my mw is brilliant with dh shows him what she is checking for gets him to feel the head and how far engaged baby is e.t.c she probably talks to him more than she does me lol

he loved my last homebirth because he got so involved helping out the midwives getting stuff for them and showing them where everything was as well as supporting me. in the hospital he always feels like a spare part not being able to get involved or do much at all he is more a hands on type person.

sounds to me like your mw is just a bit crap towards partners to be honest trust me they arent all like that.

mara x (36wks no.5)

See how you feel, maybe when he asks something you start rummaging in your handbag and avoid eye contact with her so you OH gets the chance to gain eye contact ans show her how interested he is? What are the chances she will deliver you? you may not even get her, or maybe just be blunt and say, as she maybe isnt even aware that she is excluding him.

good luck keep us posted!

He just said he felt like she was. Whenever he asked a question she just looked at him then carried on talking to me. I did notice this and we spoke as soon as we got out of there, but I did not realise it bothered him this much. Think it is worth seing her one last time and if it still stays the same change her???

My DH was involved completely in my homebirth to the point that when the MW walked me up the stairs to keep me active he carried the gas and air!!  At one point it all got too much for him and the mw told him to have a rest for an hour.  They certainly did not push my DH out.  Hope its the same for you x

Im making it very clear in my birth plan that i want my Oh involved in everything. I know we are the ones giving birth etc but i think  its just as stressful for the fathers. I know in hospital with my Ds my Oh felt pushed out, everytime he went near me the mw told him to let me rest, i found it very upsetting.

Right now i hope not. We have an appointment in sept to see her...next week in fact. might see how things go then and decide wether or not to keep her. Like you I/We wanted my OH to feel involved so if it seems like he is not being, no point in keeping her. Especially as he is the one who will be with me when i go into labour, so he has to be as familiar and comfortable with her as i am. i think they are assigned to you on the day but i think they try to make sure you get the mw whom you have been working with throughout the pregnancy

I hope this isn't the case, as one of the reasons I want a homebirth is so that he feels involved in the whole process. I'm planning on giving my bf instructions in advance on what kind of things to do. Such as if a mw does something to tell them for me to stop doing it. As its going to be in my house they have to be nice and accomodating.

But is your mw the same one who's going to be at your hb, because I thought you were assigned whoever was working on the day??

Hi all. My OH has told me that when we visit our mw, he feels like she is ignoring him and does not answer his questions? is this normal? do mw work with fathers when you are having a hb or do they just kinda push them aside or tolerate their presence? does anyone elses OH or has anyone elses Oh had this experiance? I dont know the answer coz this is my first hb, and this is my partners first child/hb.