sorry, hadn't really finished that had I!

I meant that I agree with Jules, that at 1yo your youngest will adapt to daddy leaving (and lets face it you will be living separately eventually if you're sure it's over, prob the younger the boys are when that happens the better)

I separated from my ex when my son was 10months old, he was visibly confused about why daddy & mummy didn't stay in same room any more (for a while I couldn't bear to talk to him at all so left him a written message of what time nappy needed changing etc and walked out when he arrived lol!) but he quickly adapted (might have helped that didn't always see much of daddy before I found otu he'd cheated & asked him to leave). He had def adapted to that though cos he looked confused anew when we did try to save our marriage and were kissing and cuddling again when he was just over 12 months.... Didn't notice any further confusion on his face when all ended when he was 15 months old, maybe he was just better at hiding it by then, or maybe he'd by then decided that mummy & daddy just did things like that.

He took a while to adapt when ex suddenly dropped frequency of contact after our daughter was born a few months ago but now seems fine, rarely asks after daddy but is pleased to see him when he comes & generally content to say "bye" when he goes.

Exactly like my ex.  Hun if they are on his pc he wrote them.  I talk from experience. I tried the forgiveness route and thought it was working but few months down the line, more messages and he always talked me out of it. and always few months later the same again.  Eventually he found a woman who'd take him on, left me and claimed he'd met her a week after we split.  My friend calls them serial overlappers lol.

You hurt like hell right now, but if deep down either one of you is unhappy/doubtful then you've done the right thing.  And it doesn't have to mean you never work things out, it might just mean you both need a break. Its taken me 3-4 months to even begin to see that, but you will be ok. And just because you've split doesn't mean you have to hate each other. I live with my ex and its hard, I won't lie to you but  we're still friends.  He's now looking to move out so we don't live in limbo anymore. 

Take your time, don't make any rash decisions now, but listen to yourself and you'll be ok.x

he is not just betraying you he is betraying his children ! if my man was meeting up with other woman ect he would be out the door !

yes it will be strange for the boys to start with but they would settle and its not like you would be cutting all contact

he is not just betraying you he is betraying his children ! if my man was meeting up with other woman ect he would be out the door !

yes it will be strange for the boys to start with but they would settle and its not like you would be cutting all contact

Maybe if you try and talk to him properly, tell him you have read it and you want him out until he can prove he is worthy off you!!!

The youngest is 1?....he probably wouldn't even notice he's missing after a shirt while (IMO) You have to think of your own self being than that of your childrens...if you thought of them you'd stay and be unhappy but that in efect then makes them unhappy!!!

If you sort of your selves first then the children will be happy, you cant keep making excuses for him. He needs to face up to what he's doing/done. He rather is texting this women bcause he's had enough of you and doesn't want to tell you or something is wrong with the relationship and he cant taLK TO YOU ABOUT IT (feck caps) either way you need to say things to him.

I would poss give him the option of leaving if he wants to play with other women then let him!!!

(and hugs)

still feel like i love him & want him back but i know if i forgive him then he would do it again cos he thinks he can get away with it.

i was gonna kick him out but the boys are still so young and youngest adores his dad. i dunno what to do for the best, none of his family understand and seem to think its normal male behaviour wanting to meet women for fun.

kick him out hun , tell him he can still see the kids but the situation is to strained and the atmosthere isnt good for the children !

as for getting nearer to your pparents could you not look into a house swap ?

hi. im in a council house at the minute and my name is on the list for the council near my mum but it will take so long. they have said i can stay their for a while but they only have a small 2 bed bungalow and there isnt really much room. whats making it worse is all his family are backing him up saying that he didnt send them. i know it was him & also his mum said all men do that!!! i said decent men dont do a thing like that....... still cant get my head around it, makes me feel sick everytime i read the msgs hes been sending.....

also but iffy as to weather to let his mum look after the kids again incase they try get them off me. i know its a big if but dont wanna risk it

Why can you not go live nearer your mum and dad?(sorry if you've mentioned your reasons and i've missed it.  Sounds like you need to be away from him just to get your head around it all if nothing else.  Would you and the children not be able to go and stay with your mum and dad for a while just to take your mind off things so then you can make big decisions about the house, living arrangements, money, etc with a clear head?  I know it's hard at first but if he's going to mess around behind your back then it's better to have a couple of months where you struggle and then settle down and feel happier than feel miserable and suspicious of him for the rest of your life

Hi, i really need some1 to talk to, i split up with my dh lastnight cos i found messages hes been sending women in our area wanting to meet up etc, he denied it but i know hes lying so iv ended it with him - i wanted so much more than this for my 2 kids who are only 1 & 2. hes still gonna be staying here but i keep thinking everythings normal and then i remember im a single person now and have no-one

im not gonna be messed around like that and no way should my kids have to put up with that aswell. hes gonna be staying here to be with them but im finsing it too hard

i wanna move out of this area and be near my mum & dad but looks like its not gonna happen!!!

i feel like walking out with the kids & not coming back but i have no-where to go at all.