omfg thats a disgrace, I would go around there and beat t5he living daylights out of her the bastid. As for social services they are really hopeless we dealt with them over step son and he clearly needs help which they agreed, aparently his mum hasnt heard anything from them about cahms etc they make me so angry. try child protection, you did right stopping contact, i would never let dsd back there. no doubt courts will allow her acess god knows why in that case it needs to be supervised. as for family not saying anything I would of knocked her to pices if i ever saw that so they are just as bad. big hugs to you and your step daughter xxxx

hi hun yeah you are exactly right and just explained our situation down to a t.  caffcass have been involved with her for ages and when told about these incidents thay just say, well weve got an appointment booked for next  week so wel just see you then, and altho we have them on our side period , they still need a massive kick up the arse.

im in too minds to go round and pull her teeth out, and then guess what id be in the cell within half an hr,  its so so wrong.

Hi, am really sorry to hear what you are going through, at least your dss has got your support. Was a Cafcass Report ordered when you went for Custody? m The trouble with these damn Social Workers (not all though, some are really good but rare to find) is that they have to make an appointment to go see the wrong-doers thus giving them the chance to clean up their act temporarily which sucks.  Too many children are slipping the net because of bl**dy red tape.  I work in a matrimonial solicitors and we deal with a lot of cases where children are being harmed by the other parent yet the other parent seems to be able to get away with it. we deal with mothers of children whose fathers are obviously abusing them yet the Judges still order Contact when the child is obviously afraid so the mother stops contact (or the father dependent on the case) and then they fall foul of the COurt for protecting their children, something which our justice system  should never have allowed to happen in the first place.

Sorry if rambled, i blame it on my pregnancy brain forgetting how to get things out in the right context and it also i feel strongly about. 

I really hope you manage to sort things out.  Good Luck

well, trouble again. dss came back from mums on her birthday, distraught.  one of the family had deliberatly pushed her to the floor and hit her head on the floor, also got told to stand out of the family pictures, i meam wtf? this hasnt been the first time, whilst at a party, mum was drunk, pushed her off trampoline and smacked her in the face,whilst no other adults said anything, and she diddnt tell us until a few months ago, mum also pushed her off the bed and pushed her into the wardrobes 5 weeks ago.  so we thought enoughs enough, we called police, and told them, they were supposed to get back to us. social services went with her for a med examination, but as she wasnt marked they wernt interested. i mean what the hell does it take eh for kids to be heard?  no wonder these kids are found dead, and were were the social services eh? not bloody arsed as usual. the worker that came out had just fell out of uni and had to keep going back to check in thr text book, typical.  i see well altho they mite not see these incidents as serious, the next time it mite be worse  and were were they. they make me sick.

so me and dp have stopped all contact now for her safty while it goes back to court and costs another 1000 which is bloody wrong as were only protecting the kid. and that b*** keeps ringing up here like nothings happened, its as if shes lost the plot and were all going mad.  so dp has to get it back in court by tue or she can take it back as contacts broken and its an order. meanwhile she is throwing up in the night with worry and is a nervous wreck.

so basicly people, social services say its ok to beat up your kids, aslong as you dont mark them.  this is why so many slip the net and end up starving to death aswel.   grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

that is fantastic, firstly i realy hope the oldest has their wishes met, and for the last post i cant believe judge said that, i mean what is the point in a court order and their time in court if it can be broken.  if a court order is broken, then its a police matter, alot of police officers just say ring a solicitor, but do not accept that ask to speak to a sergeant. afterall a court order is serious stuff,  something the ex thought was just a joke .

another thing, if a child says they want to live with you and they are absolutley adamant, then aslong as the father has pr  then you are within your rights as a parent to keep hold of the child. we had it al the time with ex, saying, if you take her on holiday il ring police and say you have kidnapped her, bla bla bla,   but... like i said before,  keep the child, ring police for advice and explain situation and police will prob say , aslong as they are safe, they might even visit, they did with us and check we are ok ect. as shed obviously rang and said wed kept her but they are only interested if the child is ok, thats if they dont just say ring a solicitor we dont involved with family issues. so nine times out of ten, you are already involved with a solicitor, caffcass ect, so just advise them asap of the situation and you hopefully should be able to get it infront of a judge asap to decide residency for the interim, until caffcass do reports ect ect then it will go to a final hearing.

so sorry for rambling but thats what happened with us but dont be afraid of standing up to these women.

Flowers2boss - we are in Ellesmere Port - hence, Chester Courts - so, not far away, hello neighbour!!!

Ours is a really long story so I wont go there - just a bloody-minded vicious ex!!! We havent seen the kids since July last year so they havent even met their half-bro who is now 8.5 months old. Court Order states alternate weekends and half school holidays.  Last time we were in court, DH came out absolutely gob-smacked. Cafcass came over to talk to us - and DH made her reiterate what the judge had said. They questioned how many times we had taken it back to court for non-compliance and then said it just isnt worth taking it back again!!!!!!! If Mother doesnt want to comply, then they cant make her!!!!!!!

DH and I are members of Families Need Fathers - the advice and confidence that you get from the meetings are invaluable. It puts you on a footing where you instruct the solicitors what to do and what they should be doing, not the other way round!! (BTW this is not to be confused with the demo-group!!)

www.fnf.org.uk

Anyway, I've rambled enough and still want to offer my congrats to you

Take care and enjoy

xx

wow congratulations !!!!!! my brother is going through same thing with his ex , eg lying to the kids ect and withdrawal of contact when she cant get own way .

cafcass is now involved and my brother is seeing them at centre at moment he says it breaks his heart when the chidren beg and plead with him for hm to take them to see there grandparents and rest of family ect yet according to her the kids dont want anything to do with us !!!

i have showed him your thread and its really bollstered him oldest already saying i wanna live with you ect .

wrexham north wales.  it has cost us a fortune which is bloody wrong and thats what puts alot of dads off as it isnt fair but id encourage people to carry on and dont give up, were skint now but its been worth it.

Wow!!! Mega-Congratulations!!!!

And, well done to Judge for having some balls!!!

DH and I have spent the last 9 years back and to to court - the entire system is soooooooooooooooooooooooo wrong!!

Out of curiosity, whereabouts in the country are you?

yep know this story too well to the fact its quite draining. obviously its a power thing again by the sounds and you are a big threat. but believe me, when the child gets put through the mill enough, they vote with their feet, believe me, she is 8years old and said ive had enough and the judges are coming down hard now on these women who are an insult to mothers , they dont realise without the men the chiold wouldnt exist any way and when the child grows up they will turn against them and be damaged emotionaly.

thats great news. sounds like she was totally unhinged. its disgusting when mothers use their kids as weapons to get at the dad. thats exactly what has been happening with my dss since he was 7 ... hes 11 now! ever since my dh and i have together she has become "supermum" beofre when dh was single she lef him to look after dss all the time didnt even bother to spend mothers day with him. as soon as i was on the scene she started playing happy familys with dss just as he started to remember important things thus making dh look like the unattentive one. she started messing about with contact times we'd ask for 1 like normal and she'd say no 330 im busy but turns out she wasnt - just being a b*** and deprving dss of time with his dad. he stopped hardly coming down saying he didnt want to but didnt know why, s***ging dh off at every opportunity. in the end we had to go to court to get a contact order set up and parental responsibility and she actually went to try and stop dh getting it but still expected money constantly for him which we gave as we didnt wasnt dss to miss out on anything. of course we won pr. when she told dss that his new brother or sister wasnt only a half sibling so wouldnt be important it was the last straw for me and i just couldnt believe anyone could be so cruel and desperate. dss has had to see councillors, special divorced children classes... the list is endless all because she couldnt just help dss be pleased his dad was happy but try and destroy it all .... and she nealy succeeded. things are slowly improving but dh and dss relationship is damaged almost beyond repair. sorry for the rant, thanks for reading. xx

WELL DONE!

its nice to hear an ex getting there cumupance (sp)

wish that would happen for us as we have to beg to see stepson.

xx

yey today we got given full custody of my dsd who is 8. this dispute has been going on for 5 years since me and dp have been together. she has been a complete nitemare, typical ex stuff, soon as we had each child she withdrew contact, told dsd we diddnt want her now ect , and when we announced our wedding she stamped her feet again. the woman is 40, needs to grow up and put her childs needs first. it has just been a big power thing, not letting her stay and when we arrange holidays she will refuse her to come , has always enjoyed us begging for contact but shes come unstuck today. dsd finaly turned round at xmas and refused to go home so we kept her. caffcass has been involved and mediation sessions and relate have been unsuccessful as she kant see past her own feelings, so juge has finaly handed over full custody to me and dp  as he is sick of her behavour, and is quite right aswel. mothers who use their kids as weapons and control are sick, and will get what they dish out back in the end. makes me mad tho as she works full time and claims so got legal aid while my dp bill stands at 6 grand +  grrrrrrrrrrr   these women!   any way im happy that dsd is happy again.