hi im not in ur situation but have had probs in the past with dp's ex laying down the law. well im afraid the only answer if no one is listening to u is to put ur foot down heavy! u r the one with a newborn, im sure ur dp's ex didnt have all this hassle when she had the kids, and would she have put up with it?? i think not so stand up 4 ur self hun, ur bubs only 5wk and needs u on track, tell ur dp exactly how u feel, his kids will just have to take a bit of a backseat so to speak for a little while. dont let them push u about hun theres nothing wrong in saying no. hope u can work things out xxxxx

my sd was 6 when we had our lo and sd went into baby mode demanding attention causeing extra tension as our baby had collic an reflux it was a nightmare but we did get through it !! but it was very very hard ~ i had to say no to having sd for a few months on my own as i just couldnt handle it then once i was feeling better to cope then i started to have her over more again and tbh i think we all feel used at one point of another !!

we now have a new problem of sd not taking punishment from me when shes in my care on her own i have to call her dad to back up what im saying to her its soo frustrating to know that our step children do love us but are put under soo much pressure ! that they act out as they cant cope with there emotions !!

i have  my hubby kids full time two girls ages 5 and 10 and a boy 7 and my own son 9 weeks they girl get to see there mum onces every two wek for 2 hours with a socal worker there with her full time and only payes 20 a month for all thr kids so did not look after them and thanks to have the 10 year old has loads of learning problems

hi, i dont know if you are still about but i just thought i would let you know your not on your own.

I got with my partner 3 years ago, he is 41 and i am 24. he has 3 children from his marraige aged 7, 16 and 17 (all girls)

him and his ex get on for the kids but i dont get on with her, becuase she uses me basically.

we have the girls 1 night maybe 2 if DP doesnt tell me about it at a weekend, i was their clothes, we feed them etc, but i am always the one clearing up after them. they go home and tell their mum lies about me so that she rings my DP up and causes an argument.

I have said i am not going to do anything for the girls anymore until they respect what i do for them. i.e the other week it took me 90 mins to get a comb through one of their hairs becuase it was matted. then she went home and told her mum that i dont let her do this that and the other, so i want them to respect me.

me and DP are TTC using a sperm donor as DP has had a vasectomy and can not have it reversed. He is going to bring up the baby as his own.

However he is constantly worried that i am going to push his girls out once a baby comes along.

Although i love my DP to bits, i wish i didnt go with him 3 years agon when i knew he had children and was married at the time

i have a 8yr old step son and we dnt have the same prob as u as his mum dnt work anymore and my ffella works till late every nite so we dnt have him in week just weekends. we used to have him 3times a week wen fella worked shifts and it is really hard. i was 21 wen i got with my fella, i had a 20month old and his lo was 6. now my lo is 4 and his is nearly 9 is it very tough. its hard to bond with him as he just dnt talk to me, and well he dnt play with anything wen hes here. im pregnant at the mo and due on sun and i worry he wnt want to come as much wen we have this lo.

i try my best always plan things to do, take hime out etc but like u its tough.

id have a word with ur fella and try and make sure u get a nite to urself maybe onece a month or fnite. then u'll get a break to and feel better equipped to cope. and if they are living with u half the time i dnt think u have to pay her as much in terms of maintance as they are eating etc with u.hope that helps

Thank u for ur reply its nice to know that im not the only 1 who does wat i do. My parents have been great and have the kids alot of the time to give us a break and we have fun it was like it was b4. i just need to pluck up the courage and be truthful with him. Thanku

I havent really got any advice but i just wanted you to know that your not alone.

Im 21 and my dp is 36 he has 3 children from a previous relationship, Jamie 18 chloe 14 and jack 12.

Me and my partner have a 11 month old daughter and Jack lives with us.

His mum barely sees him and pays no money for his up keep or anything. I do everything for him just like you, cook clean wash his clothes make sure everything is done for him. its even worse now as my dp is working away.

I would suggest that you have a word with bf and try and sort out some time where you can have sometime away from you lo and your step kids.

Hope things get better for you.

Just need a bit of a rant really.

I have been with my bf for 3 yrs now and we have a 5 week old baby girl. he has 2 children from a previous marriage. Everything was fine i looked after them most of the time as if they were my own i do everything for them get them ready for school take them pick them up cook there tea everything a mother does for there child i do it all. Everyone thinks they are mine as they never see the children with there mum she works most of the time. My boyfriend and his ex share 50/50 custody of the children it was set up while i was with him i supported him 100%.

it was all fine to start with but while i was pregnant i started to feel different towards the situation i feel a bit used some times. My boyfriend works full time and earns all the money. His ex works and other people look after the children untill she finishes work on her days. she gets all the money for the children child tax credit and everything untill recently we were told we can claim for 1 but it has taken 6 months to sort something and now they have cancelled our claim and we have to re-apply.

I feel as if they had the children and (sorry to put it this way as i love them both to bits) i have to deal with the consequences of there relationship breakdown. (sorry im not good with words). b4 my bf i used 2 go out alot now im stuck at home there mother is out non stop when the children r with us and my bf does his hobbys which he can do at home but his ex used to stop him doing. i feel as if my life has stopped and theres has now began.I dont wanna loose my bf but since our lo came along its got even harder i feel more stretched i am 5 yrs younger than my bf and have never really looked after children b4 his.his ex has always expected me to look after them e.g they go to a school club there mum works at the times and my bf works and unable to get time of as its a new job and his ex expects me to take them as if i dont do enough.i dont have no patience anymore its really making me feel down and im trying my best to keep my head high and not get pnd.

I dont know how to talk to my bf does anyone have any idea wat i can do.

Thankyou