call from them before my holiday on the 16th, I'd really like to know what their plans are before I go away. I'm sure they'll call before then, they've really been so good.
Seriously, I have to stop the tears!!!!!!!!!!
5/9/08 11:36
And don't be cross with yourself. The only way to get through all this is to keep hold of that hope for as long as you can
5/9/08 11:31
((((((HUGS))))))) I'm so sorry JFC. I'm not going to fill your diary with kind words that will make you cry at work. I am always big and brave until somebody says something lovely and thats it, I'm in bits lol, so I will spare you that. You know how truely sad I am for you I hope anyway.
As for having to wait a few months for IVF, thats no bad thing I don't think. It lets you straighten your head, grieve a little, have some fun and then refocus on your next journey. You will be brighening my day with happy news one day soon I'm sure of it.
For now, have a good old cuddle, a bit of a sob and an emormous glass of wine. I hope to be reading about hangovers next week
and (((HUGS))) to keep you going until you can snuggle up with MrJFC later. I hope your day goes quickly so you can get home soon.Katxxx
5/9/08 10:31
Morning ladies
It's a BFN.
I'm feeling a little down but not too bad. I haven't had a cry yet or anything, I think instead I'll spend this evening cuddled up with DH on sofa with an enormous glass of wine! I have to let the hosp know so I'll bugger off now to email them. I guess it's on to IVF for me then. It'll be a good 3/4 months away yet though so maybe that'll be time for me to just relax and forget about TTC. I need a break from the disappointment. I am annoyed at myself because I was inwardly and secretly optimistic this time. I had different cramps than usual and on odd cycle days for me, so I held onto a glimmer of hope. 
Oh well, I always knew IUI was a very long shot. Sorry to be so miserable and sorry I can't brighten anyone's day. It's a miserable day weather wise and a miserable day emotion wise. I'll be glad when it's over tbh. Tomorrow we are having dinner with our neighbours and I intend to get a little sozzled while we play some board games, lol! We are a bit sad, we love our games! 
Might have to pop next door to my other neighbour later, I'm sure havign a cuddle with her Pug pup will lift my spirits. On the plus side of the BFN, I suppose is the knowledge I can go to Crete and let loose.
And I intend to do just that. 1st holiday for over 3 years so I will eat all the seafood I can stuff in my face and drink as much wine as I want! Anyway, I want to again thank you all for always being here for me, for being the best support a stressed out girl could have and for the wonderful and in advance for the kind words that I know always follow a BFN announcement.
I'll still be around to send love and
to everyone, you won't be getting rid of me any time soon, lol! But for now, I'm going to go and take my mind off all this so I don't end up a blubbering wreck at work. Love to you all. xxxx5/9/08 07:26
Hi JFC hope your BFP comes today... sending you lots of luck and wishes xx tinker
5/9/08 07:03
I really really really really really hope you are on here soon to fill my day with happy news.
I hope you make it on soon, my work rate is terrible when I have to type with my fingers crossed!
Lots of luck and BFP wishes coming your way,
katxxx
4/9/08 21:18
You have done so well to not test hun. I have also heard of people having vivid dreams before BFP - I hope this is the same for you.
Good luck for the morning
4/9/08 15:12
LOL! I like your theory Kat, but I do tend to have some strange dreams at times! I have a strange mind! But just for fun, let's hold on to your theory at least until tomorrow.
4/9/08 14:39
I really hope it was a miniJFC that caused your dream. If not, then I suspect it is probably the warped mind :P
4/9/08 14:35
Maybe your wierd dream was due to crazy hormones flying round. I have read loads of threads about women having odd or really vivid dreams just before their BFP. Myabe it was a miniJFC that caused it. Ooooooooooh I hope so.
Katxxx4/9/08 14:32
Thanks so much ladies!
I think I'm worrying too much about it. Typical me! 
On the plus side, Barts exceeds the national average success rate for IVF so once I overcome my nerves about the whole process I will be very positive about being successful.
Well, tonight my mind will be kept off the hpt as I'm helping a friend move (I won't lift anything too heavy! I'm more the get away driver, lol!) so I'll be kept busy! Funny how I had an urge to test yesterday and now I just don't want to for fear of another BFN! Oh well, not much choice, lol!
As for the dream, friggin' beats me too! I either have one hell of a warped mind, have psychic abilties, or I'm far too easily influenced by tragic news stories! I'm hoping it's the last one but am fearful it could be the first!
Right then, positive thinking, positive thinking, positive thinking!
Thanks again for always being here for me! xx
4/9/08 14:17
Hey JFC just popping on to see if you had managed to resist! Well done you.
Oh my goodness what a terrible dream. I have no idea what a dream Dr would make of that! The crazy dark mind of JFC hey!
Kat is right the thought of IVF is far worse than the actual process. Right now though lets concentrate on that HPT that is calling you for tomorrow morning and all being well IVF will be a far off distant memory.
Try and relax tonight and
for tomorrow hun. Jo x4/9/08 13:17
Hopefully this time tomorrow you will be able to forget about IVF. I have everything crossed for you in the morning.
The thought of IVF really is much worse than actually going through it I promise you. If I can say that, after my near deadly 2nd cycle and a row of BFNs, then it must be true. If it comes to IVF you'll do just fine. I really hope though that its not something you ever have to think about. I'm so sure the rollercoaster has done the trick this time.
Katxxx4/9/08 11:39
OMG, I forgot to tell you about my dream last night! It was bloody awful!
I dreamt about a murder! Not mine, nor anyone I know. Just strangers, a young girl murdered by 2 men for no reason. It wasn't a particularly violent murder (as in stabbing/shooting etc) but as she was only young (maybe 15) it was just horrible. The dream went right through to a court case!
Now, how seriously screwed in the head am I?!!!
4/9/08 10:31
Good morning!
I did resist testing, lol! I actually didn't even think about it this morning, before I knew it I'd already been to the loo so there was no going back!
If I'm honest, I don't believe I am pg, but I'm open to hope for the remainder of the day anyway, lol. Oh the Pug, yes, aren't they just the most gorgeous little wrinklies!! I adore puppies, all puppies, but especially wrinkly ones!
I am praying that between now and the time I should be starting IVF that I manage to fall pg. I am scared of going down the IVF road, even though I know that it's most likely to give a successful result. I think I'm terrified of all the injections and the EC mostly. I think all of you who've done it are so brave. I guess come the time I'll just have to suck it up!
Right, well, I'd better go, I'll speak to you all later no doubt, and if not then I will of course let you know tomorrow's hpt result.
Love to all! xx
Wow that was quick. It is a really good thing to see your consultant rather than keep going for IUI I guess he will be able to discuss some stats with you and then you can all make the decision what is best to do.
JFC you are a wonder but don't forget it is OK to feel sorry for yourself and take some time to be sef indulgent. We all do it!
If you are anything like me though having something to aim for helps me get over a BFN and I think that strong positive attitude is what will get you your BFP. It will not dare to not show up! Although IVF is a tough ride you have good odds of it delievering and it will be well worth it in the end.
I think I am going to start a JFC fan club! You rock my girl!!!