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5/8/08 14:25
29/7/08 21:28
Hey, sorry to hear your DP isn't being very supportive!
I was booked in for a HB last year with DS but waters went and I had to be induced, etc.
Booked in again for a HB this time round, too! My partner can't wait and as PP said the main reason is, if nothing happens quickly, he can watch TV, read, make cups of tea and have a cig without waiting around in a crummy hospital.
I'm 22... but also have found its "older" mums who go for HBs.
Good luck with your DP! I'd still go ahead with mine even if my DP was worried!
xXx29/7/08 20:54
had a home birth with my 3rd baby best decision i ever made was so relaxing would recommend it to anyone if the pregnancy was going ok
29/7/08 18:20
The only thing they don't have at home is a theater, they carry resus stuff should it be necessary & all the drugs they have at hospital should you bleed & even at hosp they have to prepare the theater if you were to need it so the time you would spend going in you would also be waiting in hosp for them to prepare it iykwim? Plus at home you have the mw's undivided attention & they are much more aware of YOUR labour so they will know as soon as something starts to deviate from the norm, normally before you are even aware of a problem!
You get much better care at home because they have the time to do their job!
29/7/08 18:07
i didnt have a bad time of it with my first at hospital it was just so slow i had to beg mw to give me more time to try natually. hubby says he like hospital as everything is there to hand.
i just really like the idea of being at home. so what did your family think? my family think its great. but hubbys family just laugh and tell me not to be so stuipid. sort of wished i havent mentioned it to them now
29/7/08 14:37
Hiya, I had my DD at home 18mths ago and I was only 20. A lot of people were surprised I wanted one but after the awful hospital birth with my DS I was determined the next one would be born at home!!
It was a fantastic experience, 4 hrs start to finish and I was so relaxed. I had a water birth and the best part was watching DHs face as he was emptying while I was sat on my own sofa breastfeeding and eating toast! I think it's only fair for him to have to clear up the mess I did all the hard work! He even got a blister from pumping up the pool but at least he was sensible enough not to mention it til after.
I couldn't recommend a homebirth enough and I will definitely be having another one next time, I'm even actually looking forward to it!
29/7/08 13:51
That's great, I would be pretty shocked if he still doesn't agree after speaking to mw's & other women that have had one, unless of course he just doesn't listen! If all else fails then maybe just explain how important it is to you & what worked for me was telling him how petrified I was of going into hospital & how much I really needed him to support me, that he needed to be my big strong knight in shining armour iykwim! Always tends to work with dp
29/7/08 12:35
thank you every one i have spoken to dh and he has read every thing you all have said he has agreed to talk to the mw with me. they offer a class here about home births so he has said he will come with me to that and see what they say.
29/7/08 10:31
Best thing to avoid that is to not tell anyone other than grandparents (or not even them if you don't want them there yet!) then they can't just turn up!! Or do what I did & tell my dp I will leave him if he lets anyone in the house I don't want there, I made it very clear I didn't give a sh*t who it was or if it offended them they shouldn't be so fecking rude as to turn up on my doorstep uninvited and unannounced!!
Tell them the happy news when you have had some time to yourselves & when you are feeling up for visitors!
28/7/08 22:07
Hi - do it, do it, do it!!!!
I had my dd at home 12 weeks ago (she's my third) I wouldnt have it any other way now!
It was relaxed, I was in charge, I knew my MW for the 7 months before and it was just her and DF there (2nd MW nissed it) Honestly, it was fab! Labour was 3 hours long from 1st contraction - getting in the bath. My other two were looooong labours, because i was tense I think and the awful hospital / staff didn't help!
My DF wasn't keen, worried about everything going wrong, so my MWS came to see him, and ran through everything, when she told him they would 'blue light' me into hospital even if they had a feeling something wasn't quite right, that made him feel better. Also, I was admitted into the labour ward for pains at 31 weeks (there was nothing wrong in the end) but walking around the labour ward in the middle of the night seeing women in beds in the corridors screaming for a MW made his mind up to back me up!
The only cons I can think of is that everyone came to visit on the same day that I had her, and I was so tired and they wouldn't take the not so subtle hints to go away!
28/7/08 21:07
Good idea, gang up on him lol! It was my 24th birthday the day I had him & it is the same here, I seemed to be the youngest & no-one I know has had one although my friend who is due in November wanted a waterbirth & I've managed to talk her into a hb!
28/7/08 20:07
Firstly, congrats on your lovely news!
I have 5 kids and had the last 4 at home...it was far quicker, less painful and more relaxing and i would never birth in a hospital again!!
A pregnant lady is not ill or sick (in most cases!!) so does not need to be in a building full of ill and sick people.
I thoroughly recommend them, my partner wasnt keen at first and i ended up in hospital with my first baby as i had PE but my partner hated the whole hospital experience and agreed to HB second time round. Good job really as labour was less than 10 minutes and he delivered her!
Didn't put him or me off and we had the others at home aswell!
I've found the opposite to be true where i live, older mums rush off to the hospital with the first pain and the younger mums have their babies at home!
I'm 30 next year and was 24 i think when i had my first daughter at home!
28/7/08 19:51
wow your 3rd. so what does your dp think.
28/7/08 16:11
i' be 24 when my baby is due and i have opted for a home birth, i had both my boys in hospital and im not doing it again. i'd love the chance to do it at home. i'll be so much more relaxed. cant wait
25/7/08 11:03
My DH was really supportive of the idea, especially when he realised he could play on his xbox if he got bored and nothing was happening LOL. I don't think it's always older women who go for homebirths. I was 27 when I had my DS.
25/7/08 08:39
yeah it really helped. we are going to denmark in august so might try again then, as my step mum will be there and she is a doula. i hope i get to have a hb. do you mind if i ask how old you are? i have found its mainly older ladies who go for a hb and i am only 24. i havent found anyone who is my age who has been though it.
24/7/08 08:58
My dp wasn't at all happy about it at first and we argued every time I brought it up! So eventually I bookmarked loads of pages on homebirth on the laptop from sites like homebirth.org & said "I've done the research & I believe this is what is best for me & our baby so I am not going into hospital unless you can do the same & prove to me it is safer in hospital with all the MRSA bugs!" I also added the benefits to him like he will be able to do what he likes while I'm in labour, he won't have to walk miles to the toilet because they can't use the ones on delivery suite & at home there will be a mw there every minute, she won't be looking after up to 3 other women and keep popping in/out of the room plus he won't have the worry of me giving birth in the car on the way there lol!
There are soooo many reasons why it is better to give bith at home but men really don't think about it, my dp is now so pro hb you wouldn't have believed the way he reacted at first! There is a section on the homebirth.org site for dads or if your mw is supportive of hb's ask him to come along to your next appt & ask her about it? Alternatively find out if there is a homebirth group in your area, there's one here in Dartford that I go to so I can tell couples about my experience & they can talk openly about their fears etc & not one person has left not wanting one & one lady wasn't even planning a hb she just came along with a friend & left saying she wanted a hb!
Anyway sorry I've rambled but I hope this helps xxx
23/7/08 20:59
i mentioned it to hubby last night and he said no way. i know that it me who has to push the baby out biut hubby really wants me to go to hosiptal.
how did you other half feel about it. how did you go about talking to him
23/7/08 12:23
Congrats hun! I had my first baby at home 8 weeks ago. It was a really positive experience for me! My labour was 9 hours from first contraction to delivery! Homebirths are usually quicker because you are more relaxed. They are also usually less painful! I only used a TENS machine for pain relief. You can have gas and air but mine sat there the whole time unused. The community midwives were really supportive, followed my birth plan and mostly faded into the background unless they were monitoring/examining me. A great homebirth resource is www.homebirth.org.uk. It's full of useful info and birth stories etc. I recommend homebirth to all my pregnant friends now. It was fantastic.
23/7/08 09:54
congrats. i had my dd (2nd lo) at home 9 weeks ago and it was fantastic! much more relaxed and i was able to do pretty much anything i wanted (they wouldnt let me have a fag though lmao). dont actually know how long i was in active labour though cause by the time i felt the need 4 the midwifes to be there i was already 7cms. 2 1/4 hours later my dd was born and an hour later i was sitting on the sofa having a cup of coffee!
best thing ever was having my hb and would definately have another.
hth
xxx
brill glad i am not the only one. i have spoken to mw and she has said as long as its not twins i can go ahead. just got to wait from scan in sept to see how many i am having. i am very big for my weeks.