Dawn`s ICSI diary
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- Dawn`s ICSI diary
22/11/08 10:52
22/11/08 09:49
Hi Dawn,
Sorry things have changed a little, but only by 1 day so hopefully not too much upset. Sounds like you have a good number of eggs though and quantity doesn't necessarily mean they're not going to be good quality. My friend had 35, she egg shared, and of her 17, she had 2 great graders but back and got a BFP and has 5 on ice!! so try not to worry too much, although I know at this stage, you worry about everything.
Sounds like you had a good night out and sometimes does you good to go out with people who don't know everything that's going on as gives you "time out".
Hope you enjoyed your massage and that you have a great weekend, but don't be working too hard on Sunday, you need your energy for next week.
Sending your follies some final
.X
22/11/08 08:55
Change of plan! Had a phone call from the clinic late yesterday afternoon to say that my oestrogen level is high and the professor wants me to go for ec on tuesday after all - I think the worry is that I might overstimulate if they keep me going with the stims. So I am quite pleased, but also now a bit worried that I might have lots of eggs that go to waste because they are not mature enough.
LOL...I am never happy!Anyway, I have to go over to the clinic this morning to pick up my trigger injection - feel quite excited now - nearly there!! Am definitely starting to feel a bit bloated. I went out with some work colleagues last night - was a bit apprehensive because it was the first time I had been out with them(just started the job in July). Also was sure people were going to comment that I was driving, and wonder why. I needn't have worried because it turned out to be a really excellent night and I was one of the last to leave! In fact I almost went dancing! However, I thought better of it at the last minute, and decided to come home instead - think it was a good move!
Have a massage arranged for today, then going for lunch with dh's aunt, who is a good friend - then her and dh and 3 children are staying the night tonight. So it should be a nice weekend. Working on sunday backshift, but that will take my mind off things.
Hope everyone else has a good weekend
21/11/08 11:43
I've re-read and realise we're not quite the same - I've not got that many follies and they aren't as big as yours but we're the same with regards to scans, dates, etc. Speak later hun xxxxxx
21/11/08 11:29
Hi Dawn! Hope you’re ok xxx You won’t believe this but I think I’m exactly the same!!! Just got back and feel EXACTLY the same as you!! They are ringing me later but she thinks I’ll be in for another scan Monday with EC on Wednesday - how spooky is this!! We are proper buddies!!! LOL. We should just think that those extra couple of days means more time for our eggs to mature giving us better chances - that’s how I’m looking at it anyway - will let you know for sure later. Have a good day hunni xxxxxx
21/11/08 09:52
Hi Girls
Just an update on my scan. It's all a bit of a blur but I think I had 2 at 18mm, 2 at 14mm, 3 at 12mm, and another 9 of 10mm or above. I also had about 10 small ones on each ovary which they didn't measure. So overall I seem to have more follicles than last time. In fact I seem to have rather a lot - so I'm hoping I don't over-stimulate.
Because the other thing is, they are bringing me back for another scan on Monday. I had thought I would be for ec on monday or tuesday, but they said because I don't have many mature follicles, it will be better to keeps on the stims over the weekend and scan again on Monday. Hopefully then they will give me the hcg for monday night, and ec on wednesday. I think my scan on Monday might show quite a lot of big follicles!I know it's silly but I had a bit of a wobbler in the car park afterwards - I was so geared up for ec on monday or tuesday. I know a day or two doesn't make any difference, but I just felt that I knew exactly what was happening, and when it was happening, and now it's all changed. Also I feel really bad that I have to keep changing my days off work. I feel like every time I have an appointment at the clinic I have to then go back to work and say that I need different days off - they are being so good about it, but I know it's really disruptive.
Anyway, on a much more positive note, it seems that I might get more eggs this time. I know it's all about quality not quantity, but it would be nice to have the option of freezing some embryos this time.
Right off to get ready for work. Hope everyone has a good day.
20/11/08 21:06
Good luck for your scan tomorrow hun
xxxxx
20/11/08 21:06
Hi Dawn,
So sorry that you have been feeling understandably down. I have felt how you describe so many times over the past 5years. I have a friend who started ttc after me and in that time has had 1 daughter, lost a fallopian tube and cyst, had a 2nd pregnancy but miscarried at 11weeks and then has now had a baby boy...and I'm like come on me, still going round in circles. I know she's had some bad times and I wouldn't wish it on anyone but she only started after I told her we were and so it was like aaaaarrrrgh this is so not fair!!
But anyway, we will all get what we deserve on here, we just have to wait that little bit longer, but it will be all the more special when it happens. You are so allowed those down days, it's better to get it out rather than leave it festering inside. Coming on here to do just that is great. Makes you feel normal(ish) aswell.
I agree with your comments too about 2nd time cycle, I was so much more relaxed this time. Basically just because I knew what to expect and where the hurdles where and my expectations were not as high.
I truly hope that tomorrow you have lots of healthy juicy follies to tell us about, so lots of luck and
.
Suzie X20/11/08 19:18
Hi girls
Thanks so much for your posts. I feel a little better today. I was just so upset on tuesday a because all I could see in front of us was endless family get-togethers and special occasions where everything is focussed on the babies, and we are on the sidelines. dh's brother already has a little boy who is only 3 months older than our baby would have been - it's already really hard, so I don't know what it will be like when we are the only childless ones.
Anyway I need to keep up with my PMA, and just focus on our treatment. I'm hopeful that by the time the baby is born we will be well on the way too.Having said all that, I am actually feeling quite relaxed. Last time I found all the waiting a nightmare, I was so impatient - this time I am going with the flow much more. I know how long each stage is going to take, and there is no point obsessing about it. I just need to be patient. Also, I know from last time how difficult the 2ww is, so I am not in any rush to get to that stage! Have my scan at 8am tomorrow, then have an acupuncture session before work. Will get our date for ec - have a feeling it will be tuesday because thats the way it worked out last time.
OK - will post tomorrow hopefully with good news from my scan.
Positive vibes and
to everyone. 19/11/08 20:19
Dawn, hope today has been a little easier for you - and you have managed to get your PMA back. It's such a hard journey we are on - I think we all have our really down days and thank goodness we can come on here and rant or cry, there is always someone who can relate to you and chat.
Sending you
(((HUGS))) and plenty of ++++++++++++++++++++++ vibes to get you stored up again - not long til Friday chick and we'll we'll have some answers - woohoo!!!! xxxxxxxx19/11/08 12:52
Hi Dawn,
Sorry to hear you had a bad day yesterday - I think everyone on here probably knows exactly how you are feeling - I have cried on many occasions when family and friends have announced their pg...some even the 2nd one in my ttc time. Allow yourself a little time to get all the emotions out then try and get the PMA back hun - you are doing so well and need to concentrate on growing your follies so they are big and healthy on Fri ready for ET and EC and to give you your bfp!
Sending you lots of PMA and follie dust!
xxxxxx
19/11/08 09:37
Dawn I know exactly how you feel on this one ( as we all do I am sure ). Jealousy is such a horrible negative emotion that can creep up on us at any time and with what we are going throug it is only natural to be like this. LIfe is being so unfair to all of us making us wait this long, whilst constantly putting ou friends, celberities, family members right under our noses with their bumps and babies.
Does your sister in law and her hubby know about you and that you are ttc going through IVF? If so, they probably were very anxious about telling you - I know alot of my friends have said to me that it was realy hard to tell me ( as they know what we are going through ). I know what you mean about predicting that people are going to tell you. I do that all the time now so much so dh and I have turned it into a bit of a game 'Guess who's going to announce their pregnancy next?!' I know it sounds a bit sick but its our way of dealing with it and turning it into a bit of a laugh for us.
To be absolutely honest though, your friends and family will love you to bits and wouldnt want to see you in pain. I have found it easiest to get through the jealousy by being open with those friends and family and saying that I am so jealous but so pleased for them. Once its out in the open it has helped tremendously. Can understand though if you want to keep things quiet for now.
If that is the case, just concentrate on you, dh and your lovely little follicles. Forget everyone around you and what they're doing. Forget about two weeks time and the test date. Just concentrate on today and whats happening with those follicles. Its important they grow big and strong so give them lots of rest, lots of protein and relax ( no stress!)
We are all your friends here and wish you every success. Theres nothing you can do to guarantee a BFP, but getting upset certainly wont help your chances, so smile and be happy that you have the option to do IVF! Hope that helps - was bit of a rant.
I know how you feel , cos I feel the same x
18/11/08 21:47
Thanks for your posts girls!
Oh dear, not a very good day today.
had a really busy day at work, then had a phone call from dh to say that his sister and her husband were 'popping in'. I knew straight away what it was about, and sure enough she is 11 weeks pregnant. Of course I am delighted for them (sort of ) but I just feel truly awful. I had known this was coming at some point, but it now makes me feel so much more desperate for our ivf to work. I just can't help looking ahead to next month and wondering how I will cope if I am not pregnant. Her 14 week scan is the week after we find out if our treatment has worked. I had been pleased at how laid back I felt this time, and thinking I was just going to go with the flow, but now I feel really anxious and desperate again. It just seems to pile on the pressure for us.I know we will just have to find the strength to cope, and to put on a brave face, but I just feel so sad, and can't help thinking how unfair life is. I know lots of ladies on this forum will have been through similar experiences so it helps to know that other people understand.
Anyway, until I got this news, I had been feeling really quite good - quite positive about things, so hopefully tomorrow I will feel better. thanks for all you rmessages as always.
18/11/08 19:52
Great news Dawn, roll on Friday xx
18/11/08 17:35
Great news Dawn about your follies and hopefully they'll be nice and big by Friday.
Sending you lots of
to help them along. Suzie X18/11/08 11:22
Hiya Dawn. I'm so pleased I have a buddy - and we're on exactly the same days by the looks of it - YAY!!! My head seems to be all over the place at the mo - what about you? On the whole I'm very positive +++++ but then have wobbles and can't think about EC,ET, 2ww and test day without having a little freak out!! lol. Glad your scan went well and look forward to sharing our news on Friday.
- hope it all goes well again xxxxx18/11/08 10:26
Yay!! Fantastic news Dawn.... you go girl!
17/11/08 22:17
Hi girls
Thanks so much for all your posts - just been reading about suzie's good news - how fantastic. Just goes to show that it does happen - I am feeling much more positive and optimistic now.
Scan went well - ET was 5.5mm, and I had 7 follicles on the right, the biggest was 11mm, and a few small follicles on the left, the biggest was 9mm. I remember last time, the scan at this stage was a bit of an anti-climax, so at least I knew what to expect. Looking forward to the one on friday now - I remember that's when there were loads of big follicles, and it all seemed really exciting. Hopefully ec will be monday or tuesday next week. Feel a lot more relaxed this cycle - at least I know what to expect, and I don't have any unrealistic expectations - maybe that will make the 2ww a bit easier...??? (she says, hopefully!)
Anyway, will keep you posted. have a busy week at work so that will help the time pass more quickly
dawn xxx
17/11/08 12:32
Hope your scan has gone/goes well hunni xxxx
17/11/08 10:15
Good luck today Dawn - cant wait to hear all about your scan and how many follies you've got!!!!!!
Hi Dawn,
Glad you had a good night out - sounds like it was just what you needed. Soz to hear that you have had an emotional day but good to know that your ec has only changed slightly. I totally understand your car park wobbly - my ec changed by 2 days and came close to not happening at all and I was blubbing on the phone to dh outside the hospital - but the docs know best and it all worked out well in the end.
Have a good weekend hun and make sure you are getting plenty of rest too.
Lots of PMA coming your way
xxxxx