Thanks girls, I was going to hire a Doula, but the only 3 in my area have other committments, so now i know that i deffinatley wont have a doula, i will be having my friends here, (if i feel like it on the day!) they are more like family and will respect me and do whatever i want them too, I just cant wait now and am getting impatient, the health visitor brought the red book yesterday, so it all feels more real, cant wait until its here in my arms!

laine x

35+ 3 lellow bubba number 3

Hi I think you're right and just go with the flow of how you feel nearer the time.  Birth is funny as with my little boy I thought I would want my partner to rub my back, hold me etc but I didn't want him anywhere near me which is a shame. 

It's a very individual thing and if you have a good support network and feel they would be able to settle you more during labour - why not, it's your time and your choice.

Hope you come to a decision which is right for you xxx

Hi,

A couple of weeks ago I had my hb and I had my imw and my dh and my mum attending. My dh held my hands whilst my mum massaged my back. I am so glad both were there. The back massage really helped a lot with a posterior labour and I wouldn't have coped so well without it. My mum was a real help - thoughtful, caring and she managed to cover her own feelings really well (I think she was far more emotional and worried than she let on)

I think that those people who are around whilst you are having a baby should be calmly supportive and have something positive to contribute, otherwise they are just spectators (and birth is not a sideshow imo).

Lily

Thanks for replies, i am in two minds at the moment, one day i want the world and their neighbour here and the next i am trying to think of ways to set up the pool by myself and not even tell my husband!

I am just going to go with the flow and see what happens on the day i suppose, i really cant wait though and am getting very excited!

laine x 35+6

lellow babba

For my first 2 births it was just midwife and my husband but for 3rd (homebirth) i had my mum there to look after midwives with tea and coffee so my dh would'nt have to leave me. she was neither use nor ornament though and just sat staring at me and dh still had to look after mw!!

Last one was just dh and mw at home. For this homebitrh though i am hopeing my best friend will be here. I had a horrible mw for the last 2 births (last one she smacked my bum after giving birth) If i get her again my friend will smack her!

I think it's a really nice idea to have other people there as long as they mean enough to you for you not to regret it as you can't remake the memories.

Good luck to all xxx .

meant 2 say with dds birht i was really woried abotu my firned seing my bits etc right until it was crunch time then i wanted her in there n was great for her n dd to have that bond

x

hey hun

at dds birht i had mw, dh and dds godmother.

this time im plannign on dh, mws hopefully this time (2nd mw missed dds birht lol) dds god mother (will be bumps godmother as well) and nextdoor neighbour to film teh birth. will also have ds and dd there as well tho dds godmother/neighbour will look after them if need be. we jsut want them there to meet bump sraight after birth as ds will be jsut 2 and dd will b jsut 1. also havigna doula there to help me cope with no pain relief this time or to tell in laws where to go if they find out im in labour this time (last time fil barged up right after i had dd and took her off me before dh had even had a hold!!!)

i loved having dds godmother there 4 her birht. was really special for her and its made her and dd closer as well. plus she was a little bit of extra support. i cant wait for her to be there for the birth of this one so really hoping its not int eh middle of the night so she can come as she has a ds and dd both under 3 who she couldnt leave at ngiht.

hth u hun

x

Hi all, Planned for a home birth, and i  was wondering if any of you had more people present than just mw and a birth partner?

I have cover for my 2 girls, and they will have the choice of it to be around or not, and also i have a handful of very close friends who want to be there, i really dont mind who is there, i think i will like having the close support of them around, bearing in mind that i do have enough about me to tell them to leave if i change my mind!!

So i just wanted to gather opinions about wether you regretted having others there, felt maybe you would have liked to share it with others, or general experiences really.

xlainex

34+3 lellow belly!