The only way you can resolve this is to talk to your bf I'm afraid. I kept quiet about a lot of things early in my relationship with DH to do with SDD and I'm regretting it now as it's a harder battle to fight, I laid the ground rules from the start and now I'm trying to change them.

Your bf will just have to understand, argument or no argument. I know that's not what you want to hear but if you planning to spend the rest of your life with him then if you don't say something now then he will continuously expect things to carry on the way they are. One way you could do it, which is probably what I would do is to talk about the money situation and also tell him that you are concerned for his daughters hygiene due to her having started her periods and her having no spare underwear etc when she is at yours. Why not suggest to him that you have buy a pack of spare knickers to keep at yours for emergencies. That way maybe he will see that you are taking an interest and do care about his kids, which you obviously do to mention the hygiene issue in the first place and it might make him look realistically about the food issue.

I hope that makes sense and is of some help.

i have 3 step kids and im 6 and half month pregnant with my first my bf kids they stop at ours most weekends but wen they come im doin everything and i get so worn out my bf should be doing it as they are really his responsibility i pay for all the food in the house and even wen they come to stop my bf neva offers to pay for a weekly shop as we all nw its expensive these days i want to say sumat 2 him but im scared as i nw it will end in a arguement as he wont see my side if he was in my shoes then he wud understand. also his eldest not long strted her period and i always tell him to tell his ex to make sure she puts clean pants and clothes but she neva it like what wrong with the women doesnt she want her kids to be hygenic she neva gives her any sanitry towels its hard for me to say anything please someone help