my lo is 2 in aug we split in novemeber and he comes every night to see him, at my house he wont take him to where he lives because they smoke in the house! and he sees him on sat and sundays at my house .

we still go out toghether as a family aswell but he cant see how hard it is on me he wants his cake and eat it basiclly!sp

 i wish he didnt sometimes because it makes it even harder on me,he leaves every night to his single life and im stuck at home if i ever met someone else it would be a very difficult situation. im glad he is so involved though id rather that than hardy ever, my dad did that when he left my mum and it does screw your head up if you let it and i think all children should see their fathers until they can make there own minds up like i did, i havnt seen my dad for 10 yrs and dont want to

Its funny here we all are wishing the dads would do more, my friend has the opposite problem where they have kids 3 and 1/2 days each but the dad wants more! And she wishes he was like this lol.

ooO thats a very negative way of looking at things mumtobubbles. I have to agree with the others I love my friend's kids but theres no duty or pull for me to see them on a regular basis.  I still have a bond with them and love them to pieces, but as and when, not like a dad and a son/daughter.  But i think us women do feel it stronger and sometimes expect that from the dad, which doesn't come naturally to all men.  It doesn't mean they don't love the child, I know my ex adores his daughter but what he wants to do still comes first to him.  whereas my child cmes first to me now.   I'm worried about how my ex will be when we don't live together because his daughter came 2nd to his last gf and I can see it happening again already with his new gf, but I think accepting that he will always be her dad and making it easy for him to have a relationship helps, its still frustrating but trying to force a man like that just makes them do the opposite of what you want and gets you more upset. 

well mu lil girls dad dnt c her atall!

totally agree with previous post, im trying my best to get my ex 2 c my twin boys they are now nearly 8months old and he hasnt bothered turning up for the past 8 weeks ... has been tellin everybody I stopped him .. when i most definitely did not & then he decides 2 turn up last night 2 give ME a lecture on parenting .. when im the 1 bringin them up 24/7 ON MY OWN!! but i managed 2 grit my teeth try & talk 2 him so the boys dont lose out on their father!!

Yes,we all get let down by people sometimes ,the same as we let down other people sometimes but  a father letting his child down IS different to just another family member doing it imo.....he should be one of the most important people in a childs life and surely the child should be the most important person in the dads life? You saying that your friend sees your lo when she can seems totally different ,plus saying that your sister cancelled due to illness,that can't be helped but a dad not bothering to see his child 'cause he can't be bothered or something better came up  is unforgivable.

Well my view on dad's letting lo down is somewhat different to others.

For example in the last month my sister has cancelled on the morning of our planned days out together 4 times....due to illness. This means I have had to explain to ds each time that unfortunately he won't be seeing his auntie and cousins.

Another example....my best friend away at uni see's ds intermittently when she can, sometimes 3 times a month other times once every 3 months.

What i'm saying is the first example is of a child being let down at last minute and the second is an example of unstrutured and irregular visits.

This is reminiscent of everyday life and sets up a child well for the "real" world. We all suffer disappointment, being let down and irregularity throughout life, so to me a father doing this is no different to an auntie or other family member and sets a child up for reality.

Some blokes are idiots, and dont want to be involved. Yet they will turn around and tell their family and friends that it is you blocking it all.

Unfortunatly, you cannot force him. All you can do is be the best parent possible to your lo.

A tip though, stop telling your lo that he will be coming. That way if he is still doing this when she is older, you will be used to it. That way she will be suprised if he comes, and wont be as dissapointed if he doesnt.

Oh, never, cos dads are frigging idiots who are missing out on an awful loss, and its them that is missing out on a lot, and will continue to miss out on it all.

i was just wondering how often your son's/daughter's see their dads, me and isabellas dad were really good friends after breaking up (before i found out i was pregnant), but he sees her about twice a week for about half an hour, shes 11 weeks old and i really think he should see her more.

i took her for a photoshoot today and he said he would come with me but he booked work and didnt come, he was only working overtime and finished at 11! really i think its coz it was his new girlfirends birthday, but it really annoys me as i had to get my sister to cancel her plans yesterday to come with me as the photos were in london (i live in surrey) and i was getting my pics taken with her and they were doing my hair and make up and so i needed someone to look after her when that was happening! my sister had paid £100 for the photoshoot and i just think shes so ungrateful, and his reason for not going was 'i dont want pics of me and her'!!!

anyway, hes cancelled seeing her loads, and although shes only 11 weeks so doesnt understand, i often say to her 'oh youre going to see daddy later' and then he cancels, so when shes older shell get excited and then disappointed and ill have to pick up the peices!

basically hes an idiot, and i really dont like him as he made my pregnancy hell, but do you think im expecting too much from him?

xxx