Jessica managed to sleep through the past couple of nights for at least six hours each time.

Now I just have to persuade the toddler that waking up in the night and crying about not being able to find his apple (what!?) is not the way forward.

Mum is coming to take him out for the afternoon.

HV is arranging groups at the local childrens centre and a family visitor to offer some support on a weekly basis.

Oh, and I've set reminders on my phone every 2.5 hours to feed Jessica to try and increase day time feeding and hopefully eventually decrease night time feeding.  Yesterday was the first day... here's hoping it might work.

I can't really afford to put him in any regular childcare or I would have him in for a couple of mornings a week, just so he can get out and into a different environment for a while.  My SPD is still bad enough that I go out as little as I can to ensure I am as painfree as possible when I have the kids around the house, if that makes sense.

I've spoken to HVs and am awaiting a response, things are on a go-slow because it's the summer holidays and they are thin on the ground.  My regular HV is away right now and last time she saw me I was absolutely fine with no problems at all (I scored just 10 on the PND test woot), so I've been left to it a bit.  I will not be getting PND this time if it bloody kills me.  I've managed since November and been off antidepressants since about February.

Trying to get a family worker at the local childrens centre, which is just around the corner.  At the moment I don't go because I can't guarantee I'd be able to control Oliver due to the gammy leg, still on crutches and getting up is a slow process LOL. But if there was someone to support me making sure he was safe and behaving, I'd feel more confident about going.

Thanks guys, sometimes just having an outlet helps.  We had an okay night last night.  Jessica's last feed was at 11pm, then she woke at 1am and 5am for night feeds, and up this morning at 7:30am.  Ollie slept from going to bed at 10pm until 7:30am, I am expecting some behaviour today as his bedtime was so late.

I'm feeling a bit ill today, I think it's because I am getting rundown through tiredness, which is really abnormal for me, I never get colds or sore throats and here I am streaming nose and headache, so I've cancelled breastfeeding group for today and plan to have a day of doing nothing.

if you can find the money... sitters.co.uk (think that's right address) apparently has CRB checked people on it, mostly nursery workers childminders etc, I've had it recommended (on sites I use not to me personally) as being a good place to go if you don't have friends/family who can sit... that's if you can afford it, from what I've heard rates aren't too bad though & if you get someone you like first time can request same person again.

Could you put Oliver back in nappy at night if he's wetting? or is he in nappy at night but takes it off? (I've not started Joseph, 2.5yrs, yet lol so that's one less hassle for me). Even maybe soft play - I know you'd still have to watch him somewhat but at least some energy be run off and hopefully less for him to get up to mischief with?

Other things (you may have checked out?): Homestart, maybe see if Gingerbread can offer any advice, talk to HV (if there's a possibility of you having PND then that wouldn't help you coping with kids & may not be healping their behaviour iyswim if they pick up on it).

and a {hug} though hopefully you're in bed fast asleep & won't get it till the morning.

i if i was nearer ... cos im pretty sure youre pretty northern?

is there a childminder near you tht you trust just for a cple hrs off?

There's definitely no give at the moment, his girlfriend is due her baby this week, which is why they've sprung this whole having Oliver less thing.  I wouldn't ask Liam for a plaster if my leg was hanging off anyway.  In six months he has gone from trying to take custody of Oliver because I was "incapable" of caring for him, to taking the p1ss with his weekends off, to deciding he wants to have Oliver less because of his new baby.  We are no longer on friendly terms.

I seriously think you should be able to hire someone to watch your kids while you have a nap for a couple of hours.

aww kakiwee wish i could help - if i was nearer id try give u a few hours off

dont really know what to suggest hun

but if it helps i have a 3 year old who is recently talking about monsters etc ..

and i guess with a new baby in the house hes putting you through it all the more for attention etc ..

i know you posted about ex not helping - in fact having his son less but is there no give there hun? have you tried talking to him?

sorry that youre having a bad time hun and hope you get a good night soon

...in seven days I've not had more than a couple of hours sleep each night, bar Thursday where I managed maybe six hours.  I've got five days to go before DS goes overnight to his dad and I plan to spend the whole weekend in bed just feeding and sleeping.

How do you cope when your children are not sleeping?

There is no one I can ask for help right now, mum has her own issues and I don't want to stress her out any more.

Over the past week Oliver has had three nightmares, which he wakes screaming from and I have reached the point twice where I was so tired I fell asleep whilst comforting him to wake up half an hour later on the floor.  He has also wet the bed.  Twice he woke up shouting for me, and had a tantrum when I refused to give him the attention, lasting up to two hours both times.  He also pooed in his pants one morning when I tried to get an extra hour because I was so tired I felt sick, so left him in his room to play after making sure he was fed and washed.  He's two and three quarters and has recently started to talk about dinosaurs and dragons being scary, and is telling me he is afraid of the dark too.

Jessica wakes every few hours to feed and wants held all the time.

Between them they start anywhere from 5:30am in the morning, which is the earliest Ollie wakes up for the day (bearing in mind Jessica tends to feed at 4:30am), Oliver is non-stop until 7pm (9pm on a bad day) and by non-stop I mean constant questions, talking, tantrums, attention seeking, naughtiness, basically if you don't keep your eye on him he is up to something he shouldn't be, then Jessica often won't settle until 10:30 when I finally give up and go to bed to feed her, then she'll settle until 1am at worst, 4:30am at best.  She cries a lot all day and is worst in the evenings.

I am just reaching the end of my tether already and feel guilty about getting so angry at normal toddler and baby behaviour, but I don't see a way to rest between the two of them.

Any tips?  Jessica is 9+2 weeks old now.