Tell her yes that the £400 he ex contributes isn't enough to raise the children, but he shouldn't be the one providing the other half of the money, she should, and if she is struggling with money for the kids then perhaps she should look at her own lifestyle.  Equal responsibilities and all.

my dp has decided that as hes going down to part time hours, he only has to pay me £5 a wk, for two children. Hes not paying any rent/bills/food as hes living with rellies. His novel solution is that he buys what they need when he has them, and me when I do... He has them 3-6pm twice a week!!

Soooo he pays for two meals a week, I buy EVERYTYHING else a child should need. Way to go!! Prat.

Think she is living is cuckoo land, and if I was him I would offer her a little bit more, and if she dont like it tell her to go through CSA.

She basically wants half of his wages every month.

hi i receive £280 per month for my twins, its the amount calculated by the csa however he pays it privately to me.  I think this is a good amount, he has another child to an ex too and pays out £420 in total which is a lot of money espec out of his salary as about 15% of his income is from a bonus once a year. 

Wish I had her life!!!!

I think £400 is a good amount. £700 obviously would be lovely (if ex was rich!) but if this isn't based on his earnings and he has to actually live himself!

I get £280 a month for 2, and that is less than what he is meant to pay me based on his earnings, but it is a private arrangement - and he DOES have them overnight, sometimes for longer periods (ie for 2 nights) and sees them after school in the afternoon (where he has to spend money feeding and entertaining them) but If I felt he was earning a lot more, then I would expect him to contribute to the children financially based upon his income. Does this father have them overnight? This can reduce it

CSA is not for the monther... its for the child, their upkeep and expenses. Also this doesn't include everthing - for us, which is why I am more flexible in the payments. We take it in turns to pay for swimming lessons (ie he pays 1 block, I pay the next) also we buy each child school shoes so that not one parent is paying the bulk iyswim? He initially was a PITA over it but it has got much better

I think it is selfish of any parent to expect the other to live in financial hardship as regards children when they ought to be contributing a sensible amount based on what they earn  - whether this is the mother demanding overpayments or the father underpaying. Both are equally not a nice thing to do to someone

If I were him, I would insist the CSA deal with the case. If they cannot privately arrange something sensible then he is better off and protected letting the CSA set the amount. She can't argue with that then can she?

Thanks for replying.

CSA have quoted around £100 per week, so works out over £400 per calendar month, which I think is a fair amount. He's more than willing to pay that.

She however reckons you couldnt bring up one child on that amount! The figure in her head is more around the £700 mark!

She's living comfortably, has luxuries like Sky TV and Broadband, has just bought herself a new iPod and is about to buy a new laptop. She also walked out their house taking all the new furniture he'd bought and took their nearly new people carrier and left him with the old banger. So she's not doing too bad for herself!

My ex pays me £300 a month for our 3 kids (28th of each month without fail , I suppose thats one thing in his favour!)............that is more or less what it would be through the csa I think. He struggles with money so I did say he could lower the price a bit if he needs to but he says they're his kids and he doesn't want them to go without. Pity hes not that decent in other ways,lol!!

I would say to him to use the figure that the CSA advise is the right amount, this should allow her to live comfortable enough and if she went to the CSA it would be all she would get anyway. If she finds shes struggling maybe he could buy something now and again for the children i.e shoes or clothes x

Hi, can anyone tell me what is an average/acceptable amount of maintenance for 3 kids please? Someone I know (male) has 3 kids and has just seperated from his wife. He's more than willing to pay maintenance and has been on the CSA website and used their calculator to work out what he should be paying (although he would rather they come to an agreement than use the CSA) The figure the CSA have given seems a reasonable amount and he's happy to pay it.

His wife however is saying that the figure they've given is not enough and is demanding what seems a rather large sum of money!

As a mum myself I wouldnt like to see anyone struggle with raising their kids but she's making it obvious she's living very comfortably even though she's not working, and its not that my friend is begrudging paying anything (I'd have something to say if he was!) but he cant see how she can want such a high amount.

So does anyone mind telling me what they get or what is an acceptable figure, or any general advice please?

Thanks.