Hi trish31, My son is sobbing his little heart out from the time he gets up until i leave the class.....he is only in montesori though. Do you have any tips on how to put his mind at ease as he seems to have a great time once he is there and stops crying minutes after I am gone but it is breaking my heart listening to him crying his little heart out all morning. Any tips would be apprecieated. thanks.

My on was like that for a while when he started school last year. He didn’t like it when we left, but he was better when he went though the school office.

We talked to the teacher & she helped out alot. We said bye in the morning & had a routine of saying goodbye and a kiss, then his teacher would take his hand & help him into school (distract him). They even got his best  mate to help as well.

We managed to get there early and get him to go play b4 the start of school. It worked and the routine helped as well. He goes in and we have a hug, kiss on the head and he waves me until I go round the corner.

hi i am a grandmother whos grandson is going through the sme pain with starting school. my daughter comes back from taking him in crying herself because he is so upset. he is always asking if he has to go back and if it is going to be a quick hour it is so heartbreaking. i know from experiance with my own kids that they are all different and there is no easy answer to this you just have to take one day at a time and then all of a sudden they want to go and get upset because its home time, i know this doesnt give any answers because there is none . but it always gets better.

My ds started school Monday last week & I was really worried about him.  When he was at nursery he clung on to my leg EVERY time he went & he was there for a year!!!  In fact, the manager at nursery told me that I should get it sorted out otherwise he would be bullied & called a mummy's boy when he starts school (charming!!). 

I was so concerned that I mentioned it to school & his teacher phoned me before they broke up for the summer holidays.  She told me not to worry & that he of course wouldn't be bullied & that they were used to dealing with it etc.  Anyway, saw the teacher a week before he started & she told me that some children can be clingy at the beginning, but she also said that quite a few become clingy after they have been going a few weeks!!!  Basically when the novelty has worn off & that they have to do it every day lol!!!

So, once your dd has settled there will prob be other children that start to be clingy etc - so it's better to be clingy now lol!!!

My ds hasn't been clingy at all (major surprise) - so I'm hoping that he wont start in a few weeks.

Don't worry your dd will settle ;0)

when my son first started nursery he cried everyday from sept til xmas and some days he started crying in the evening before he went to bed about having to go to school the next day so it's not only your child.  They do grow out of it and i know it is hard.  See if your partner or dad or someone can drop her to school instead of you as I found my son was worse with me than with other people.

Oh hon, this is such a common problem and I know exactly how you feel. My youngest dd was the same when she started school 2 years ago.

You've got to think it's all new to them, and they've had a long summer holiday in between too! They have a new teacher, the school seems strange to them and they're in a class with new children. It's hard...

You're doing all the right things, like arranging to see her teacher etc, but I promise you, things will get better once she settles into this new environment.

I bet when you felt ready to ring the school she'd calmed down a lot...? My dd used to cling to me for dear life and it used to break my heart, but when I rang back when I was home, they would ensure me that she was fine.

Inviting a friend over for tea is a great idea, as once my dd had built a good friendship, it seemed to make things easier. I also agreed with her that if she went into school without any tears and she was a 'big girl', I would wave to her from the window and blow her a kiss.

A friend of mine had awful problems with her dd, and she kind of bribed her (for want of a better word!) in the end! If she was a good girl and had no tears, she could choose something nice at the weekend ie a magazine, little toy etc.

My dd is now Y2, and on about the 4th day of dropping her off she said she didn't need me to come in any longer - she now gives me a kiss and cuddle and goes in (I always wave to her from the window and blow her a big kiss!!)

I hope this gets better soon. But you are not alone and not everyone else is happy! xx

Don't convince yourself that all the other children are happy and you are the only one who has the problem you are having with your child.  My guess is that if you spoke to other parents you would find that a fair few of them go through the same as you at home too.

It is a good idea to sit down with the teacher and see if there is a problem in the classroom.  It may be that your child doesn't feel comfortable yet with all the changes that have happened in their little life.  Do you know any of the other Mums?  Perhaps you could invite one of them over with their child after school so that the two of them can play together.

My DD was pretty much the same when she started in reception last year - I found that she was stuggling making friends as all the others knew at least one other child, my DD didn't know anybody at all.  I felt guilty for that because it was me who had chosen her nursery and it was me who didn't want the inconvenience of her being at a different pre-school.

It took my DD until the first half term to settle in properly, but it got better as the weeks went on.

don't think you are alone in this though - you are definitely not.

xxx

oh im sorry for you, its really heart breaking when they get upset at things we cant do nowt about - both my dd's cried  when they started school/playschool and i know its not what you want to hear but there isnt really an answer,but it honestly does get better, they do settle after a while, some just take longer then others - i had the same distraction technique gooing on with my dd and it made me feel so down and wore me out emotionally as it was on my mind all day how she was and then worryin about the next day - you have my heartfelt sympathies honey - speak to the teacher as you said and try and work something with you lo's teacher to make it a bit easier but i do genuinly think that it will settle in a relatively short space of time  xxxxxxxxx

It's been getting gradually worse since she started school 1 1/2 weeks ago. I tried the distraction technique this morning - gave DD her book bag to put in her tray while giving her a hug and kiss goodbye and it all went horribly wrong.

She started clinging, so I asked the assistant teacher to take her off me which she tried to do but DD was going crazy by then, screaming Mummy over and over again. Her teacher stepped in and I had to leave to avoid it getting any worse but I can still hear her screaming for me in my head and haven't stopped crying since I left her about 1/2 hour ago.

When I can speak without crying I'm going to phone the school and arrange to sit down with DD and her teacher after school to try and sort this out coz I really can't keep doing this. I've had to work from home today coz driving in the state I'm in would just be dangerous...

I just want her to be happy like all the other kids...