Just to let you no employers of mothers or fathers to be asre entitled to time off for antenatal appoinments like midwife and scans as long as its resonable time. my partner came toall the scans and most midwife and paren craft classes and i think it prepared him more for the babyand what to expect also felt more involved xx

My boyfriend didnt want this baby at all but now he's used to the idea, our little girl is only 8 months old and he thought it would ruin us so i told my mum what he thought and she said just to go alone with it, and pretend to do as he says,he wanted me to get rid of the baby so i said to him if i do ur doing EVERYTHING with me and he said ok, but when it got down to having the scan to see how far i was i was already 10 weeks gone and he saw the baby n smiled,

this baby will either make us or break us but im willing to give it a go coz i want the baby. People who are 16 and really trying for a baby dont understand what amount of pressure it puts on relationships....and expecially on yourself when ur on your own for the first time coz ur partner goes to work etc. 

I try to get him involved as much as possible, like name choosing, looking at clothes, i even agreed to letting him get the car he wanted just because we needed a bigger car really but he dont know that lol.

now he cant wait and tells everyone, lol. the local shop keeper knows lol. im not even four months gone but if it makes him happy lol. xxxxx

My boyfriend was uber-pleased even though im only 9 weeks he talks to my belly and falls asleep with his hand on it. He finds it really dificult to deal with my mood swings and my tearfulness, he doesnt quite understand the hormone side of things. Every now and then I remind him that this isnt going to be easy, I'm nearly 17 and hes 18, so being this young and having very little support is upsetting me and putting strain on him. He's getting there.

{bg) Due Feb 14th 2009

Thank you very much for replys.

my boyfriend is 19 and he admited he is worried about money but we worked out what were earining and what we will be paying and we have plently left over after iv told him aswell that of course he can go out still with friends his not gonna loose his social life.

and i told him i wasnt very happy with the way he is with pregnancy and he said im sorry babes i dont mean to be funny i just dunno lol.. so his ok and i got my first scan in a couple of weeks :D and i didnt think he could go cos his got a tight scheduled job and is hard for him to get days off but he has and his coming so im really happy about that and i think if he see's it he will  get more excited.

thanks again for replys they have been great

goodluck with all your babies and pregnancys x x x:D

hiya un dont worry your boyfriend sounds a goodun mine has been crap threw every pregnancy  ive had with 1st we were young demanded an abortion 2nd i misscarried at 16 weeks and he didnt even come to hossy when i told him lost the baby 3rd we had our son who he loves to bits and is a great dad 4th preg hes not interested in the slightest didnt give a toss when we lost babys twin at 7 weeks and doesnt pay any attension to the fac tim 32 weeks gone goes out everyweeknd leaving me at home looking afte rout 15 month old son on my own but i know when babys ere he will be a great dad to this one 2 ,men cant relate to something unless its smack bang infront of them lol and while you doing the hard part he doesnt have to do anything so until he has to do something he wont some men are just like that if they cant see it they dont bother lol

chin up some men just arnt considrate in the slightest in preg but turn ou tto be great dads! while my best mate her boyfriend was great in her preg but when baby was born he hasnt seen him since he was a week old

hope all is ok for you im sure it will be

Hi,

Is your bf quite young? Just asking as possibly he feels that  his young, free days are over! But we all know having a baby doesnt stop you going out to the pub or to a club, he might just feel that its gonna limit him in seeing his friends etc.

Id just give him time to adjust to the idea. Another reason he might not seem happy is the worry about money. My dh is nearly 30 and still worries. Maybe sit down and talk to him and see what the issues are.

x

i agree that the bloke always thinks their youth is ruined or something, my df was so excited about the baby but as we talk to each other i new he was wondering if he would still get nights out (he is 25 and dont plenty of clubing already) and of course they think they arnt going to have any money left for themselfs! i have 5 weeks to go and he always sits there with his hand on my belly coz he loves to feel her move, but thats all they get until baby is born and says that he still cant believe that there will be a baby here soon and doesnt realy feel real to him! i understand that as they dont get to experience what we do carrying the baby!

just make sure he goes to scans and when baby starts to move get him involved he will soon get excited! mw appiontments though wont be any intrest to him so dont worry about him not going as its all about checking you!

My dp was great when we found out (took test together). He came to every appointment and took me everywhere as he was scared i'd go into early labour or I might fall victim to a mugging He loved every part before and after the birth. He stayed up at nights and we took it in turns to have a lie in until the end of his paternity leave.

Then 2 years later he started to act quite laddish and suddenly went out more with his friends and made me feel like crap because he was 'losing his youth' at then 19. We split for two weeks in which he went to see his nan, he came back very upset and sorry but then had to go away for work for the past 3 months. He is now coming home early in two weeks because he misses us.

Many young men go through phases like these, perhaps yours is just doing it earlier than mine did xxxxxxx

slightly different as my bf had good reaction to my news - but after couple of weeks i thought he had gone of the idea, didnt seem interested in pg at all, i wanted to talk about it a lot and he didnt seem interested, as if he just wasnt bothered - i was worried that was how he was going to stay!

as soon as he could get involved that all changed, after scan he got really excited, and after feeling baby kick he has been great, as excited as me! maybe u should try saying something to him, see wot his reaction is, u will no how he feels then. and hopefully if he goes to the scan he might seem more interested.

think in my case it was because its not that real to them yet - we feel sick and tired (well most of us) but nothing really changes for them at first so it might just not have sunk in yet!

hope all goes well for u! xx

aww thanks for reply

he is a really good boyfriend so i really hope he will turn around soon and realise it aint going away and will be happy, or at least pretend lol..

ooh your nearly there gooooodluck

x

Hiya hun I was the exact same as you when i first found out. Although my boyfriends reactions were alot worse. He said he didnt want the baby, and that he would stick by the baby but not me. Weird i know. However a few days later he came round. We only have 4 weeks to go and he still dont understand. He hasnt bought anything for baby and he works full time, never comes to mw appointments with me and always moans when i walk too slow But we have to be geared up for pregnancy, its our body that copes with it. They just deal with it whern it comes.

I know its frustratiing sometimes but bare with it, he will come round in time. When you start buying bits, or when you have your 1st scan. Believe me it took my boyfriend our 1st scan to realize its what he wanted. He cried, but i was rather dissapointed as my dates worked out id be 12wks yet i was 10+5. So real bumma for me.

It will be hard for both of you top cope with, but with each others help you will get through it. Make sure you both communicate well, as you will need lots of this. Dunno if i helped much, but at least he's sticking by you./ Remember some boys would run a mile, thats the way i saw it. As for telling his friends things, i wouldnt worry. My bf's nmates say he says stuff, but what he says to me is what matters cos i know he tries to be summit he aint in front of them

Stop worrying yourself and have a lovely pregnancy Rachael & Pink Bump. 36+0 x

our baby wasnt planned but im happy... my bf was of course shocked  and a little worried at first but then come round to it and go excited a bit, and now he just keeps changing 1 min his excited, the next his not. he tells me its ok we'll be fine, but tell shis friends he doesnt no what to do and all this. his a great boyf and we have been together 4 years. and i no for a fact he would never leave me because of the baby. but im worried he will carry on like this through the hole of it,  he never asks how i am,  i went and saw the midwife for first time today and he didnt remember,  the other day i felt really sick and we was in the town and i said i need to sit down i dont feel well and he moaned saying ooh cant we just look around and i said its not my fault im sick and his just like ino its not but every time we go out u feel ill and we cant do nothing, i was so annoyed but he dont seem to understand and wondered why i was giving him silent treatment, then another time i nearly fainted cos i just went soo light headed and he didnt really care was just liek u orite now? ok lets go. aaarghh!!! idiot, please tell me he will get better lol. im only 10 weeks