i know exactly how u feel my partners 2 kids r so rude and disrespectful. even 2 our son who is their half brother and wen i tell them off all i get is '' u always tell us off, ur not our mum'' wen in fact if all 3 of them r bein naughty i tell all 3 of them off i dont treat our son any different as he has 2 abide by the same rules as they do nothin changes 4 them anymore it used 2 wen i 1st got wid my partner but since we had our son they have 2 abide by the same rules.

i know wot u mean they think that 1 day i will leave their dad and that he and their mum will get bk 2gether but it aint gonna happen at 1st i thought it would b easier if he did go bk wid their mum but then i realised that i should not sacrafice my life and happiness 4 them.

their mum is a pain i know she tells them 2 say and do stuff and thats what winds me up the most, shes had a kid by someone else and she still thinks that we will look after that kid as well as my partners 2 wen we said no all hell broke lose but the kid has nothin 2 do wid my partner so why should he look after the kid.

i know its not the kids fault but the oldest is 11 u would think that after 5 yrs of me bein wid their dad that they would learn that wen they stay wid us they abide by our rules- well my rules my partner only gets involved wen i have a go at him 4 not helpin typical man.

so hey ur not alone xx

Oh thank god somewhere to finally rant my feelings. My dh's ex is the biggest pain in the arse ever. Their son is 11 and he is so rude and disrespectful to me most of the time but yet my dh seems to pin most of the blame on me when actually its his mother sticking the boot in at every opportunity.  Iv been with my dh since Damien (stepson) was 7 but the kid still winges that he doesnt like the situation and im sure he thinks that one day i will just disappear. He has seen councillors, goes to a special divorced childrens club... the list is endless. I have divorced parents and dont remember it ever being this hard. My dh and his ex dont have seperated parent so they cant really understand like i do but even i think it has all been dragged out way too long.. arrrrggghhh its so hard xxx

thanx 4 the last post glad im not the only 1 dealing wid a pain in the arse ex. im tryin my best not 2 let her wind me up but sometimes she has this nack of doin it widout doin or sayin much.

she texted my partner the other day askin 4 him 2 call her so he did but she neva answers the phone then she accuses him of not tryin 2 phone probably just as well we live so far apart or id b round her house tellin her wot 4.

i love his 2 kids i really do but i cant abide kids wid no manners or respect they dont have any, they want 2 come and stay wid us 2 c their dad not even 2 c their half brother but as soon as they get here and get a treat they want 2 go bk 2 mummys cause they got wot they wanted.

this whole dna thin dont help either as i said i have discussed it wid my partner and its his choice if he wants a dna  and im not gonna try and make him get 1 done as its nothin 2 do wid me but the doubt there is so strong. i admire him totally 4 knowin he might not b the dad but still bringin the kid up as his own.

Oh yeah and my DHs ex also used to moan on and on about having no money but she soon shut up about that when my DH told her that she didn't have to go and have another 2 kids with someone else as that is the reason she has no money. Just tell her to shut up!

God she really is a nightmare. You need to agree a monthly amount that you will pay her and stick to it, my DHs ex used to demand money here there and everywhere and it did our head in as everytime he went round there she would be like can you buy this, can you buy that so we put the maintenance up and pay on the same day each month and that is all she gets, if we want to spend extra money on the kids then we do but we don't let her dictate to us anymore and she has got the message now. You just have to say no sorry we can't afford it. Put your foot down hun, If your partner won't do it then please take control and do it yourself, you have every right to as her behaviour is disgusting and you should not have to put up with it. Be firm with your DH, yes he may want an easy life but so do you and you deserve that as much as he does so it's time to speak up and make yourself heard. It's not all about him, his ex and their kids - you and your son have rights too.

I tell you what if my DH's ex had called on my due date telling my husband to go pick her kids up I would have told her where to go. And when she rings you up mouthing off cause you have disciplined her kids just simply tell her that in your house there are rules that everyone has to abide by, not just her kids, you're not picking on them but when children are rude they need to be told off, otherwise how will they learn to be decent human beings. Just say it calmly and say the same rules apply to your son and if she doesn't like it that's tough, your house your rules! Then if she carries on just tell her you're going to go now and hang up. You don't have to put up with this.

You also have to try and not get too annoyed with the way she brings them up as you can't control that, my DH's ex is an appalling mother, I can't believe the things she does or should I say doesn't do with her kids but I can't change that, all I can do is control my own behaviour and how I bring my own son up, that's my look out. Just forget her hun, she is so unimportant, do not place so much importance on her or her actions as you are allowing her to ruin your life, when something annoys you - just let it go - once you;ve had your say if that's what you want to do. Just say to yourself - I am not going to waste my life worrying about her. Try it xx

ello wen me and my partner 1st got 2gether me and his ex got on ok well we were civil 2 each other, but since i had our son 4 yr ago shes been a complete pain in the arse.

i wouldnt mind but the 2 kids have no manners she wont discipline them at all the oldest whos 11 got caught smoking and all she did was shrug her shoulders, the youngest went 4 a nice walk around their village on her own shes 9 and again she did nothin. she dont cook 4 them she takes them 2 her mums if they want a hot meal.

it drives me insane its got so bad that wen they come and stay wid us all i do is shout at them cause they r so badly behaved, then wen they go home she gets straight on the phone sayin that ive done this and ive done that.

thins r so bad that i have agreed not 2 c them until they learn some respect and manners as their behaviour was affectin our sons behaviour and i will not let that happen.

but 2 cap thins off my partners family dont think the oldest child is his and 2 b honest i dont think the child is either. we have talked bout the possibility and he accepts that he might not b the dad but he wont do a dna test and im not pushin him 2 do so.

my dps ex is the same and at the mo is being a right pain in my arse!!! generally we all get on ok, dp has 2 boys with her and i have a ds who is not his. but we are moving in together next week and think this is starting to annoy her as the kids are really excitied about it and its all they talk about, i know because she txts me sating so lol.

its my dps youngest birthday party sunday and he will be paying for everything, even thou she said she wants to do the food and balloons etc but she doesnt drive or have any money so how is she going to afford it????? oh my dp who is so under the thumb with her lol

i do understand he just wants to peaceful life as we dont go throu csa but its taken me 2 yars to finally get all the money he gives her writtern down and but in a receip book and get her to sign it!!!!

she is defo alot better since i started voicing my opinions thou......

but she is the same as yours always sends them with dirty clothes no underwear etc the boys are the best kids in the world and they desevere alot better thn what she does.......

ello guys thanx 4 the advice. ive tried so hard the past 5 yrs 2 hold my mouth but i dont know how much longer i can. she says shes not goin bk 2 work cause she had another child which is her decision but she then moans cause she has no money yet we pay 4 the 2 kids and she has a brand new family trampoline in her garden which i know costs around £300 she has a flat screen tv in her front room i mean my partner and i both work and we barely earn enough 2 break even.

his brother tells us he sees her out in town most weekends so she does have money she even brought the 2 kids a mobile each. she now wants another £60 for ''a school trip'' which im sorry 2 say i really dont want 2 send cause i know she'll spend it on herself or her other child.

why r ex's intent on makin our lives a missery? the day i was due wid our son she phones up in a blind panic sayin that my partner must come all the way down and pick the kids up as somethin has come up, so we rush 150 miles 2 get them only for her 2 act like nothin had happened and as we were leavin wid the kids she said 2 me that she would talk 2 me properly. omg she does my head in. she did call him up wen i was 6 months pregnant wid our son begging him 2 take her bk.

the thins she does dont bother my partner as he lets it go ova his head but i cant let them go. i dont mind buyin toothbrushes etc but a whole new wardrobe. sometimes i think 2 myself if some1 had warned me how hard it is bein a stepmum and havin 2 deal wid an ex then i would of neva got wid my partner harsh yes but i cant help the way i feel.

sorry meant to say dont WAIT for your dh to call her - not dont want lol!

i can sympathise totally, my dh's ex is a total b*** and i stay out of it where i can but when it involves me and my son i am straight onto her and she knows i will get myself involved if it affects me or my son, make yourseld heard, when it's to do with your own you are completely within your rights, i bet she will soon stop if you get in her face. as for trying to get your dh to have a go i think you are fighting a losing battle with that one as i have been trying for 12 years, they never will cause at the end of the day they want to keep the peace and that is the mother of their kids too. also i don't think it's too unreasonable for you to buy the essential for the girls when they come to stay like toothbrush and hairbrush etc, dh's ex is the same, never sends them with a toothbrush or brush, i would never do that with my kids though, they have all that at home so seems silly to buy more but i just did it anyway as didn't want the kids to go without, even if their own mother doesn't care about them. re the clothes i would definitely get on the blower and tell her that she needs to send them with adequate amount of clothes, don't want for dh to do it - do it yourself. the more you get in her face the more she will behave as it's not worth the hassle.

You are not alone, my DH's ex drives me mad as well. She is constantly asking for more money and pleading poverty despite the amount we pay etc etc.

I don't think there is anything you can do about it, just be there as best you can for the kids etc and in their own time they will realise what the truth is and who the person is playing games.

hi i dont really have any advice but wanted to say your not the only one like this.

ive been with my partner 5 years and i already have a ds and dd (not his) and we have ds 7 months old .

his ex hates me for some reason who he has a ds comin up 8, we pay thro the nose csa and she still tells everyone she is hard up including his son tho we have showed him the letters saying we pay money lol i wouldnt mind but she isnt hard up as her yearly wage is more than we get together!

we have no direct contact with her now as she changed numbers and moved a couple of streats etc.

she has gone out of her way to cause as much grief as possible, like when he first moved in she would ask him to go over for a chat about his son which was always about what went wrong with them etc, she would text and say how much she loved and missed him!

it wasnt till i text her and told her to get off that she stopped then changed numbers lol

at xmas she will send his xmas presents back or break then eg nintendo ds! playstation 2 no0t cheap stuff.

but i believe in karma as a year ago the witch was in bad car smash and now walks with a limp lol tho she is such a liar she told her son and everyone she had brake her back! she was out of hospital on xmas eve 3 weeks later! she likes yto make his family feel sorry for her. and tries her best to make me look like the bad one.

sorry i am ranting again but i could go on forever lol

xx

ello ive been wid my partner for 5 yrs now he has 2 daughters aged 11 and 9 wid his ex. we have a 4 yr old son and im epexctin our daughter in 2 wks. he doesnt get 2 c his kids much as they live 150 miles away and we both work so gettin time off 2 travel down is a nightmare. he phones them every week and we always send them their bday and xmas pressies even easter eggs and stuff we find for them up where we live but its neva enough 4 her. she moans cause she had another child by someone else that she needs a break from the kids and that he dont do enough 2 help her.

my partners brother lives in the same town as her and she saw him the other day and had a good old moan about how my partner is useless and dont care bout his kids which is rubbish. she then said that once we have our daughter then he wont c his kids 4 ages. she is drivin me mad she is so ungreatfull. shes neva gonna win mother of the year not that i will either but she aint got a clue.

she sends them up 2 ours for a weeks stay wid 2 changes of underwear no hairbrush,toothbrush no jacket expectin us 2 buy them new for the kids dont get me wrong i dont mind buyin them a few new clothes but not a whole new wardrobe. she told my partner that the oldest wanted 2 go on a schoolt trip could he send £50 down so he did and she spent on the baby who has nothin 2 do wid my partner.

maybe im over reactin but shes doin my brain in i wouldnt mind but his 2 kids rnt exactly the most well behaved and mannered kids goin i just dont know wot 2 do wid out causing a massive argument. my partner just lets it go ova his head but i cant wen she has a go at me or our son.