Hi hun i coompletely understand where your coming from. My dp wasnt married but has a 4 year old daughter from a previous relationship. His ex is absolutely awful! She was really jealous and despised us ever getting together anyway which is where it started really. But when we were together at the beginning she used to demand to him when he could see his daughter, it alwasy had to be while she was there so that she could see him cos she was madly in love with him still. The she would stop contact as and when it suited her. He used to have to go 3or 4 months at a time sometimes even 6 before he saw his daughter. i might add she used to make allegations that he used to hit her just so she could get him locked up and it would keep him away from me and her daughter. Shes admited this herself. So it come to the end and we couldnt do it anymore it got to the point we were arguing over it all the time because he would give into her every word i.e when she wanted money etc because she used to make him feel guilty about his daughter. So we took it to court it started at first sending a letter and she point blank refused so we took it to a judge. The judge has always sided with dp and they do with most men as they can see that its the woman stopping it for no reason. She was told at court that she had to give us the contact we wanted which started been every friday to sunday one week then saturday to sunday the following week. However she still used to stop it from he court order as and when it pleased her she used to make up illnesses so she didnt have to send her. So we took her back to court at least 6 times everytime the judge got stern with her at one point she was even threatened with prison. We have now gone back to court to change the court order because shes started school so we wanted every fortnight but pick her up friday from school and drop her at school which meant we didnt have to see his ex but also got the time with her as well as her mum having for a full weekend. Anyway she put on the tears and everything and point blank refused so the judge told her she either appected it or he would take it to a hearing and wed get it anyway so she had no choice but to allow it to go ahead. She was also told that if she stops contact again for no acceptable reason then the judge will look into giving us a residency order.

Sorry if i seem to have gone on there i just wanted to give u a background of what weve been through which seems to be very similar to what your going throuhg. Did you get a court order put in place stating contact times etc? If so then she is not allowed to break unless lo is in hospital. It always pays to record everything down phone calls, txts when she wont send him and why shes said that way they see a pattern and in the end the judge will just be so fed up of what shes doing, after all shes messing the court about as well.

Try not let it come between you and your partner, i know its extremely hard but you have to think that if you split then shes probably won and got what she wanted. His ex also turned worse when she found out we were expecting twins, but shes had no choice but to allow is contact. It has actually made our relationship stronger.

Feel free to message me if you ever want to chat x

i have been wit my patner for three half  years we have a 2 year old together and im currantly 24 weeks pregant. my partner is now divored and was married for two years and wit his ex altogether three years. they had a son whom is now four. we both work and pay £244.00 csa to her month as she has lied to csa and we are trying to prove we have all ways paid her.  we are contantly takng her to court as she keeps stopping and starting contact this has gone on for three years. she is ruining our lifes and im fed up. i do every thing for her little boy my stepson and she tells him to be horrible to me every time he does come over. thats only if she benifits or wants to go out. we are struggle with debt and also have our family to look after. i just dont no what to do any more and i dont want this to come between myself and partner because he just does not see my side and he just carrys on even though shes completly controlling our lifes x x