As far as im aware..(not def) you should not have to pay anything if your not working. The fact that your partner is working should have no bearing, he is not blood relation to child so not his responsibility. His earnings should not come into it.

ps, last post but one from me was meant to say £50 a week  maintenecae, not 350!!!!! that would have been lovely!!

hes just an **hole, thinks hesbigger and better than i am, cos he married money and managed to buy a house whilst i was in a council house looking after his son. no i dont work, but my husband does, i cant see how the csa would expect money from us when we are at breaking point with money anyway, im just sooo angry i have spent yrs trying to not let me son know what i think of his dad as its not fair to him, only for him know to act like a complete idiot, infront of our son, and tell it to him all.

i`d love my ason back, however it was his choice to go and live with his dad, and im not going against that.

This guy sounds well dodgy. Is he keeping your son?? if so you may have to pay something but only if you work.

hi, thanks guys for all your replies.

my ex is very sneaky,.....

he wants to portray me & my hubby as idiots who live in council house as he has married into money.

he has now just phoned asking for maintence money from me. he has no other children with his wife, just our son, and i have 2 with my hsuband. i dont work however my hubby is self emplyed and works 6 days a week, upto 15 hours a day, and we get wtc, and c tac credit. i dont work, i stay at home looking after a 3 yr old a 8 month old.

when our son was living with us , i let him pay just 350 a week maintence so he didnt jhve to go thru the csa as he didnt think it was fair on his then girlfriend( now wife) who earns in excess of 40k, as our son isnt hers, and he didnt think she should have to pay, altho my husbnad did willing and has done for 8yrs........

arrrggghhh im gonna scream,

he says he knows i earn money, by selling bits n pieces on ebay, ie my childrens old clothes, i probably make about £25 a month if that, someitmes,!!!!!!!!

i cant bel;ieve he is like this, i spent 2 yrs trying to get him to see his son, when he said he had a life, and better things to do,

then arguements abiout payments because of his wife,

now just because hes all lovely and sorted and can afford to have bought his own house.... he now wants money off meee..

You do not need to sign over any parental rights. As you say it may not work out, he may come back and you are still his mother. What your ex needs is parental responsibility granting so that he can give the go ahead for medical treatment etc although tbh I dont think there can be many situations where this would be needed. What do hospitals do if a child comes in with injuries with no parents ? they do what  is best for the child, this is what they would always do anyway so I really dont think its that much of an issue however parental responsibilty gets around this. It also gives the right to have a say in the childs life, i.e what school they attend and how they are raised etc so you may want to bear this in mind. Either way talk to citizens advice or similar as they will be able to tell you how to go about it.

Do you mean for a visit or for good?

If you mean a visit he just needs a letter saying he can sign for medical treatment.

If residency isn't clear cut ie an order in place and your son is only staying for a week or so be very careful what you sign.

What he is asking you to do is hand over your rights meaning you would have signed your son over to him!!!!

If he is going for a week and you think he may not return him seek legal advice on residency orders asap.

Emma

s.n.a.t.ch

no you dont have to hand over your parental responsability if he goes to live with his father.... my hubbie had this with his ex. only with them it were different reasons.. (basically she was refusing him any contact with his son so he had to take her to court for access which was granted),, but the judge also gave joint parental responsability, which means they both have a say in there sons life.....so you need to ask for a joint parental responsilbility....

there is also a residence order, which i wouldnt advice, that means your son gets to stay at your ex,s house and you cant take him away without your ex`s permission, ( i had to get one of those for my 2 children after my ex, decided to s*** them and wouldnt give them back )....

hope this helps you and good luck with your son

I would ring citizens advice bureau see what they say.  Sure you could set up joint parental rights with a solicitor without too much bother.

I am not quite sure how you would do this, but I know it is possible, but why not get joint parental rights? You would need to consult a solicitor to arrange this, but then you would both be responsible for your son. I think you are very brave to arrange this, I could not do it myself, but you never  know what the future may hold. Do not sign anything without advice, you do not want to be left in the position where you are cut out of your son's life. I know this may sound harsh, but you never know what plan's your son's father and family may have. Good luck xxx

I agree with you not handing over full parental rights. I don't really understand what it means, it sounds like it means they could do what they like and you wouldn't have any power to stop them. But maybe it means giving him fathers rights without taking your rights away.

I can understand he wants some parental responsibility but I don't think that means you should have to give up yours. I think if it was me I'd seek some legal advice, maybe go to the CAB and ask them about laws and stuff.

TBH I think you need to think about this more

You don't want to give up your parental responsibility but you are handing him to his Dad (that is in no way meant to offend)

my 12 yr old boy is going to live with his father next week, only 17 miles away, but this is the first time he going to live with him( they have no there children). we were never married.

i have kept things amicable for all his life with hs father as i have parents who still b*** 30 yrs after getting divorced.

however my ex is a bit up himslef, hes married into alot of money and "uperclass" people. he now wants me to sign a document stating that i hand over my full parental rights.

i dont want to do this however, in case it doesnt work out. but he says he needs it for emergenies etc. like if my son went to hospital and needed treatment, and they couldnt get hold of me, he needs to have authority to say yes.( as an unmarried couple- fathers dont have any rights to the child).

im quite happy to sign a piece of paper giving him permission to go ahead with any form of treatment if it benefits my son, and they cant get hold of me. he could carry this with his important docs. but i dont want to give up all responsibilty, incase anything happens and i ceratinly dont have money to fight( if it ever came to it, they are quite sneaky) them.

they dont think im that greater mum, however its so easy to judge people when you dont have or ever had any kids to look after, we all had ideals before we had children!!!

 but i have 2 other children also!! and my 12 yr is "hard work""

however i love him deeply, and have stayed at home all his life to give him my best.

sorry about loooooong post!!!!!