A strange thing happened last week on holiday, we were on the beach and ds had his dummy with him, he lost it on the way back up and then we had to go and buy another dummy- he refused all dummies we offered him and we had a fairly difficult time getting him to sleep for the whole of the week. There were dummies in his cot but he never put them near his mouth. A whole week had passed and I thought that both of them had seen the last of dummies but when we got home there was one identical to the one we lost and he just put it in his mouth! How fussy! I can't believe he went a whole week just because it wasn't the right dummy. Still going well with dd though thankfully. Hope it has gone well for you.

personally i would let her continue to have it but only at bedtime, illness times and maybe a short time in the run up to bedtime.  if she doesn't have it at school or when out then she is able to limit the times she needs it.  She does have another year till school.  I had a dummy till age 5 (just for nighttimes) 

Well done!! My ds1 had his until he was 3 and a half and we got it down to just one dodi. When he was naughty we would cut the teats off! Anyway we went on holidayin a caravan one time and said we had left it there! He was absolutely fine!! We expected tantrums galore but was fine. This time my ds2 is 14 months and we have just got rid of his cos he was biting holes in them and i wasnt going to keep buying them every day. We just went cold turkey and altho the 1st week was a bit tough we are now fine!

just wnated to say you both did brilliantly, i know how hard it can be with ds1 but it sounds like you did really good, we went cold turkey and had two ngihts from hell!!!! dreading it with the new baby!

Hi, just wanted to let you know that you inspired me and we decided to get rid of the dummy too. Me and dd put them all in the bin and she went to bed with no fuss and didn't even ask.The next night she asked once and made a little fuss the next night, tonight she didn't mention it at all. I have told her the dummy fairy will bring her a present next week but she didn't seem that bothered. I am really pleased we made the effort and am relieved we have finally done it. Thanks!

Well done stick at it she will be fine. I no there is about 2 kids at los school that have dummys still and she is going in to yr 1 in sept.

hi everyone, and thankyou for all the replies, i read them all and used your advice, and have some good news!

Yesterday after a few days of constantly saying its time to be saying goodbye to the dummy we (dd helped!) cut the teats off the doddies like someone suggested. Then dd got a bit upset, so I talked it through, asked her what toy she wanted most (a big girls bike with a dolly seat....wich i was planning on getting her any with some money she had saved) so i told her she could get one tommorrow.

She asked a couple of times but I just said 'oh we don't have them now' and changed the subject. I was at a meeting at nursery last night so she went round my mums for a couple of hours. She had fallen asleep on the sofa after just asking a couple of times. I brought her home about 11 pm and she woke up getting into bed and we had a bit of drama but nowhere near the hysteria in the past. Then the cat who absolutly refuses to go near her with fear usually, jumped on the bed and snuggled into her. I told her it was because she didn't have the dodie and she could see she wasn't a baby anymore and would be gentle. Well that cheered her up no end and after a couple more mumbles for the dummy she fell asleep.

Today she went to nursery and told them and they made a huge fuss, gave her a sticker and told the whole group what a big girl she is now. Her bike is up and waiting for her coming home complete with dolly seat, basket and streamers!

Hopefully this is it we are through the worst and this time it wasn't anywhere near as bad as attempts in the past. I think this time she was ready for it. She lost her bottle really young and with no issues and potty trained quickly so I guess they all have their little thing they cling onto and hers was the dummy.

I did keep one incase of emergancy but am going to put it in her baby box now

thanks again!

Hi there im new here as my dd starts "big school" this august! We had a terrible time with older dd ,she was 3 when she stopped. She only had it at bed and nap time but it was like now or never! We tried the santa thing but like you she was like"dont want toys,want dummy" but you have to persevere as other posters have said .I ended up telling dd to suck her thumb for comfort if she felt she really needed it [not ideal, i know] but she soon stopped that too.

It will be hard for you as they form such an emotional attachment to them it stays with me still ,so much so i never gave younger dd a dummy as did'nt want to repeat the experience!

Good luck!

Heya I sympathise with you on this one...

When my dd was 3 we chucked all the dummies in the bin on bin day and we watched the bin men take the bin away. I never ever heard a peep from her about them again. You just have to take the plunge, think of your strategy and then stick to it. Praise and reward will always work if you're consistent...

xx

my dd used to have about 3 at one time she would only have it in the car or bed, i waited till she was almost 4 at chirstmas we put them in a special gift box and left them for santa, took her to bed and she never mentioned it again, i think if you do it this chtistmas she may understand more.

you could try cutting the teats off them all and leave one teat, tell her if she loses that one dummy you cant buy her any more but she can have the dummy with no teat on, my friend did this and it worked for her and her dd got fed up of holding it with no teat but still took it to bed for comfort just to hold.

my son whos 11 months keeps chucking his away but he has to have it to sleep.

My dd used to have her dummy quite a lot.  She had to have it to sleep, when she was in the car and when she was in a shopping trolley!  And at other times too probably.  When she was nearly 3 we'd had enough and the dentist said it'd permenantly shift her teeth if she didnt stop having it.  So we gave her plenty of warning but said she had to give them to the birthday bunny.  So the night before her third birthday she put them in a box, wrapped it up and then at bedtime she screamed for 2 hours still she fell asleep!  I felt bad but sat next to her bed still she finally fell asleep.  My husband had also got her a bag with little presents in - cheap stuff but bits and bobs girls like like a little purse, a little doll, a bracelet, a bottle for her doll etc.  For every night she slept without her dummy (not that she was going to get it back but she didnt know that), she got to pick a prize out of the bag.  I think there were prizes for a week or maybe two.  The second night she fell asleep pretty quick but she had had her birthday party so was shattered.  And that was it.  Its not easy but you have to be determined to do it and if you think about it, your child isnt being hurt by it.  My ds (20 months) has a dummy but I've been careful not to give it him much, only for sleeping.  But I'll probably still have to do all this to get rid of it when he's 3 though.  Good luck, let us know how you get on. x

Hi - I think you need to decide what you are going to do and stick to it, I started with it never leaves your bedroom - that way she can have it for bed and if you are in the room but not outside it - I had a little box by the door that she had to put it in when she left the room and could get it out when she went to bed.

I know its hard but if you say you are going to do something and then because she cries (albeit hysterically) you back down she will continue to do it - I think you have maybe one or two hard days and then they start to forget - Good Luck x

my ds will be 3 yrs and 3 months at xmas and already we have said to him that all his dummies will need to go in a box wrapped for father xmas and in return he will give some pressies. He seems happt to do that lets just wait and see

Hi, my daughter was very attached to her dummy as well.  It was just before christmas and like you I had tried most things to get her to stop using it when one day the teat of the dummy just disintergrated!  It had a massive hole in it and of course could not be used.  I showed my daughter this and told her to put it in the bin.  That night she asked for her dummy and I reminded her that the dummy had broken and had to be thrown away.  The first night she cried herself to sleep (you have to be really strong and stick your ground on this one) the 2nd night she cried for about half an hour and the 3rd night she fell asleep without crying and we have never looked back.  Good Luck x

Buy her a special bear that she can cuddle instead (won't work at first but might once she realises she is not getting a dummy back). Spend a week telling her how she is a big girl now and big girls don't have dummies. Take her to a toy shop let her choose something and tell her that's what she'll get when she doesn't have a dummy anymore because it's a special big girl toy. Remind her of this every day throughout the week. This may sound like your torturing her but what you are really doing is allowing her time to think about what is coming.

When the week is up tell her it's time to get rid of the dummy so she can have the big girl toy. Collect every dummy up, cut the end off with a pair of scissors and throw them in the bin. This is important because it means you can't give in to her when things get tough. Once she has gone  without the dummy for the night, take her to buy her big girl toy.

It will be tough but can be done, my dd was a few days off of being three when I did it. Good luck.

Hi, we are in a similar situation as my dd is 4 tomorrow and still has a dummy. She only has it to go to bed and I seemed to have given up on the fight to get rid of it! We have tried in the past and actually had got rid of it for about a month or two and then they crept back in as her baby brother has one. I don't know how much she has it but my advice would be to wean her off it so don't take it out the house, then only for tv and bed, then only for bed. It is the only way we have made progress- the cold turkey is painful! I used to worry about it be to be honest now I think it is her comfort and she only has it at night. Eventually we will get rid of it but for now I dont care what anyone else thinks! Good luck with it.

Mine never had dummies but my friends children did. Her dd isn't willing to give up her dummies but is only allowed them at bedtime. I doubt many people even know, she keeps them under her pillow, has one to fall asleep and her Mum goes in and takes it out a while later. They have tried a couple of times (did the Christmas thing too) but her dd would go hysterical. They haven't brought any new ones so they're all very old now.

Could you compromise with your dd? Explain why you don't want her to have it, ask her why she thinks she needs it and then suggest that she only has it at bedtime. If she struggles to go without it at home then spend as much time out and about as possible as a distraction.

hi hun, really didn't want to read and run with this one.  what a nightmare!  I don't have experience of this but I am sure someone will be along soon to help you out with some good advice.  I think there are two possible solutions:

a) go cold turkey and don't look back, do what you can to distract her, praise her when she does well.  Make sure you have lots and lots in to help her - new crayons, colouring books, DVD, that kind of thing.  Even a few sweets or something she likes you can 'bribe' her with, lol!  But don't give her the dummy back no matter how hard she cries - she can't keep it up all day, all week, for the rest of her life!  She'll soon get the message.  This would require nerves of steel on your part, however.

b) Plan it with her - find something she really, really wants and use that as the thing to exchange the dummy for.    Could you leave all her dummys on the toyshop shelf in exchange for the one thing she wants? 

Either way, you need to get rid of the dummies so you don't give in/can't give in.  I'm sure it will work out - maybe going on about how big girls don't have dummies and point out a few people she might consider 'role models' (someone at playgroup, nursery, playschool, for example) so she's got something to think about.  Hope that helps, let us know how you get on.

Hi, My daughter is almost 4 , wont be going to school until sept 2009, but I thought I'd ask here to see if anyone else had this problem and how they solved it.

My daughter still has a dummy. I getting really distressed by it now as I have tried all kinds since last xmas when she was 3 to get rid of it. We tried giving it to santa for the babies and he would leave some toys for her. She put them under the tree went to bed then said she didn't want any toys just her dummies and was so upset.

I've tried sticker charts and bribery

I've tried cold turkey.

For 8 months now the result is she ends up hysterical, crying, making herself sick, hyperventalating. The longest I allowed the cold turkey was for 2 hours and she did not calm down, It seemed cruel.

She doesn't have it at nursery or when we are out. But at home wants it a lot and deffinatly for bed.

My eldest son just threw his away when he was 2 and that was that so I wasn't expecting this.

I'm really upset as people are now making comment, it causes her to dribble while she has it and tbh it looks wrong, but I don't know how to do it as she gets in such a state.

Please help, it seems to have gone beyond normal dummy dependancy if that makes sense. Has anyone been in a similar situation with older child and dummies and how did they get rid of it.

I rue the day I offered her one now