hi abbie,whens ur scan?sounds like ur bout same as me,im 10+3 - scan in 7 days....already had 2,one at 8 wks and another at 9+5 due to bleeds,i had a mmc in jan so been petrified since.all my symptoms have styayed throughout,and my boobs r growin n gettin sorer by the day,sickness calmin down a bit now.and not as tired!had some brown blood today but seein as it was brown and not a lot im tryin to stay calm,maybe we could be bump buddies???let me know ehn ur due,im due 28th feb....take care,emma

heya im new to this. i mc in march and found out i was pregnant again in may i am excited ut i cant bring myself to enjoy this pregnancy. i went in for a scan at 7 weeks because i started bleeding again. luckily everything was fine but now every growing pain or slight discomfort and i cant help but thinkin im goin to mc again. it must be natural to feel like this but i dont no waht to do. ive got my 12 week scan soon but really nervous about going. i couldnt cope with loosin this baby.

Weeny its normal hun honestly it is. I found out at my scan in January that my tiwns had died,so i convinced myself when i was due to go for my scan with this one that it was dead!! He wasnt he was alive and healthy..perfect. But we do that to prepare ourselves although we will never be able to prepare for that. Your scan is not that far away and you will know for sure. I am sure everything is fine. Then once you see your LO you'll be able to relax. Ive never relaxed fully but ive allowed myself to buy a few things so i can feel pregnant! And ive bought a heart doppler so if i ever need reassurance i can have it whenever i want! I hope everythings ok hun xx feel free to pm if u want to chat x

Take care Jade & Bubba 17+6 x

hi everyone, its so interesting to read everybodies posts, we all feel the same.    i dont know what it is but im still getting these awful thoughts that ive mmc again.   im 12 weeks tomorrow. ive got not my hosp apt till the 22nd and cant help thinking history is going to repeat itself.   im on annual leave from work when i go for my antenatal apt, and both my sister and mum are on holiday again,    this was the case when i found out id mmc. in feb.      perhaps im too busy reading into things.   dont know what im going to do if i have again.  i really dont think i will be able to try again if its happened. 

ive tried reading posts on dij and perhaps answering some but feel i dont want to get too attached in case the worst happens.  i feel so silly writing this down. everyone is talking baby names, prams, and allsorts and i so wish i had the happiness they share. 

dont think i will ever ever relax at all during this pregnancy. always going to presume the worst and even if im ok will have other worries as the pregnancy goes on. i hate feeling this way, i could scream.

im so sorry to waffle on, i hope you are all feeling a bit more relaxed than i am, and  hope you all try to enjoy to rest of your pregnancies.

 good luck and much love to you all

weeny67

x x x x x

Gosh girls, this thread completely sums up how I have been feeling!  Had a MMC at 12 weeks ast year (baby died at 9 weeks).  Had to have D&C, and the whole thing (as you all know) was just awful.  Took us 10 months to conceive this little one, and in spite of having great scans at 8, 10 and 12 weeks I still cannot relax or be positive!  I had a MW appointment yesterday, and she found the heartbeat straightaway - said it was very clear and strong.  I felt relieved, but still cant get excited!!  I wonder if I will after the 21 week scan I have on 8th Aug?

I go on the DID threads, but people on there are buying things, decorating nurseries and being so excited and I feel really cheated as I cant do any of this yet.... still feel like I dont want to "get my hopes up".

Although I wouldnt wish these feelings on anyone, its so good to know Im not alone (and not a bad mummy!)

Take care girls

Laura and Peanut 15+2 xx

I cant believe i never found this before!

I have had these feelings all the way through my pregnancy and thought i was on my own. My mum just tells me to stop being so negative and so does my dp but they dont understand. Im soo scared the same thing is going to happen again..i really want my baby..i want him to be ok to be bought into this world. I found out he was a boy at my 12 week scan and the morning of that i was soo sick. It was at my 12 week scan that i found out my twins were dead, they had been dead sice 8 weeks, and i was nearly 13 weeks at my scan. Had to have a d&c in the end because the tablets didnt work for both. I passed one naturally. I had no bleeding and no sickness in the first pregnancy but this one i have had morning sickness up until about 14 weeks! I saw his little heartbeat on the screen got told he was perfect and heard his h/b at midwifes last week all is ok but still cant help worrying! Cant help feeling that he's gonna be taken away from me..i love him so much. Im so glad to finally get this all off my chest i cant talk to nobody else and i still feel like im grieving for the baby i lost even though im pregnant and am loving the baby i got .. im so confused

Anyway im 16+1 now and have my next scan 13th August..im dreading it and cant wait for it at the same time ) xx

I cant believe i never found this before!

I have had these feelings all the way through my pregnancy and thought i was on my own. My mum just tells me to stop being so negative and so does my dp but they dont understand. Im soo scared the same thing is going to happen again..i really want my baby..i want him to be ok to be bought into this world. I found out he was a boy at my 12 week scan and the morning of that i was soo sick. It was at my 12 week scan that i found out my twins were dead, they had been dead sice 8 weeks, and i was nearly 13 weeks at my scan. Had to have a d&c in the end because the tablets didnt work for both. I passed one naturally. I had no bleeding and no sickness in the first pregnancy but this one i have had morning sickness up until about 14 weeks! I saw his little heartbeat on the screen got told he was perfect and heard his h/b at midwifes last week all is ok but still cant help worrying! Cant help feeling that he's gonna be taken away from me..i love him so much. Im so glad to finally get this all off my chest i cant talk to nobody else and i still feel like im grieving for the baby i lost even though im pregnant and am loving the baby i got .. im so confused

Anyway im 16+1 now and have my next scan 13th August..im dreading it and cant wait for it at the same time ) xx

hi.. i had a mmc in november and found out in may that im preg im so scared and cant get these horrible thoughts 2 budge!! i am waiting 4 my 1st scan wich is next week untill i find out everything is ok and see heartbeat i dont think my mind wil be put at ease!! i went 4 my scan when i should have been 11 weeks.. babys heart had stopped at 8 weeks.. i didnt have any bleeding or anythin so was none the wiser!!! i had 2 have medical treatment 2 et baby out as it didnt happen naturally.. it was the worst thing that ever happened 2 me i was onli 16... all the best every1 am sure everythin will go ok 4 use laura, baby james(1) and yellow bump xx

Hi, i jus found this forum and im pleased its here.  Im 11+3 and have had 2 previous miscarriages of which were the worst experieriences of my life.  We all will think negative at points but as has been previously said, jus focus on small goals and we will get there.  Not a day goes by where im not worried over the discomfort i have but ppl say this is due 2 uterus expanding and that its good i have no bleeding.  I just take each day as it comes and focus on the good things - including sickness!!!  Lets support each other and we will get there.  Good luck 2 u all in ur pregnancies xxxx

i just found out i was preg also, 5 wks+2 by my workings out.i has a mmc in jan, the baby i lost was 6 wks developed but didnt find out til 11 wks gone - i waited a few more days after internal where it was confirmed my baby was dead b4 nature took its course and it was agony.im terrified this is going to happen again tho.im glad to know im not on my own tho.emma x

Hi, I agree that this must be totally normal.  This is exactly how I feel most of the time.  Am 19+5 and have had a good 13wk scan and have 21 weeks booked for 30th June.  But just find it difficult to get excited and worry over everything.  Just as already said though i guess that when you want something this much it's all the more terrible and that they are part of you.  I am hoping that I will feel better after the scan.  I ad a niggling feeling with the past pg that something was not right, this time it doesn't feel like that, just no symptoms and little feeling leave me with no evidence that I am pg other than growing tummy and scan picture.  Big finders crossed and hugs to us all then we WIILL be fine this time...

Hello, your thoughts are completely normal for what you have been through. I understand how hard it is to go on the dd boards and trying to stay positive. I went through a mc as well and struggle at times to remain positive. It does get better the farther along we get but I stress myself out at times thinking negatively.

I'm now 17+1 weeks and can't believe it! I know this will sound dumb, but I have microsoft outlook and have marked each weekly milestone. I can look at it and see how far along I am and how much further to get to my next big goals. Sounds silly, but helps me keep things going. I also write notes on when to schedule my next apt and anything planned to keep me going. It has helped so much.

Come here anytime you need to chat hun. I just found this forum myself and I wish I had found it sooner.

hi there i just wanted to come on and say good luck with everything i have had a mc too at 14 and a half weeks i am now 26 weeks preg and i still cant stop fretting but you have to hope for the best hope to hear from you soon xxxxxxx

Hi Jenny, thankyou for being so understanding.And im so sorry to hear of your losses.    i know there are ladies out there, including yourself who know exactly how i feel and have been through the same as i have.  At the time its happens you just think how could it have happened to me, its something that happens to other people.  but if it does you will never forget it.   i know i wont. 

I dont yet have a dating scan booked im hoping to hear from the hospital soon for this, and i can tell you I shall be a nervous wreck again.  Im going to  take your advice and aim for the small goals, of next scan, seeing mw, 20wk scan etc.    I think when i think about things long term it feels so overwhelming to me, almost suffocating,  like im never going to get there.   I just wish i could relax a little and enjoy, what is potentially going to be my last pregnancy, (i already have a son and only want two children), im never going to experience this again.

There are a couple of ladies who have posted on DIJ about mc , and like i metioned earlier i dont want to put such a negative post in what is quite a happy thread.  iyswim.  I think i may start and reply to other similar threads should they arise on the DI boards, and take it from there.   I think thats probably the best for me at the moment.

On a more positive note, Im really happy for you and that your pregnancy is progressing well.  I really hope that you can finally relax a little, and enjoy the last ten weeks. Let me know how you get on and i will do the same.  

Once again, thankyou so much for your kind words,  it really helps to express your feelings on here.

take care

lorrina

x x

hey just want to say your thread made me cry because you so accurately decribe how i felt in my pregnancy this time. despite the odds (2mcs and an ectopic in 2007) i have got to nearly 30 weeks.

its not an easy time, and i cant say anything that will help, other than you are absolutely not alone, which i guess is why we have this particular forum, and it is a scary time, not least cos of the fear of it happening again and almost a sense of waiting for the inevitable (which it isnt, and i just want to say the fact you have seen a good hb on a scan is a real positive xxxx) but also because there is this terrifying spark of hope - you are one step nearer what you want most of all and yet that means it could happen again, and you want to have some kind of self preservation to stop you feeling even a fraction of the pain you have been through previously. or something like that - that is how i felt anyway xx

hopefully you have a dating scan soon? this is a good goal to aim for, it may seem an eternity away but it is good to have something every three to four weeks to go for, so dating scan can be one, booking in appt with mw another, hearing heartbeat another, 20w scan next.

i did find time moved a little quicker after i got to my 20w scan, half weeks started going by rather than days. at this stage i just blessed each day i had some queasiness or no bleeding/ pain.

maybe it would help to put a thead up on your due in forum and ask if there is anyone else expecting after a loss? you could suggest starting your own buddy thread on here, so you can keep supporting eACH other thru this time - we have done this on the dec bfps thread, and if you look at the first posts on there, we were all about 5 weeks pregnant and terrified, it has been really helpful to get that support, because you do feel like not everyone wants to know on the due in forums, but i bet there are at least a handful of others waiting for a thread like that to respond to.

take care and let us know how you get on and what is happening - sorry i have waffled -had a whole day without hardly any adult conversation!!!

jenny

x

Well i am 9 weeks tomorrow and i just can seem to get excited at all .   After mmc in feb, i just knew something wasnt quite right after doing numerous hpts and found out at first scan.  my body didnt do its job properly and needed medical management for it.  Didnt have any pregnancy symptoms whatsoever in that pregnancy and to be honest dont have much in this one either, apart from a little queasyness in the afternoon.

as much as i tell myself this is a totally different pregnancy and situation (i concieved whilst on the pill with the mmc), i cant help feeling its going to happen again.  Already had a scan at 7+4 and saw little one and heartbeat which put my mind at rest alot, but now those awful thoughts are back and cant shake them off, knowing it could happen at any time again, even more so not knowing its happened as i had no bleeding or anything. 

Sorry to be sounding so negative i didnt want to post this in the DIJan board and put a dampner on everyones excitement.   Im sure all you lovely ladies on in this thread know exactly where im  coming from. its so so hard. 

As much as ive tried to put it all to the back of my mind and get excited about things, i just cant.  Will it ever get better? 

Ive tried thinking of baby names to try and get me in the mood, but all i can think  of was the names id thought off with the baby which i lost.  god i sound so silly.  daft because i still like those names but would never use them for this one. 

I just hate feeling this way. So desperate to start and post in the DI boards but feel if i do it will all go wrong.

Sorry for the moaning.   just need to get this out.

I hope you ladies are feeling better about things than me.  Wish you all the best with your pregnancies.