did you ever meet the grandparents? id f***ing kick his ass out quite frankly. he doesnt want to accept responsibility for something hes not ready for. he knows this child is his and hes stalling and trying to come off scott free all at the same time! you know the truth, he betrayed you, why must you keep up this sick charade hes playing! (sorry for the rant, my partner of 7 years just left me, im 12 weeks pregnant and have a dd whose 4 sorry a bit p***ed off with men!). id tell his parents the truth!

Yes i would much rather he told the truth because the paternity test oould not be needed and we will never have a good relationship if its all built on lies.

Thank you hun just think i need to know i am doing the right thing!

Oh dear.

His blatant lies about your relationship have made you look bad. No given this story I dont blame his mum one bit for not wanting to bond with a child that isn't possibly her son's, but this mess is your Ex's fault and he really needs to sort it out. It really would be lovely if you could get your lo to have a relationship with their grandparents and frankly he is going to have to come clean to reassure his mother, or have a paternity test isn't he?

Hi Ladies

When i say i am new to this i mean the grandparent thing, My Lo is nearly 8 months old and his father has never had any contact with him or myself since i was 23 weeks pregnant dispite all my best efforts.

Finally i found out that he had been seeing a woman with children so i was not impressed that he could support her children but not even acknowledge his own. So i set up a new email address as he had blocked mine and my facebook etc. So i sent him an email basically saying it was time to step up and if he was not willing to i would go to his parents and tell them about their grandson as he hadnt even told them.

This very quickly got a response and in the last few weeks he has been coming to see us a lot and seems very sorry about how he has treated us and has bonded well with my lo, anyway after rampling on i will get to the grandparent bit....

He has told his parents who were really happy about it but the next time he came i asked if they wanted to see lo, he said no and that his mum wants a paternity test because she doesnt believe its his, Now they are like two peas in a pod and he agrees that the child is his without a doubt( it cant be anyone else as he is the only person i was with for a very long time) so he asked me to have the test done.

I Have refused this as he is only doing it for his mother not becaue he wants it, do you think i am doing the right think by refusing?

I can see where his mum is coming from because he didnt want to make himself look bad so he fed her a load of rubbish, basically he was cheating on his girlfriend the whole time we were together and i had no idea because he was with me at all times near enough so to stop himself looking like the ________ (fill your own blanks) he is he told his mum it was a one night stand when him and his girlfriend had had a row, so of course she will think the worst of me.

i just dont know what to do now and we cant move on until he decides what he wants.

Any advice or similar stories much appreciated.

Sorry for rambling!!!

x x x x