So glad you went back to the Docs peggy, I know where you're coming from with the depression thing..........had it nearly 30 years! It got so bad that on a trip to the States a few years back I was just about to step off a big mountain when hubby stopped me. I just felt so dead & empty inside. Anyway, I went to the docs which was probably the hardest thing to admit to depression. Why does it have such a stigma? I felt such a failure but I'm sure tons of people have it. I'm so glad you were able to talk to your Dr. Been on Prozac (fluoxetine) for about 6 years now & had 4 years of counselling (A lot of it relates to the awful childhood I had tho). I was told taking Prozac while ttc or pg was ok.

Anyway, hun, sorry for the jumbled up rambling! just wanted to send a virtual hug & say I know how you are feeling right now xxx

awww hun, big hugs to you xx Miscarriage is a tragic thing, I've had 5 altogether, 2 were last year & I still occassionally feel really tearful so what you're feeling is perfectly normal. The baby I lost in June was at 12 wks & I had seen it's little heart beating away at 7 wks & I just can't ge that image out of my mind . It does get easier but it took me probably 3 or 4 months till I got to the stage where I wasn't thinking about it all the time (& then I had ANOTHER mc )

Everyone is different but please don't be hard on yourself. Give yourself time to grieve &  help yourself to heal. ((HUGS))

Yes lets keep this thread runing!! depression is so hard to fight but because we have been through it before you know you can get through this!!! I find it easier to talk on here than with my family (although we are all close) cos im s trong one and like to keep it that way!  Other people reading may get some comfort from be some comfort. from this thread too!  I do thinnk when we are depressed we feel isolated and we sometimes feel we are the only ones in the world that feel this way!  Your right focus on getting well to try for a bro/sis for your litttle angel i know it cant replace what your have lost but you are  still herre and have to focus on your needs now!   I had my mc in july and am already wanting to be pregnant again like yesterday! i miss my little bean lots and am so upset that im not pregnant anymore but i keep thinking that it happened for a reason and he/she was not strong enough to stay!

keep strong!! and im here to talk anytime  im addicted to this site as well as poas!! lol

talk soon

sheri xx

sherri (hugs) thank you for your post and advice, its good to talk to someone who can really relate to how i feel.  Def go and and see your doctor again hun, it sounds as though your feeling anxious a bit like me, dont ignore it hun def go back! 

Your dead right about the depression thing, this is my third "proper" bout in seven years, my first was pnd and that was the worst, my second was when i moved and i was socially isolated and that was worse than how I am feeling now - and actually  this has got to be the most traumatic experience of my life so far.....and even though I know I am depressed, I am actually doing alright in comparrison to the other times I have had it.

I think coz we know the signs, we act on them quicker.....i know without my health I am nothing....and nothing has the right to take my health from me so I am gonna fight it. 

Talk about a roller coaster.......this has been the worst experience of my life. I so just want to feel normal again - but I agree each experience does make us stronger.  At the moment I feel like I am dying inside but reading what you have said  i am starting to feel strong again, knowing I have some help....I aint going back not there again!  No Way!

I miss and love my baby loads and loads, but I do need to move on now and I need to accept that I cant change what has happened, I cant bring my baby back.   I'll never forget, but (^i^please forgive me baby yellow ^i^) I need to focus on me now and get my strength back, so I am in a good  and healthy place to conceive a baby. (^i^ a baby brother or sister for you and your big brothers x ^i^)

Please do let me know how you are getting  on Sherri , on this thread if you like, i dont mind! We maybe able to help each other x

 xx X xx

Thanks dotty for advice! you are suffering yourself but still have stenghth t o give advise! your a legend! i have sufferd panic attacks before actually on and off since the age of 10 but i thought i had learned how to cope with them but since mc its just gone mad!!   i think i probably will go to drs in next couple of days if they continue.

As for the depression  i ve been on ad ,s on four different occasions! my doc says if you are prone to depression it will creep up time to time and everytime it does we find after we are stronger than before! if that makes sence!   If you were waitung three cycles anyway id take em and hopefully u will feel better and ready to go through ttc again!

i like a drink too and i have to admit that i did drink abit the last time i was ad,s  which i knew i should not have but at the time it makes u feel betteer! but  in the morning it does not! and yeah it does counter act what tabs are doing!!   I know what you are going through babes and i sincerley hope u feel better soon .  xx  enjoy ur couple of glasses or five!! tonight

take care   sheri xxx

Sheri -  I suffered with mild asthma during my second pregnancy, and I have been  in remission for quite a while,  but just recently my chest feel tight, breathless etc..... it is my anxiety that makes me feel like that, so I have been using my inhaler when i've needed it.

It maybe worth talking to your gp about this, what you are feeling is very real and it can be very frightening too!  Your gp may prescribe an inhaler to help you with your panic attacks and suggest ways that will help you and get rid of them for good.   ((hugs))

Well.....i've seen my gp today, I just wernt feeling right, she has i thought she would of done has prescribed me anti-depressants :0(    I havent taken one yet, i know i need them but i've read the leaflet and it puts me off taking them again.  I dont like being on them but i know i need them, when i had severe pnd those tablets saved my life. 

I am so  very sad and weepy today.   She done a test on me, where i had to answer questions and i "scored" mild depression......which is good  in a sense, it means that i've beaten "it" before it really gets a hold of me. 

Hopefully I wont be on them too long, 3 months i reckon.   Puts my ttc on hold i think???  I was gonna wait 3 cycles anyway, so if i'm feeling better in two months time i'll talk to my doctor about coming off them so i can ttc. 

It says NOT to drink alchohol on them (i like a drink!)......i know from previous experience that alcohol basicually counter acts them and i'll end up more depressed, so i'm having a couple of glasses tonight, and i'll start the tablets tomorrow....and do as it says leave the alcohol well alone.....

My doctor basicually said that miscarriage is a trauma, and trauma can cause depression, i said to her that i dont feel i'll ever get over what happened to me, but she told me its depression that is making me feel like that and that I will feel better in time, i just cant see it yet.    I feel so sh!t that I am back here again.....i f-ing hate depression, its a B-rstard and its got me again......ALMOST!

If anyone reading this that can identify with me, please dont leave it.....not everyone needs anti-depressants, but take it from someone who knows what severe depression is like.....you so do not want to go there!  If you aint feeling right, please seek help x

Thanks girls for your support and your own story, its good to know that there is someone there who understands xxx

Dont wanna take over your thread but i have had three panic attacks today infact the whole of today has been a struggle im not completly over stressed or anyting today so cant work it out but the panic attacks have made me low and wernt low untill they started!! our bodies are really complicated arnt they??  i think deep down in our brain we have all the thoughts of whats happened to us recently and although not conciously thinking about it its there !  Im sure i can handle another pani c attak today (everytime i get one i think im dying cos i cant breathe!!)  Your not alone in how you feel i thin we just all have different ways its comes out and different periods of time for us to recover!  Talking on here takes my mind off it and i dont feel so panicky! but cant be on here 24/7 kids wont let me!!   Hope your feeling a litle better ! i guess we have to get through these feelings as best we can untill we find the right way to cope with them xx

Love to everyone who is feeling down! or panicky/stressed

Sheri xxxx

It sounds like youve been through a lot lately.  I would give your mum a call and just say your thinking about her and let her know you understand how she feels. That way you will have one less thing to worry about.  Yr feelings of anxiety sound familiar to me, I felt like this 3mths after I had our dd. I felt like an outsider looking in iykwim, I was anxious about everything, what people thought about me etc.  I also would have to have the house tidy at all times and felt anxious even when I left some dishes in the sink! ridiculous I know.  I dont think it was depression and I didnt want to go to my gp as I knew he would perscribe ad (he hands them out v easily). Someone recommend I go and see a chinese dr, she was so understanding I cried when I talked to her. She gave me 3wks of  natural treatment and I started to feel my old self again and I got more energy. I was skeptical about seeing her but now I would recommend to anyone. It might really help you. I hope you feel better soonxxxx

thanks girls,  its good to know that it is normal, i just want to feel really "normal " again though!

i started off okay today.  i went to my grandfathers funeral, not as sad as one would expect as we wernt close, basicually he divorced my nan and left us and the family for 10 years - not a word, he knew my mum was pregnant with me at the time of the divorce but he didnt even know if  i were a boy or a girl til i was 10!  he stuck around for 3 years then b-ggered off again 4 years!!  by the time he resurfaced at 17, it was too late, we saw him occasionally, but i just couldnt develop a realtionship with him.

anyhow, cut a long story short he re-married in those missing 10 years and for the first time i met her family (i've met his wife loads of times) and it was like the missing piece of the jigsaw, i'd met her neices for the first time and from the stories they were telling it was like he had played grandfather to them!   me and my brother sat there not really knowing what to say, we didnt have childhood memories to share....i felt a stranger and a sense of not belonging, even though me, my mum and brother were the only blood relatives there - it was the strangest funeral i have ever been too. 

my mum rang tonight and wanted to chat, it was the first time she had met all her step mothers family too, non of my mums family apart from us had attended. (family is totally broken up) apparantly one of the neices raised her eyebrows as my mum was reminising about her dad and my mum heard her say "here she goes again" - non of us heard it but mum quickly made her excuses and left.  

she is really hurt by what she said....and i just cant talk to her about it, it makes me feel anxious. i only went to the funeral for her and to respect him as my mums dad. but  i feel so bad for letting her down that i just cant talk to her about it.   i have my own thoughts and resentments, it was rather hurtful to hear them talking about my grandfather playing games and having trips out with them.....knowing full well we were out there somewhere.

i'm a bit of a mess really.....too much is going on right now for me to contend with, i feel like s*** tonight as it goes.

maybe i should give her a call, she knows i am feeling anxious right now but just explain that i know she needs to talk but i just cant do it, not right now??

Dotty you are perfectly normal don't worry about it...if you stay on this forum long enough (and i hope you don't and you get your bfp) but you will see so many of us have ups and downs and a lot of us mc'd longer ago than you. Its so annoying because just as you think you are doing well things like af, ppl announcing they are preg, having babies etc really seem to send you back to square one again.  I am sure if your children are playing up cos the school hols then that makes you feel worse too.

Just don't expect too much too soon. Sending a hug xx

Sorry ,wanted to also say :   I know its difficult when u have children allready but i found a night in just me and my partner helped. Nice dinne r film etc.  But i was lucky to get someone to have them.   I also wrote a letter to the bubs i lost (sounds silly dont it)

Telling him/her what i named then (angel) and what i felt about him/her etc etc i folded letter up and put it away safe  kinda like saying good bye  that seemed to help.    You need to give your body and mind time to heal  its a very exhausting time to go throough phisically and mentally xxx

HI,

I felt and (still am sometimes) exactly the same! Hunny it really is normal and i know untill i found this site i felt like i was alone in feeling this way. Everyone on here at some point has felt this way. It does get better i know it sounds duff but time does heal. U never forget the bubs u lost but it becomes easier to cope with. I started suffering from panic attacks and over the past week they seem to be fading.   As Lisa said try not to b hard on ur self we have been through a devasting and hard time.im not very good at giving advise and i hope i have been of some help

Take care  and stay around the site everyone has plenty of supprt to give !

sheri xxx

I will reply properly tomorrow (later) only just got to this thread.

But the long and short of it is, you are "normal" And to add to that, we deserve days where we are feeling sorry for ourself, or anxious about things, or jealous of the fat belly walking by. We are human, we have been through a traumatic ordeal, mentaly and physicaly.

Lisa x

Didnt want to post this on miscarriage or on depression, hope you dont mind me posting this here?

I dont know if its the school hols and my kids have been playing me up, i dont know if its coz i've just had my first AF, but for the last week (and i was on holiday) everyday I have been feeling anxious.  

You know that feeling of dread and sinking feeling, when you think of things, like what you have said to someone, or what someone has said to you, or your kids.....infact pretty much everything is making me feel like this.     I'm not weepy , but I do feel quite low and sad, but if i do think about my miscarriage or how i feel my eyes will well up.   The only thing that curbs it if i am actively busy or asleep.    I had severe anxiety based post natal depression after the birth of my first child, i am sh!tting myself i'm gonna get it again.....I have some symptoms of depression, but's more anxiety than anything else.

Am i panicing too soon, is it normal to feel like this after miscarriage??  Its been 2 months since i discovered my baby had died at 11 weeks.  I had my erpc on the 1st July.....am i being a little harsh with myself?

I thought i'd wait another week before seeing a doctor again - i really really dont want to go back on anti-depressant's......my doctor has given me valium, which i've been taking when i really really need it, I only have a few left now, and i know they dont like to give you too many, I feel i need something but i dont want anti-d's.

I would really appreciate some advice xxxXxxx