hi i sort of know what you mean when i got with my dh he already had a dd.  when i got pg i had to put up with "we did this" n "we did that" and one time he really upset me i ended up telling him to shut up (was quite homonal at the time) he was really sorry for upsetting me and said he didn't even realise he was doing it! i suppose its not un-natural to be so proud of your 1st you want to talk about them all the time!

however, i would never ever have hand me downs that my dh and his ex chose i think that we are quite capable of choosing our own style!!! and since we could afford new we did! good luck x

yeah lol that made alot of sense, i mean i get on well with his ex and his daughter and i really wnat her involved, last tiem i showed her a scan she said it was a panda!! bless her! but he can't seem to see she needs to spend alot of time with us and her new baby brother or sister to feel like she fits in. i work in a resturant and him and his daughter were in having something to eat and i was talking to some kids and she wouldn't talk to me afterwards because i was talking to them!!! o jealousy will be an issue!! im still not keen on using his daughters clothes and old bits and bobs and i can't see how his ex would be either, even though shes ok with me being pg. will haev to say something to him soon i guess else im gonna end up resenting him ALOT. lol.

thanks for the help though is nice to know someone is in the same kinda situation!!

xxx

Hiya right im probably going to make NO sense what so ever at all but here goes....

I can understand how your feeling but if you think about when your LO gets to say 2 years old and you have to start disipline I think you will have to make sure that your LO and his DD are managed in the same way otherwise each child is going to become confused.

I think its a good idea to want to involve his DD as she will feel more involved in the family then, also your DP needs to make sure his DD doesnt feel pushed out when LO arrives as she could end up resenting the baby for it.

Let her feel the bump when the baby kicks, see scans, think of names, colour schemes etc.

My DP and I are TTC at the moment....my DD is from a previous relationship but I have already spoken to him about things I have mentioned above and he found it hard to understand bits but he has said it makes sense....I have also already started trying to get DD involved in things even though I am not currently preg.

As for the clothing issue it may not be a bad thing to accept the other clothes as babies grow a lot and go through so many clothes but also buy some new clothes also. I can see why you think it will just reming you of his ex though.

Hope you get it sorted though babes xxx

hiya,

am expecting my first in october and boyfriend already has a three year old with his ex. I'm starting to get really fed up with bf trying to force his daughters old clothes and stuff on this baby as as much as i love his daughter i see her as something between him and his ex so her old stuff will always remind him of his ex. and everytime we talk about the baby i will air my opinion on how i would like to bring the baby up and he will say "well we didn't do that with our daughter" or "well she didn't do that" and i respect his ex and their daughter but this baby isn't his ex's nd im not his ex, i've now took to going quiet when any of the above is mentioned. Also i ahve said i would like him to see his daughter more than what he does (currently overnight one night a week, a couple of hours a week nd his parents have her on a sunday) and that i want her involved with the baby as she gets jealous and i dont want her feeling left out, but when i say this he says she wont be allowed to come see her new little brother or sister in hospital and that she'll pass on germs to the new baby, where as i can only see that being a problem if the baby is in special care.

any one else going through/been through any of this and has any advice as to what to do?

thanks

Kiz and Bump.

xxxxx