Thank you so much.  I have just read your other thread about the dates clashing.  I feel like that already, what if i get pg and then my due date is close to the date we lost seth or his birthday.  I am so happy for you, congratulations on your new dd.  i hope everything goes to plan and you do get your induction.  i am sure your boys will make sure everything goes the way you want it.

take care. XXX

In Sept 07 I gave birth to twin boys who passed after 7 hours, honestly i never thought id get through it but we knew we wanted more children and although i dreaded getting pregnant when i did it hasnt been nearly as hard as i imagined. We already had DD1 who was 2 16th Aug and im am currently 38+3 and due 1st Sept with our 2nd DD.

You know your body better then anyone but for me it wasnt that we just woke up one morning and thought the times right, we discussed it all the time so we were both open and honest about how we felt.

It will never go away but it does get easier and dont worry about what people think, youre not replacing your son. You will never forget him but you cant put your life on hold despite the heartache youve been though, your son wouldnt want that for you.

Take it easy hun.

xxxxxx

Hi Karen I am so pleased you joined up to td hunni, and have replied to your post about your precious Seth. On td there is also a moving forward bit, and I hope to see you about td very soon hunni. xxxxxxxxx

THANK YOU SO MUCH.  I REMEMBER READING YOUR POSTS ON BABY LOSS WHEN I WAS PG WITH SETH AND WONDERING HOW PEOPLE EVER GET THROUGH LOOSING A BABY.  I HAVE FOUND OUT THAT YOU HAVE NO CHOICE.

Sorry for caps!!!

Have registered with teardrop.  Thank you. XXX

That should of said the first of november 2006. xxxxxx

Hi Karen I lost my dd Inghean to sids on the 1st of november, and yearned for another baby almost imediatley. Well I ended up having mSayomi on the 22nd March 2008, so there would of been approx 19 months between my girls. I think it is only natural to want for another baby once you have lost one. I wish you all the luck and love in the world.

Also if you have chance come and have a look here, everybody helped me out during pg, and always do even over silly wee things. xxxxxxxx

http://www.teardropsupport.org/

Thank you.  Please send my love to your friend.  No mummy should have to go through what we have.

I think that is the one thing people don'y understand.  Having another baby will never be easy, missing seth will never be less if we waited 2, 5 or 10 yrs to have another child.  If we could have Seth back we would, but unfortunately  that will never happen so I have to just live my life as best as possible without him.  We were always going to have another child after seth so the maternal feeling has just come back a little earlier.

Thank you again.  Karen. XXX

My best friend lost her little girl in 2002. She found out when she was pg that she had a number of problems (hydrocephalus, schizenencephaly) & was told she wouldn't survive.... She went ahead with the rest of the pg & Marni was born, poorly, but alive..... She lived for 2 years & three months.... She was generally well for the most part.... She just had alot of meds she needed.....

Unfortunately, it took my friend almost 5 years to fall pg again.... She had her little girl in dec last year & she's due baby number 2 this dec!! She was also worried about having another baby, how she would feel.... But in some ways it has helped the grieving process.... We still ALWAYS talk about Marni as though she were still here... I went round  on thursday & her little girl has the same hair colour as Marni. We were saying how funny it was & how we hoped she gets Marni's long lovely hair.....

I hope this has helped.... Even if just to know you are not on your own. Take Care. xxxx

Hi ladies.  well we are 6 weeks down the line and the want for another baby is so strong.  Ben is just as keen but something really stops me from 'trying' properly.  I miss seth so much.  He is on my mind all the time and the last few days have been really tough.  I have missed him playing out in the garden with his big brother and miss his soft skin on mine when we would cuddle up in bed at night together.  We will always have a huge void in our lives and continually wonder what he would have been like but bailey is craving a playmate and we are craving to nurture a young baby again. 

I am soooo scared that people will think I dont love Seth and that I am obviously over him.  All those things that I will never be but people really dont have a clue how I am feeling.

Thanks for listening to my worries.  You all help me so much.  This is such an awful situation that i would not wish upon my worst enemy but people's support does really help and its nice to know I am not alone.

i lost my 1st baby a little girl called Summer when she was just 3 days old in August 2006. i hav e always wanted a large family so knew we would try again.  Things were made harder for us as we could not find a cause of death for our beautiful daughter.

We are now truly blessed  to have a daughter Isabella who is 8 weeks old today.  Iwouldn.t say there was a time when we suddenly thought it was the right time to try again it was more a case of when we built up courage to do so.

I always thought that the pregnancy would be really hard to go through especially as they thought that something may of happened to Summer during pregnancy or labour that caused her death, but it was suprisingly good.  i actually enjoyed it most of the time and i bonded really well with her before she was born as we found out the sex and this was great.

The one thing i didn't really think of until we had a 3d scan is that she would look like her sister and when she was born she was the spitting image.  This can be hard to deal with but also nice you can see your child living on in their sibling.

You will never forget Seth like we will never forget Summer and the love for your nrxt child will take nothing away from Seth as your love will be multiplyed not divided.

I hope this helps

Lisa xx

hi Karen please please dont ever feel you need to apologise. i have followed Seth's story right  up to the end and beyond i honestly am so proud of you for having the strength to go on and your want to have another baby somewhere down the line makes me so in awe of you. sorry if awe is the wrong word.

its early days and i know i havent experienced your sort of loss but i firmly believe that you will know when the time is right a lot of women do go on after a loss to have other children i am sure Seth would not want you to put what plans you had on hold or stop them altogether and i am sure he would love to watch over Bailey and any other siblings playing together.

my mum lost my sister at the same stage you lost Seth and my brother was born just over 12 months later and me 5 years after that and my sister 5 years after that.  she loved us all to bits and was brilliant i know at times she was very sad it was only in my older years i understood why and from a sibling point of view my sister lives on in all of us. sadly mum is no longer with us but i do and will always tend to my sisters grave for her i would always make sure it is tended on birthdays and mothers day especially when mum was here anyway.

my mum always liked the fact that Sara's memory was being kept alive by me, my brother and sister and now i pass on her memory to my children as they love to come and tend to her grave and bring her flowers and i am sure her memory will live on with them too. my youngest daughter i have been told is the spitting image of my sister down to her cheeky smile and its strange but having her has really opened him up about my sister and he talks so much about what wonderful things she did and he is very close to my daughter they have their own special bond.

i wish you luck in whatever you decide to do i am sure it will be an emotional rollercoaster when you decide to ttc and fall pg but as they say you have to hit rock bottom before things can get better and i am sure with Seth's loss you could not have hit a worse point the future can only hold good things for you.

all my love

mara x

hi karen,

please dont ever apologise or feel you have offended anyone, that is what this forum is for hon xxxx

i havent ever experience loss of a child myself tho one my best friends lost her son suddenly in his sleep when he was three, that was three years ago now. i cant imagine you will everfeel whole again, nor can you be, however trying for another child is in no way or will ever be seen as though you are trying to replace your beautiful, irreplaceable seth.

i wish you all the best of luck, and hope you can find some way forward. my friend set up a charitable trust in her sons name, and we now work to raise money for families who have lost children in the local area, to provide one off costs for things like headstones. she has since had another child - joseph was her eldest and she had a second child, and now has a third. life goes on i guess for her children, for a future and for keping her little boy's name, and most importantly, memory alive.

she has always said she doesnt want him to be forgotten, which frankly is impossible, but talking abou him and seeing him matters.

i could go on but i am waffling and probably no use or help to you at all.

i also wanted to mention www.childbereavement.org.uk

i believe they have forums and helplines and you may get some support on there, as well as bounty xxxxx

take care of your self,

jenny

xxx

edit post

i hope this hasn't offended anyone, i truely didn't mean to if i have.  i am from pdis07 and lost my beautiful baby boy seth on 16th june 2008 aged just 9 mths after 6 mths of being poorly.  when he was born we had no idea what we were all in for.  seth had arx, an x linked genetic brain condition.  we already have a 3 yr old bailey who is healthy.

we were always going to have another child once seth turned two so our desire to have another child has always been there.  at the moment everything is so raw and sad in our lives but one day we would like to try for another baby.   i have no experience of baby loss or know nobody that has either.

when did you feel ready for another baby?  did you feel guilty?  how did you over come that?  also i am so scared that i miss seth so much that it is the want for him i will desire more than another baby.  how do you decide if you are ready for another baby or you are just missing the one you have lost?

sorry to have gone on and again i hope i haven't offended anyone.  karen. xxx